{"title":"Best Funny T-Shirt Company","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eExplore our best funny t-shirt company collection at Unethical Threads where inappropriate meets impeccable quality. These best funny t-shirt company are crafted for those who appreciate humor that pushes boundaries. Sizes S-4XL, free shipping on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-best-funny-t-shirt-company'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-best-funny-t-shirt-company\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Best Funny T-Shirt Company Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/best-funny-shirts\"\u003eBest Funny Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/weihnachts-t-shirt-lustig\"\u003eWeihnachts T-Shirt Lustig\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Best Funny T-Shirt Company\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/best-funny-t-shirt-company\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"oceangate-tee","title":"Oceangate Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Oceangate Tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who watched a CEO skip safety inspections and pilot a submarine with a game controller. Your sympathy goes to the victims. This shirt goes after the company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWait, is this making fun of the people who died?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. All the heat is aimed at OceanGate the corporation, not the passengers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey skipped independent safety reviews. They used off-the-shelf parts for a vessel diving to 12,500 feet. They charged $250,000 per seat and told concerned engineers to relax. The people on board trusted them, and that trust was catastrophically misplaced. This shirt holds the company responsible, not the people they failed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that handles more pressure than a Titan viewport\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (the kind with actual structural integrity)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors don't implode after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable, because unlike some vessels, this thing comes back every time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, and you should.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone who doom-scrolled the OceanGate coverage for a solid week, this is their shirt. It's the kind of gift that says \"I know exactly who you are and I'm not judging.\" Great for birthdays, holidays, or any time you want to remind a friend that you both process tragedy through humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt making fun of the victims?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The joke targets OceanGate the company and their approach to safety, not the people who lost their lives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Oceangate Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. The colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the material thick or thin?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThick. Heavyweight cotton, not some see-through fast fashion situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill people get offended if I wear this?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome might. But anyone who actually followed the OceanGate story will get it immediately. The shirt punches up at corporate negligence, not down at tragedy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Royal Blue \/ Small","offer_id":40466213077074,"sku":"Oceangate-Blue-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal Blue \/ Medium","offer_id":40466213109842,"sku":"Oceangate-Blue-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal Blue \/ Large","offer_id":40466213142610,"sku":"Oceangate-Blue-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal Blue \/ XL","offer_id":40466213175378,"sku":"Oceangate-Blue-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal Blue \/ 2XL","offer_id":40466213208146,"sku":"Oceangate-Blue-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal Blue \/ 3XL","offer_id":40515188654162,"sku":"Oceangate-Blue-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal Blue \/ 4XL","offer_id":40515188686930,"sku":"Oceangate-Blue-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40466213240914,"sku":"Oceangate-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40466213273682,"sku":"Oceangate-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40466213306450,"sku":"Oceangate-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40466213339218,"sku":"Oceangate-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40466213371986,"sku":"Oceangate-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40515188719698,"sku":"Oceangate-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":40515188752466,"sku":"Oceangate-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40466213404754,"sku":"Oceangate-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40466213437522,"sku":"Oceangate-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40466213470290,"sku":"Oceangate-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40466213503058,"sku":"Oceangate-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40466213535826,"sku":"Oceangate-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40515188785234,"sku":"Oceangate-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":40515188818002,"sku":"Oceangate-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/7bc448dba8146f7a0e44bb49f288bc02.jpg?v=1762473671"},{"product_id":"still-no-hos-sweatshirt","title":"Still No Ho's Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Still No Ho's Sweatshirt is Unethical Threads' tribute to Santa's annual romantic failure. Same beard, same red suit, same results. It's a heavyweight Christmas sweatshirt for anyone who's spent another holiday season flying solo and decided to make it funny instead of sad.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose best holiday flex is self-deprecating honesty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour single friend who sends the group chat \"still no ho's\" every December? This is their uniform. Works at ugly sweater parties, family dinners where your aunt won't stop asking about your love life, and solo couch Christmases with a whiskey. Honestly, it's funnier if it's true.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels substantial, not tissue-paper-thin like your last situationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're keeping it simple\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the design is in the fabric, not peeling off after three washes like a screen print from 2014\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs nicely with eggnog, questionable decisions, and a sense of humor about your love life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Christmas Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift for someone who'd laugh at it and the worst gift for someone who wouldn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you have to wonder whether they'd be offended, they'd be offended. But for the friend who's single, knows it, and thinks it's hilarious? This is the move. You're not being mean. You're being seen. There's a difference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Still No Ho's Sweatshirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and it stays true to size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this sweatshirt actually warm?