{"title":"Colon Cancer Shirts Funny","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDiscover Unethical Threads' colon cancer shirts funny collection featuring bold, unapologetically funny designs. Each piece combines quality materials with humor that actually lands. Shop colon cancer shirts funny with confidence - sizes S-4XL, fast shipping, 30-day guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-colon-cancer-shirts-funny'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-colon-cancer-shirts-funny\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Colon Cancer Shirts Funny Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-alcohol-christmas-shirts\"\u003eFunny Alcohol Christmas Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts-senior-citizens\"\u003eFunny Shirts Senior Citizens\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Colon Cancer Shirts Funny\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/colon-cancer-shirts-funny\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"legalize-cocaine-25-funny-gen-z-humor-meme-t-shirt","title":"Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee is Unethical Threads at peak irreverence. A parody shirt that says what your inner voice screams at every boring party. Wear it to a cookout, a festival, or just the grocery store if you're feeling particularly unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in the group chat. If your sense of humor has ever made someone audibly gasp at a family function, congratulations, you found your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee pairs well with poor decisions and an absolute refusal to read the room. It's the kind of shirt that either makes you the funniest person at the party or gets you uninvited from the next one. Both outcomes are acceptable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (everyone deserves to make questionable fashion choices)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck. Nothing fancy, just the right frame for the chaos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print for colors that stay loud long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable, because we know where this shirt is going\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift. Nothing says \"I know exactly who you are\" like handing someone a Legalize Cocaine tee at their birthday party in front of their parents.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a gag gift that people actually wear, which is the highest compliment a funny shirt can get. Perfect for white elephants, bachelor parties, or anyone on your list who you'd describe as \"a lot.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about legalizing cocaine?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a parody. You're wearing a joke, not running for office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs comfortable, not boxy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a DTG print on heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLegally, yes. Socially, that's between you and whatever room you're walking into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOnly if you want them to either become your best friend or never speak to you again. High risk, high reward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42019167371346,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167404114,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42019167436882,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42019167469650,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167502418,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167535186,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167567954,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019167600722,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167633490,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019167666258,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019167699026,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167731794,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167764562,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167797330,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Legalize_Cocaine_25_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"they-say-you-are-what-you-eat-funny-cat-adult-humor-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* They Say You Are What You Eat?! Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eThey Say You Are What You Eat?!\u003c\/em\u003e Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what you think it is. A terrified cat, a filthy double entendre, and the kind of shirt that makes people read it twice then snort-laugh in public. You're welcome.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't need jokes explained to them. Cat people with dirty minds, anyone who's ever cleared a room with a punchline, and honestly, a surprising number of gift-givers who want to watch someone unwrap this at a birthday party. It's a vibe check in cotton form, and most people pass.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL, so everyone gets to play\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, nothing experimental, just a solid shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't bail on you after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with poor decisions and even worse jokes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a fantastic gift. It's the gift that says \"I know exactly who you are and I'm not sorry about it.\" Perfect for birthdays, white elephants, bachelorette parties, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of someone specific. If you have to wonder whether they'd think it's funny, they won't. But you already know who this is for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so it runs pretty standard. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people are happy with their usual pick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed, meaning the ink is embedded in the fabric. No peeling, no cracking, colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this around my family?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your family. Some families would frame this. Others would schedule an intervention. You know which one yours is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes do you carry?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Everyone gets access to bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42021483511890,"sku":"WhatYouEat-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42021483544658,"sku":"WhatYouEat-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42021483577426,"sku":"WhatYouEat-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42021483610194,"sku":"WhatYouEat-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42021483642962,"sku":"WhatYouEat-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42021483675730,"sku":"WhatYouEat-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42021483708498,"sku":"WhatYouEat-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/They_Say_You_Are_What_You_Eat_Funny_Scared_Cat_Adult_Humor_Tee.png?v=1762481931"},{"product_id":"lesbians-eat-what-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-cat-tee","title":"Lesbians Eat What V2 Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Lesbians Eat What V2 Tee from Unethical Threads is the scared cat meme your group chat wore out, now on a shirt that can actually take a beating. The cat heard something. You heard it too. We just had the nerve to print it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly? Everyone. Couples love it, which tracks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one of our top gag gifts right behind the Han Job tee, because nothing says \"I was thinking of you\" like a horrified cat and a double entendre. Also huge with the crowd that needs their shirt to do the talking so they don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Not that see-through stuff you got at a fun run in 2019.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because this shirt has enough going on without a V-neck.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print that keeps the color locked in wash after wash.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk. Order your normal size and move on with your life.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Lesbians Eat What tee isn't subtle and it's not trying to be. Wear it to a cookout and watch the room sort itself. The people who laugh are your people. The people who don't were never going to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL. Order your normal size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing keeps the color solid wash after wash. Wash cold and inside out if you want to be extra careful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Lesbians Eat What shirt offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on the room you're in. We'd call it aggressively funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does V2 mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSecond version of the design. Same joke, updated graphic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to Thanksgiving?