{"title":"Funny 50Th Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to Unethical Threads' funny 50th shirts collection where humor meets premium craftsmanship. Our funny 50th shirts feature original designs that refuse to play it safe, guaranteed to spark conversations. Available in sizes S-4XL with fast shipping and a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-50th-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-50th-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny 50Th Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-50th-anniversary-shirts\"\u003eFunny 50Th Anniversary Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-50th-birthday-t-shirts-ladies\"\u003eFunny 50Th Birthday T Shirts Ladies\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny 50Th Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-50th-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"diet-cunt-funny-inappropriate-soda-humor-trucker-hat","title":"Diet Cunt Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Diet Cunt Hat by Unethical Threads is a soda parody trucker hat for people who like their humor carbonated and their headwear loud. If you've ever looked at a Diet Coke can and thought \"close, but not quite,\" this is your hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with zero interest in playing it safe at the barbecue. Your fantasy football league buddy, the girl at the tailgate everyone gravitates toward, the coworker who makes HR nervous on casual Friday. If you treat your hat rack like a comedy set list, the Diet Cunt Hat is your closer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps its shape, because a floppy trucker hat is just a sad visor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't turn into a greenhouse by noon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most head sizes, no excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFull-color print\u003c\/strong\u003e on the front panel that holds up through sun, sweat, and regrettable decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, ready to wear straight out of the bag (we know you're not patient enough to shape it yourself)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one of the best gifts you can give under $30. The kind where they open it, pause for a second, then laugh so hard they forget to say thank you. Works for birthdays, bachelor parties, white elephants, or just \"I saw this and thought of you\" situations. That last one hits different anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Diet Cunt Hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFull-color digital print on the front panel. It holds up through regular wear and washing without cracking or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you're willing to own the room. Some rooms are easier than others.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012842852434,"sku":"1743497_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012842917970,"sku":"1743497_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012842885202,"sku":"1743497_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Diet_Cunt_Funny_Crazy_Soda_Parody_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481903"},{"product_id":"i-love-hating-funny-sayings-trucker-hat","title":"I Love Hating Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Hating hat from Unethical Threads says what your face already does. It's a trucker hat for people who've accepted that optimism is overrated and decided to accessorize accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are done pretending. The friend who shows up to brunch already annoyed, the coworker who answers \"how's it going\" with a stare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf hating things is your love language, this hat is fluent. It's not ironic. It's not a phase. You genuinely love hating, and now your head can finally say so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your patience)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for when your contempt runs hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most heads full of grievances\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays sharp without fading or flaking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePolyester\/nylon build\u003c\/strong\u003e that handles daily wear without falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best, actually. Everyone knows someone who runs on spite and iced coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand them the I Love Hating hat and watch their eyes light up for possibly the first time all year. It's the kind of gift that says \"I see you, and I respect the darkness.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured polyester foam front with mesh back panels. Lightweight, breathable, and built for daily wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is printed directly into the material so it stays sharp without fading or flaking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If HR already has a file on you, this hat probably won't make it worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012844720210,"sku":"3138608_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012844785746,"sku":"3138608_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012844752978,"sku":"3138608_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Hating_Funny_Sayings_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_Crazy_Mesh_Hat.jpg?v=1762481905"},{"product_id":"i-was-sober-for-11-years-then-i-turned-12-funny-drinking-hat","title":"I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for anyone whose relationship with alcohol has been longer than most of their friendships. Structured front, mesh back, and a joke that lands before you even open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone whose drinking story starts before their growth spurt. This hat is for the guy at the barbecue who brought his own cooler and has no intention of sharing. The friend who orders a round before anyone sits down. You know exactly who this is. You might be who this is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with a clean, crisp print that stays readable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't overheat while your jokes do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads (and most egos)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic that won't fade, crack, or apologize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e with a curved brim\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Gift or a Self-Portrait?