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Heavyweight cotton means it's thick enough for real cold, not just costume-grade holiday wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Still No Ho's Sweatshirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is in the fabric, not sitting on top of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can return it per our return policy, but we can't return the look on their face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40617565225042,"sku":"NoS-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40617565257810,"sku":"NoS-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40617565290578,"sku":"NoS-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40617565323346,"sku":"NoS-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617565356114,"sku":"NoS-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617565388882,"sku":"NoS-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/3befb99d98c35de7bbac0a851e7fd6cb.jpg?v=1762475527"},{"product_id":"i-have-a-big-package-for-you-barry-wood-sweatshirt","title":"I Have A Big Package For You Barry Wood Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Have A Big Package For You Barry Wood Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is exactly what you think it is. Barry Wood, holiday spirit, and a promise that's technically about Christmas gifts. Wear it to the office party if you want HR to finally learn your name.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe friend who peaked in group chats. The one who shows up to the ugly sweater party and somehow makes it uncomfortable for everyone, including the host.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever sent the Barry Wood pic at 2 AM on a Tuesday, this sweatshirt was made for you. You already know who you are. The I Have A Big Package For You sweatshirt just makes it official.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can survive your uncle's holiday interrogation and a dozen wash cycles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Barry welcomes all sizes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. Like Barry himself.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after the party gets weird\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so your big package stays big\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I thought of you\" quite like handing someone a Barry Wood Christmas sweatshirt during a gift exchange. Your Secret Santa recipient will either love you forever or never make eye contact with you again. Either way, they'll remember it. And honestly, that's more than most gifts can promise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an ugly Christmas sweater?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a sweatshirt with Barry Wood on it promising a big package. \"Ugly\" is a matter of perspective. Beautiful? Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Barry Wood sweatshirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so everyone can carry Barry's energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Barry's not going anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this outside of Christmas?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBarry Wood is not seasonal. He's a lifestyle. Wear it whenever you want.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you like your job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40617568632914,"sku":"PackageS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40617568665682,"sku":"PackageS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40617568698450,"sku":"PackageS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40617568731218,"sku":"PackageS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617568763986,"sku":"PackageS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617568796754,"sku":"PackageS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/5df9a81fc2d0641f3ad20b5062ebef5e_1.jpg?v=1762475527"},{"product_id":"do-not-give-me-a-cigarette-sweatshirt","title":"Do Not Give Me A Cigarette Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Do Not Give Me A Cigarette sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for everyone who's \"quit\" smoking six times this year. You know the drill: two drinks in, someone lights up, and suddenly your willpower evaporates. This sweatshirt does the heavy lifting your self-control won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually needs this sweatshirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's ever bummed \"just one\" cigarette and then chain-smoked half a pack on someone's porch at 2 AM.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your friends have to physically slap cigarettes out of your hand, this is the polite version of that. It's a cry for help you can wear to brunch. Let the chest do the talking so your lungs don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real garment, not a tissue with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck because you're not that complicated\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds its color through every shame cycle in the wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, so it still fits after you stress-eat instead of smoking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for someone trying to quit?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift. Honestly, better than nicotine gum. Better than the patch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone you love keeps \"quitting\" every Monday, hand them this and let the sweatshirt do the confrontation you're too nice to have. They'll laugh. Then they'll wear it. Then some stranger at a bar will actually respect the request, and you'll have done more than a box of Nicorette ever could.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this sweatshirt actually stop people from giving you cigarettes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSurprisingly, yes. Most people read your chest before offering you a smoke. It's not foolproof (drunk people can't read), but it's more effective than your willpower.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Do Not Give Me A Cigarette sweatshirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on everyone regardless of how many quit-smoking snacks you've been housing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. The print will outlast your commitment to quitting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt says Do Not Give Me A Cigarette. It's not profane, it's not graphic, it's just a desperate plea printed on a sweatshirt. Wear it anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40617571844178,"sku":"CigS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40617571876946,"sku":"CigS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40617571909714,"sku":"CigS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40617571942482,"sku":"CigS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617571975250,"sku":"CigS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617572008018,"sku":"CigS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/769df1346746d17cd1bb245d144b6beb.jpg?v=1762475528"},{"product_id":"certified-munch-sweatshirt","title":"Certified Munch Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Certified Munch Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. 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You're inappropriate, not uncivilized.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e, so the colors outlast your relationships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e. Your choices are questionable but at least your laundry routine doesn't have to be.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift for someone you actually know well enough to give it to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a Secret Santa pick for the coworker you met last Tuesday. This is for your best friend, your partner who gets your humor, or yourself, because you earned it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Two Seater sweatshirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a relaxed unisex fit. If you want it snug, go with your normal size. 