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe're not your family therapist. But it would be memorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42022966034514,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42022966067282,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42022966100050,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42022966132818,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42022966165586,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42022966198354,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42022966231122,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Lesbians_Eat_What_Funny_Inappropriate_Scared_Cat_Graphic_Tee.jpg?v=1762481932"},{"product_id":"i-love-miners-t-shirt-funny-minecraft-gen-z-humor-tee","title":"I Love Miners Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Miners tee from Unethical Threads takes a perfectly innocent gaming reference and lets your brain do the rest. Pixelated Minecraft design up front, plausible deniability nowhere to be found. You already know if this shirt is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGamers, degens, and people whose search history would make a therapist quit. This is the shirt you wear when you want to see who in the room is paying attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks great at family gatherings if you hate being invited to family gatherings. Also a certified hit in any group chat screenshot. Wear it to a Minecraft LAN party and become either the hero or the villain, no in-between.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin with a graphic on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e so yes, we got you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic. Nothing weird happening up top (just on the front)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, because surprises are for birthdays, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if your goal is making someone laugh, then immediately look around the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for white elephant exchanges, gamer birthdays, or anyone who thinks \"appropriate\" is more of a spectrum than a rule. Wrap it, hand it over, deny everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Love Miners shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Minecraft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is Minecraft-inspired. What you tell people it means is entirely your business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print lasts longer that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me weird looks?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42024746778706,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42024746811474,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42024746844242,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42024746877010,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42024746909778,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42024746942546,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42024746975314,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Miners_T_Shirt_Funny_Offensive_Minecraft_Tee.jpg?v=1762481966"},{"product_id":"im-stupid-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-couples-matching-tee","title":"I'm Stupid Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Stupid Tee is one half of Unethical Threads' most brutally honest couples set. Pair it with the matching I'm Fucking Stupid tee and let everyone else do the math on who got the worse deal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho wears which one?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's between you and your relationship. But let's be real, if you're reading this page, they already picked yours out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Stupid side is for the one who gets a little grace. The I'm Fucking Stupid side is for the one who earned the emphasis. Most couples don't even need to discuss it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton, thick enough to feel like you actually bought a shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors hold up wash after wash (unlike your last relationship)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good couples gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the couple in question roasts each other for sport, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't for the pair that finishes each other's sentences at brunch. It's for the pair that finishes each other's insults. 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The internet argued about how many men a gorilla could fight. We heard something different.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe guy at the gym who won't shut up about gorilla grip strength. The friend who makes every group chat worse on purpose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBasically anyone who saw the gorilla meme and immediately went to the darkest possible place. 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It's a lifestyle update.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it cost more than your last blind box (it didn't)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that stays vivid through every wash cycle you keep forgetting to run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size, so order your usual and get back to refreshing that restock page\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a Labubu collector?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect gift, mostly because they've already spent all their own money on Labubu.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight tee, solid fit, and a joke they'll immediately understand. Hand it over at the next restock line and watch them lose it. 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You'll want to wear it, not just post in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this around kids?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. Whether you should is between you and your moral compass. We just make the shirts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Labubu product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is an Unethical Threads original. We're not affiliated with Pop Mart or Labubu. 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BJJ guys who want their wardrobe to match their ground game energy, comedy nerds, and Jewish friends who've been waiting for merch at the exact intersection of grappling and guilt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the shirt that lives in your gym bag and earns more compliments than your actual technique.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after a few wash cycles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because grapplers come in every weight class\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck (no weird collars happening here)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors outlast your cardio\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because surprises belong on the mat, not in the dryer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a pun. A really good one, but still a pun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you can't laugh at wordplay this clean, you might be overthinking it. The people who actually train think it's hilarious. The people who don't train were never buying a BJJ shirt anyway. Everyone in the middle just wants to know where you got it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Jew Jitsu Tee run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a relaxed unisex fit, so it's comfortable without being baggy. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people grab their usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing means the design stays sharp no matter how many times you wash it. 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If your entire personality runs on 23 flavors and bad decisions, this is the shirt that finally says it out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who have replaced water with Dr Pepper and aren't sorry about it. The kind of person whose fridge has a dedicated Dr Pepper shelf, whose coworkers know not to touch the mini fridge stash, and who considers \"it's 10 AM\" to be a perfectly fine time for their fourth one. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it costs more than your soda habit (it doesn't)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because even degenerates have standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print for color that won't bail after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable. 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