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Years of grip strength, determination, and questionable life choices, all immortalized on heavyweight cotton so you can finally claim the title you deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who commit to the bit. This isn't a sweatshirt you throw on without thinking. It's for the friend who always takes the joke one step further, the one everyone's slightly afraid to play party games with. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not some paper-thin afterthought\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (champions come in all sizes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck for maximum trophy-ceremony readiness\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the graphic stays sharp and vivid through every wash cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft enough to recover in after you've defended your title\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the perfect gift. Nothing says \"I know exactly who you are and I'm not sorry\" like handing someone an Anal Bead Tug O War Champion sweatshirt at a birthday party. Ideal for white elephant exchanges, bachelor parties, or that friend whose middle school tug of war training took a wildly different direction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this sweatshirt actually comfortable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit, so it's warm without feeling like a weighted blanket. Cozy enough for the couch, loud enough for the bar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFollow the care instructions (cold wash, tumble dry low) and it'll hold its size. We're not trying to ruin your victory lap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes do you carry?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Champions come in every size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric, so it stays smooth and won't crack or fade like cheap screen prints.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck our return policy, but someone getting offended is kind of the point. 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It pairs well with sweatpants, questionable decisions, and a bowl of actual oatmeal if you're feeling on-brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a paper bag from a gas station\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e (Shaq himself would need a custom order, but you're probably fine)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because this isn't a henley situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay put even after you inevitably spill oatmeal on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, because surprises belong in cereal boxes, not your dryer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift for someone who appreciates a pun that absolutely did not need to exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBirthday, Christmas, random Tuesday because you saw it and thought of them. The bar for funny gifts is low and this clears it. Just don't pair it with a box of oatmeal unless you want them to think you're making a lifestyle suggestion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this sweatshirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but it runs true.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG (direct-to-garment) printed, so the colors hold up. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to be extra careful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this officially licensed by Shaq?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is a parody design. We're not affiliated with Shaquille O'Neal, the NBA, or any oatmeal brands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if it doesn't fit?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Check our return policy page for details on exchanges and returns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40617579184210,"sku":"ShaqS-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40617579249746,"sku":"ShaqS-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40617579282514,"sku":"ShaqS-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40617579315282,"sku":"ShaqS-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617579348050,"sku":"ShaqS-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617579380818,"sku":"ShaqS-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40617579413586,"sku":"ShaqS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40617579446354,"sku":"ShaqS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40617579479122,"sku":"ShaqS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40617579511890,"sku":"ShaqS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617579544658,"sku":"ShaqS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617579577426,"sku":"ShaqS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/88ea1613eee21e175e94578b739400b4.jpg?v=1762475531"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-newport-sweatshirt","title":"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Newport Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Newport\" sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for people whose cigarette loyalty borders on felony territory. If you've ever seriously considered violence over a menthol, congratulations, this is your uniform. Heavyweight, cozy, and morally bankrupt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe person in your friend group who everyone is slightly afraid of. You know exactly who.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the sweatshirt for anyone whose Newport devotion transcends reason. It's for smoke break philosophers, gas station regulars, and people who've said \"I'd kill for a cigarette\" and meant it a little too literally. If you saw the words \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Newport\" and thought \"finally, someone gets me,\" you're home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels substantial, not that tissue-paper nonsense from brands that don't respect you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Newport loyalty has no size limit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. Like your addiction\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e directly into the fabric so the colors stay loud even after you've washed the smoke smell out (you won't)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift that says \"I pay attention to your worst qualities and I celebrate them.\" Everyone has that one friend who would see this and immediately feel understood. Buy it for them. Or buy it for yourself and pretend someone thoughtful gave it to you. We won't tell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this sweatshirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a relaxed unisex fit. Go up one for oversized, stick with your usual for standard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point. If your circle can't handle it, get a better circle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on that peels after three washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you're comfortable being the most unhinged person in the room. So yes, everywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo I have to smoke Newports to wear this?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo, but it helps. Non-smokers can wear it ironically. Newport diehards wear it as a statement of fact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40617580068946,"sku":"NewportS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40617580101714,"sku":"NewportS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40617580134482,"sku":"NewportS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40617580167250,"sku":"NewportS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617580200018,"sku":"NewportS-White-2XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617580232786,"sku":"NewportS-White-3XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/9f965c9c30b2e2cd7020dd3cd7c2560f.jpg?v=1762475532"},{"product_id":"rehab-is-for-quitters-sweatshirt","title":"Rehab Is For Quitters Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Rehab Is For Quitters sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for people who looked at self-improvement and said \"nah.\" Heavyweight, soft, and printed to last longer than your New Year's resolutions. If you're going to commit to something, might as well be bad decisions in comfortable clothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've accepted that their coping mechanisms are also their hobbies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friend who brings a flask to brunch. The person at the party who's somehow always the last one standing and the first one down. If you saw the phrase \"Rehab Is For Quitters\" and thought \"finally, a sweatshirt that gets me,\" you're exactly the target audience. No judgment here. That's literally the whole brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like something. Not that tissue-paper garbage.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Room for everyone (and everything you ate last night).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. Not trying to reinvent the wheel here.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay put. Unlike your dignity after an open bar.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Because life comes at you fast enough already.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely, for the right person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they laugh at things they probably shouldn't and own it, this is the move. If they send you motivational quotes at 7 a.m., maybe try a candle. The Rehab Is For Quitters sweatshirt hits hardest when the person wearing it is completely self-aware about their life choices. So, you know. Most of our customers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Rehab Is For Quitters sweatshirt actually soft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Heavyweight cotton that feels broken-in from the first wear. Cozy enough for the couch, sturdy enough for questionable decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL. Check the size chart, but when in doubt, size up. Nobody ever regretted a little extra room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink or fade in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe DTG print holds its color and the fabric keeps its shape. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and it'll outlast your liver.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who drinks a lot?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they'd laugh at it, yes. If you're not sure whether they'd laugh at it, you already know the answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40617580757074,"sku":"RehabS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40617580789842,"sku":"RehabS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40617580822610,"sku":"RehabS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40617580855378,"sku":"RehabS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617580888146,"sku":"RehabS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617580920914,"sku":"RehabS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/483e544c65e53a43d22df017b9cde80b.jpg?v=1762475532"},{"product_id":"g-is-for-gaslight-sweatshirt","title":"G Is For Gaslight Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe G Is For Gaslight Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is the alphabet lesson your therapist warned you about. If you know the difference between gaslighting and \"just remembering things differently,\" this one's for you. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, and absolutely no accountability included.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been lovingly accused of gaslighting at least once this week. Your friend who wins every argument by making you question your own memory. The person in the group chat everyone's a little afraid of. If you've ever said \"I never said that\" while knowing full well you said exactly that, congratulations, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real commitment (unlike you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S-4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're gaslighters, not monsters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid through every wash cycle and every denial\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, so at least something in your life is predictable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. It's the perfect gift for someone who insists they never said that thing you both know they said. Also great for birthdays, holidays, or passive-aggressive Secret Santa exchanges. If you're worried about offending the recipient, they're probably not your target audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this sweatshirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a relaxed unisex fit. Most people go with their usual size. Between sizes? Size up for a comfier fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. No cracking, no peeling, no fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually about gaslighting?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a funny alphabet joke on a sweatshirt. If someone reads deeper into it, that sounds like their problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your HR department's sense of humor. If they have one, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40617582657618,"sku":"KevS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40617582690386,"sku":"KevS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40617582723154,"sku":"KevS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40617582755922,"sku":"KevS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40617582788690,"sku":"KevS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40617582821458,"sku":"KevS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/c827542a69ab1cf6dabee90af23fa887.jpg?v=1762475534"},{"product_id":"run-from-the-irs-sweatshirt","title":"Run From The IRS Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is the Run From The IRS sweatshirt by Unethical Threads. It's for people who view tax season less as a civic duty and more as a cardio opportunity. Soft heavyweight cotton, because if you're going to be a fugitive, at least be a comfortable one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who find the IRS funnier than scary. So, most of the internet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFreelancers who \"forgot\" a 1099. Small business owners running on vibes and a prayer. Your friend who files an extension every single year and acts surprised about it every single time. Also, somehow, a lot of actual CPAs. We don't ask questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels expensive (because it is, but less expensive than back taxes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S-4XL. Runs true to size.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck. Classic. We're not trying to reinvent anything here.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors hold up wash after wash, unlike your offshore accounts.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk. Fits the same whether you're pre or post audit stress-eating.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a perfect gift for anyone who complains about taxes, which is literally everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDrop it on a coworker during tax season. Give it to your dad who's been \"doing his own taxes\" for 30 years. Hand it to your friend who just got their first freelance check and has absolutely no idea what's coming for them in April.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this sweatshirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a relaxed unisex fit available in S-4XL. Order your normal size unless you want the oversized look, then go up one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top. Holds up through washes without cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually about tax evasion?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a joke. We are not providing financial advice. Please file your taxes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the material like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Thick enough to feel substantial, soft enough that you'll want to live in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to the IRS office?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLegally, we can't tell you not to. But we'd love to see the photos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40688848011346,"sku":"IRSSS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40688848044114,"sku":"IRSSS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40688848076882,"sku":"IRSSS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40688848109650,"sku":"IRSSS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688848142418,"sku":"IRSSS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688848175186,"sku":"IRSSS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40688848207954,"sku":"IRSSS-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40688848240722,"sku":"IRSSS-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40688848273490,"sku":"IRSSS-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40688848306258,"sku":"IRSSS-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688848339026,"sku":"IRSSS-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688848371794,"sku":"IRSSS-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/b272ca74d60d4952b475128386a1dca0.jpg?v=1762476159"},{"product_id":"bring-me-my-keys-sweatshirt","title":"Bring Me My Keys Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Bring Me My Keys sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for people who've heard \"you're not driving\" one too many times. It's a heavyweight drinking humor pullover that says what you're thinking when your friends start hiding your car keys. No apology. No designated driver speech.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think their friends are being dramatic. You had two beers and a shot, you're fine. (You're not fine, but the sweatshirt is funny.) This is the pullover for tailgates, bar crawls, and Sunday brunches where someone inevitably brings up last night.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it costs more than your Uber home\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, no fussy details\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) printing so the colors stay locked in through every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, because this sweatshirt shouldn't shrink even if your judgment does\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. If you know someone who's had their keys confiscated at a party, this is their sweatshirt. It's also perfect for white elephants, birthdays, or \"I saw this and immediately thought of you\" moments. The kind of gift people actually wear instead of stuffing in a drawer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Bring Me My Keys sweatshirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt runs true to size with a relaxed fit. If you want it oversized for maximum couch energy, go up one size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric so it stays vivid. No cracking, no peeling, no sad faded joke after a few washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your definition of appropriate. It's a sweatshirt, not a felony. Most people laugh, some people lecture, and both reactions are equally entertaining.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Everyone gets to represent their questionable decision-making equally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40688850534482,"sku":"KeysSS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40688850567250,"sku":"KeysSS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40688850600018,"sku":"KeysSS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40688850632786,"sku":"KeysSS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688850665554,"sku":"KeysSS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688850698322,"sku":"KeysSS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/5b4f232dfb6479f56af63b6c504eff9f.jpg?v=1762476161"},{"product_id":"master-baiter-sweatshirt","title":"Master Baiter Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Master Baiter Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A heavyweight fishing innuendo on premium cotton for anyone whose sense of humor peaked somewhere around age 14 and never came back. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who fish. People who don't fish but think the phrase \"master baiter\" is peak comedy. Dads who've been workshopping this joke since 1997.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, if you've ever said \"master baiter\" out loud and watched someone's face go through all five stages, this is your sweatshirt. It's not subtle. It was never going to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that doesn't feel like a paper towel after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL (yes, big guys get jokes too)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck because nobody needs a turtleneck for this\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that keeps its color through every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade for layering over your questionable personality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life has ever made a fishing innuendo and then looked around to see who laughed, hand them this sweatshirt. It's the \"I see you and I respect your commitment to that joke\" gift. Way better than another generic hoodie. Way worse for family photos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Master Baiter Sweatshirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt runs in a unisex relaxed fit. If you want it roomy, go with your normal size. If you want it snug, size down one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's DTG printed, which means the ink is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top. Colors stay put through every wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this around my family?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your family. We've seen it go both ways.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Master Baiter Sweatshirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, and 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the design on the front or the back?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFront. Right where everyone can see it. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40688851026002,"sku":"MasterSS-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40688851058770,"sku":"MasterSS-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40688851091538,"sku":"MasterSS-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40688851124306,"sku":"MasterSS-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688851157074,"sku":"MasterSS-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688851189842,"sku":"MasterSS-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/6eaa085f7f5ea612e9f078c29ef63c39.jpg?v=1762476162"},{"product_id":"hannah-montana-sweatshirt","title":"Hannah Montana Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Hannah Montana Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for everyone who grew up with the best of both worlds and then watched Miley set one of them on fire on live television. 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This sweatshirt says you were paying attention the whole time and you're not ashamed of any of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that could survive a Bangerz tour\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print that keeps its color longer than Hannah kept her secret identity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, so it fits the same after your third 2 AM rewatch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person you're buying for quotes Hannah Montana ironically and has a ranking of Miley's album eras, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they just thought the show was nice, maybe get them a candle. This is for people who appreciate the full, chaotic legacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this sweatshirt unisex?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Relaxed unisex fit in sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) printed. Colors stay vivid through every wash, no cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it holds its size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat is literally the point. If someone recognizes it, you just found your people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40688852172882,"sku":"HannahSS-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40688852205650,"sku":"HannahSS-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40688852238418,"sku":"HannahSS-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40688852271186,"sku":"HannahSS-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688852303954,"sku":"HannahSS-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688852336722,"sku":"HannahSS-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40688852369490,"sku":"HannahSS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40688852402258,"sku":"HannahSS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40688852435026,"sku":"HannahSS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40688852467794,"sku":"HannahSS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688852500562,"sku":"HannahSS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688852533330,"sku":"HannahSS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/7f0b96cf78630a9620d6ab593759c730.jpg?v=1762476162"},{"product_id":"sports-betting-sweatshirt","title":"Sports Betting Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sports Betting Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for anyone who treats their bankroll like a personality trait. Thick, comfortable, and loud enough to let everyone at the bar know you've got action on the second half. This is your uniform now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who check their phone 400 times during a game. The friend who says \"it's not gambling, it's investing\" with a completely straight face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever sweated a meaningless Tuesday night MACtion game because you had the over, this was made for you. Wear it to the sportsbook, wear it on the couch, wear it to Thanksgiving dinner so your family finally stops asking what you do with your free time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it cost more than your last parlay\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because degeneracy has no size limit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, classic cut, nothing weird going on\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors last longer than your winning streaks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk. It'll fit the same whether you're up or down.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who bets on sports?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift. Possibly the only honest thing in their life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGet it for the friend who won't shut up about their parlay, the coworker who has three betting apps on their home screen, or yourself after a big win. Or a big loss. Honestly, especially after a big loss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this sweatshirt actually say something about sports betting on it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Loudly. If you're trying to be subtle about your habits, this is not the sweatshirt for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Sports Betting Sweatshirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone from your buddy who skips meals to bet more to the guy who stress-eats during fourth quarters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. It holds up better than your average parlay.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Your bankroll might fade, but the sweatshirt won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if my spouse doesn't approve?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck our return policy, but maybe the real question is why you need approval to express yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40688852861010,"sku":"SportsSS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40688852893778,"sku":"SportsSS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40688852926546,"sku":"SportsSS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40688852959314,"sku":"SportsSS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688852992082,"sku":"SportsSS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688853024850,"sku":"SportsSS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40688853057618,"sku":"SportsSS-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40688853090386,"sku":"SportsSS-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40688853123154,"sku":"SportsSS-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40688853155922,"sku":"SportsSS-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688853188690,"sku":"SportsSS-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688853221458,"sku":"SportsSS-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/efacabcdb159f83db73a60517d10a868.jpg?v=1762476164"},{"product_id":"i-got-that-dog-in-me-costco-hotdog-sweatshirt","title":"I Got That Dog In Me Costco Hotdog Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Got That Dog In Me Costco Hotdog Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is exactly what you think it is. A $1.50 cultural institution, a meme that won't quit, and heavyweight cotton that actually holds up. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who get the joke without needing it explained. The friend whose group chat contributions are 90% unhinged and 10% \"lol same.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't a novelty piece you wear once and shove in a drawer. It's heavyweight, comfortable, and happens to be extremely funny. Wear it to the store, the cookout, or Thanksgiving dinner if you've got the nerve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like real clothing, not a tissue-paper situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds its color, not just for the first three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk fabric, so it fits the same after laundry day as it did during your impulse buy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift. This is the one that gets unwrapped and immediately put on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Secret Santa, White Elephant, birthdays, or \"I saw this and thought of you\" situations. If the person you're buying for has ever quoted this meme or defended the Costco food court with their whole chest, you're done shopping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this sweatshirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk, so what you order is what you get. Wash cold and tumble dry low if you want to play it safe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does \"I got that dog in me\" mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know, you know. If you don't, the internet will catch you up in about 30 seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a unisex sweatshirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL. Looks good on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe DTG print keeps the design locked in. Wash inside out on cold for best results, but it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to Costco?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can and you should. Nobody has ever been kicked out of Costco for wearing a hot dog sweatshirt. To our knowledge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":40688854204498,"sku":"CostcoSS-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":40688854237266,"sku":"CostcoSS-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":40688854270034,"sku":"CostcoSS-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":40688854302802,"sku":"CostcoSS-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688854335570,"sku":"CostcoSS-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688854368338,"sku":"CostcoSS-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40688854401106,"sku":"CostcoSS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40688854433874,"sku":"CostcoSS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40688854466642,"sku":"CostcoSS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40688854499410,"sku":"CostcoSS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688854532178,"sku":"CostcoSS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688854564946,"sku":"CostcoSS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/a771f49cff6c7e82eefe923a107d416c.jpg?v=1762476165"},{"product_id":"toyotathon-hell-sweatshirt","title":"Toyotathon Hell Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Toyotathon Hell sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is for people who've made their priorities clear. Some choose heaven, some choose hell, and a few blessed souls choose 0% APR for 60 months. This one's for them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've picked their side. You know the type: they don't argue about politics or religion, they argue about trim levels and dealer markups.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life talks about Toyotathon the way normal people talk about Christmas, this was made for them. It's also just a really comfortable sweatshirt, so honestly, anyone with taste qualifies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that tissue-paper nonsense\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because you're going to Toyotathon, not a runway show\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the color lasts longer than your lease\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, so it still fits after you stress-eat at the dealership\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift. If you know someone who lights up at the words \"zero percent financing,\" this is their sweatshirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlso works for white elephant parties, car meets, or passive-aggressively telling your Toyota-obsessed friend that you see them. Size chart is on the page if you're not sure, and everything ships fast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Toyotathon Hell sweatshirt actually comfortable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Cozy enough to live in, whether you're browsing a dealership lot or just on your couch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed, so the ink bonds directly into the fabric. Colors stay locked in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this going to offend someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly people who take car sales events way too seriously. Or not seriously enough. Honestly, hard to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to an actual Toyotathon?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou absolutely should. The sales staff will either love it or be deeply confused. Both outcomes are good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":40688856432722,"sku":"ToyotaSS-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":40688856465490,"sku":"ToyotaSS-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":40688856498258,"sku":"ToyotaSS-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":40688856531026,"sku":"ToyotaSS-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40688856563794,"sku":"ToyotaSS-White-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40688856596562,"sku":"ToyotaSS-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/b52bfaa8334a554d1265d57dedd6102d.jpg?v=1762476165"},{"product_id":"i-got-that-dog-in-me-costco-hotdog-hoodie","title":"I Got That Dog In Me Costco Hotdog Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Got That Dog In Me Costco Hotdog Hoodie from Unethical Threads is for anyone whose relationship with the $1.50 hotdog combo has become a core personality trait. You've been there. You've eaten three in one trip and you need the world to know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who treat the Costco food court like a religious experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe ones who will defend that hotdog price point in arguments nobody asked them to have. If you've ever called the $1.50 combo \"the last honest deal in America,\" congratulations, this is your uniform now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not some see-through afterthought\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we keep it classic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors don't quit on you (unlike your fantasy football picks)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, because nobody needs that kind of betrayal from their laundry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRidiculously good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Costco hotdog is basically a cultural institution at this point, so the overlap of \"people who get this\" and \"people who exist\" is almost a circle. 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The joke stays crisp even when you don't.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same on day one hundred as it did on day one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift. Possibly the best gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life has strong feelings about sugar-free cola, this sweatshirt says \"I see you and your very specific brand of chaos\" better than any card ever could. Works for birthdays, White Elephant, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of one specific person. You know the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's pre-shrunk. 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You'll get tracking info once it's on its way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":41284548690002,"sku":"PepSweat-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":41284548722770,"sku":"PepSweat-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":41284548755538,"sku":"PepSweat-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":41284548788306,"sku":"PepSweat-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":41284548821074,"sku":"PepSweat-White-2XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":41284548853842,"sku":"PepSweat-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/b9cb5c6a912ae4015d7a7c8af7324361.jpg?v=1762480535"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-coke-zero-sweatshirt","title":"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coke Zero Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coke Zero\" sweatshirt from Unethical Threads says what every Coke Zero loyalist has thought but never had the nerve to put on clothing. Heavyweight, cozy, and completely unhinged. Children: consider yourselves on notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who have strong opinions about artificial sweeteners and weak opinions about other people's children.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCoke Zero fans are a specific breed. You didn't choose the zero-sugar life, the zero-sugar life chose you, and now you're willing to commit light felonies to protect it. 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The best gifts require no explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":41292363726930,"sku":"SGynes-White-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":41292363759698,"sku":"SGynes-White-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":41292363792466,"sku":"SGynes-White-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":41292363825234,"sku":"SGynes-White-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":41292363858002,"sku":"SGynes-White-2XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":41292363890770,"sku":"SGynes-White-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":41292363923538,"sku":"SGynes-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":41292363956306,"sku":"SGynes-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":41292363989074,"sku":"SGynes-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41292364021842,"sku":"SGynes-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":41292364054610,"sku":"SGynes-Black-2XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":41292364087378,"sku":"SGynes-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/97891b55241b9ec15737b411cdd2082c.jpg?v=1762480617"},{"product_id":"im-not-a-gynecologist-cunt-xmas-ugly-sweatshirt","title":"I'm Not A Gynecologist Cunt Xmas Ugly Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Not A Gynecologist Cunt Xmas Ugly Sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A festive ugly sweater with a medical professional disclaimer that goes exactly where you think it goes. Wear it to every holiday gathering where you want to be remembered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this to a Christmas party?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe funniest person there. You know the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShows up late, somehow already has a drink, and delivers the line of the night before anyone's even sat down. This sweater is their uniform. It's also the move when you're tired of losing the ugly sweater contest to someone in a store-bought reindeer nightmare with jingle bells hot-glued to it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real garment, not a costume piece\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, your weird uncle is covered)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the colors hold up through every wash and holiday season\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFull ugly Christmas sweater patterning around the, let's say, thesis statement\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift you'll give this year. Full stop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift that says \"I know exactly who you are and I respect that.\" Perfect for Secret Santa when you actually know the person and refuse to just grab a candle. Works for the friend, sibling, or coworker who already owns something offensive and needs the holiday edition. If you're buying it for yourself, even better. Self-awareness is attractive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a real ugly Christmas sweater or a printed sweatshirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a sweatshirt with a full ugly sweater design printed on it. Same heavyweight cotton feel, festive Christmas patterning, no actual knit. Looks the part, feels better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing locks the ink into the fabric. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put season after season.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this outside of Christmas?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTechnically yes, but the ugly sweater patterning is peak December energy. The sentiment, however, is year-round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. If the person you're buying for would describe themselves as \"easily offended,\" maybe grab them a gift card instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":41294733901906,"sku":"SXmasCunto-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":41294733934674,"sku":"SXmasCunto-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":41294733967442,"sku":"SXmasCunto-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41294734000210,"sku":"SXmasCunto-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":41294734032978,"sku":"SXmasCunto-Black-2XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":41294734065746,"sku":"SXmasCunto-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/6472e4d4b59d5c892b91ed18a2c4078b.jpg?v=1762480678"},{"product_id":"new-i-saw-diddy-kissing-santa-claus-sweatshirt","title":"*NEW* I Saw Diddy Kissing Santa Claus Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Saw Diddy Kissing Santa Claus sweatshirt from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. If you know, you know. It's a heavyweight holiday sweatshirt for people who want their ugly Christmas sweater to actually mean something this year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this to the office party?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with impeccable timing and questionable judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the sweatshirt for the person in your friend group who texts the news link before anyone else. The one who already has an opinion about everything. The one you secretly hope sits at your table at every holiday function. You don't wear this to blend in. You wear it because you saw the headlines and thought \"that's my Christmas sweater.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not some flimsy costume piece\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, because we don't gatekeep comfort)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid through every wash (Diddy isn't fading anytime soon)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft enough to nap in after you've successfully ruined Christmas dinner\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a gift or a self-buy?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth. Honestly, it might be the best gag gift you give this year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it up, toss it in the pile at the white elephant exchange, and watch the room split between people who are crying laughing and people who are quietly googling. Either reaction is correct. If you're buying this for yourself, even better. Nobody needs permission to be the funniest person at the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a real ugly Christmas sweater?\u003c\/strong\u003e It's a sweatshirt with ugly Christmas sweater energy. Same spirit, better comfort, and way more likely to get you talked about.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Diddy Kissing Santa sweatshirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e No. DTG (direct to garment) printing locks the colors in. Wash it like normal and Diddy stays crisp.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this after Christmas?\u003c\/strong\u003e You can wear it whenever you want. The news cycle didn't stop in December and neither should your sweatshirt.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIs this going to offend someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e That depends entirely on who you ask. We'd call it topical.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":41295058010194,"sku":"SSawDid-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":41295058042962,"sku":"SSawDid-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":41295058075730,"sku":"SSawDid-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41295058108498,"sku":"SSawDid-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":41295058141266,"sku":"SSawDid-Black-2XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":41295058174034,"sku":"SSawDid-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/b37b252f6067ed9bc7f64f02a0e4a3e7.jpg?v=1762480683"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/collections\/Best_Funny_T-shirt_Company.jpg?v=1761607072","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/best-funny-t-shirt-company.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}