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth, honestly. If you're buying this for someone, you already know they'll wear it to church just to see what happens. If you're buying it for yourself, you've earned it. Eleven years of sobriety is technically impressive even if the math is doing all the heavy lifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this hat come in different sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one size fits most with an adjustable snapback closure in the back. Fits the vast majority of adult heads comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print is made to hold up through regular wear and washing. Just don't throw it in the dryer on high and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured. The front panels hold their shape so the text stays readable and the hat looks clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your job and your HR department's sense of humor. We believe in you, but we also sell inappropriate hats for a reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847833170,"sku":"8334707_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847898706,"sku":"8334707_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847865938,"sku":"8334707_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Was_Sober_For_11_Years_Then_I_Turned_12_Funny_Drinking_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"horny-hungry-hopeless-new-york-yankees-logo-t-shirt-funny-new-york-yankees-meme-tee","title":"Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee from Unethical Threads is three moods, one logo, and zero coping mechanisms. The Yankees NY sits right inside \"Horny\" where, let's be honest, it was always meant to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYankees fans who've accepted that the team is a lifestyle and not a healthy one. Anyone who's described their entire personality as \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" and meant all three at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't ironic. It's a confession on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a napkin after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for job interviews\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't bail after the first spin cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your commitment issues are your problem, not the shirt's.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a Yankees fan?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. For the Yankees fan in your life who has no filter and fewer boundaries. The friend who texts \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" at 2 AM like it's a weather report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it in tissue paper or don't. The shirt does the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the shirt actually have the Yankees logo on it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design uses a stylized NY that references the iconic Yankees look. It's a parody, not officially licensed MLB merch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Horny Hungry Hopeless tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's preshrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Yankees product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is an Unethical Threads original. Parody, not endorsed by MLB or the New York Yankees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print can handle it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42027405705298,"sku":"HHHope-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42027405738066,"sku":"HHHope-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42027405770834,"sku":"HHHope-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42027405803602,"sku":"HHHope-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42027405836370,"sku":"HHHope-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42027405869138,"sku":"HHHope-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42027405901906,"sku":"HHHope-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Horny_Hungry_Hopeless_New_York_Yankees_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481977"},{"product_id":"im-not-a-gorilla-but-i-can-beat-off-100-men-vs-meme-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I'm Not A Gorilla But I Can Beat Off 100 Men Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Not A Gorilla But I Can Beat Off 100 Men tee from Unethical Threads takes the viral gorilla vs. 100 men debate and ruins it in the best way possible. You know exactly what this says. So does everyone reading it from across the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who picked a side in the gorilla debate and then immediately made it weird. If your group chat has no filter and your sense of humor gets you uninvited from things, this shirt was already yours. It just hadn't shipped yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up to repeated questioning from strangers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e (your browser history, unfortunately, is not)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. That's the point. This shirt lives in the sweet spot between \"that's hilarious\" and \"sir, this is a Wendy's.\" Wear it to the cookout, the bar, the gym, wherever plausible deniability still works. If someone doesn't get the joke, that's their problem. If they do get it and they're offended, that's even funnier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone with questionable taste.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric. The colors hold up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this based on the gorilla vs 100 men meme?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. But we made it worse. You're welcome.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAbsolutely. It's the kind of gift that says \"I know you\" in the most concerning way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42036717617234,"sku":"Gorilla100-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42036717650002,"sku":"Gorilla100-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42036717682770,"sku":"Gorilla100-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42036717715538,"sku":"Gorilla100-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42036717748306,"sku":"Gorilla100-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42036717781074,"sku":"Gorilla100-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42036717813842,"sku":"Gorilla100-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Not_A_Gorilla_But_Can_Beat_Off_100_Men_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482056"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-cigarette-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigarette Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Cigarette tee from Unethical Threads is nicotine desperation turned into wearable art. 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This just makes it official.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a blood drive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we're unhinged, not animals\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the graphic stays vivid and doesn't crack after three washes like your ex's promises\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, because nobody needs a surprise crop top\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift. If you know someone who would laugh at this, you already know they'd wear it. Smokers, ex-smokers, people who vape but pretend they don't, the coworker who takes eight smoke breaks a day. This is the shirt that says \"I see you\" without saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so go with your usual size. If you're between sizes, check the size chart on this page.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. We use DTG printing, which puts the ink directly into the fabric instead of sitting on top. It holds up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for family gatherings?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on your family. For most? No. For the fun ones? Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey will. That's sort of the whole point. You're shopping at a store called Unethical Threads, not Hallmark.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo you ship internationally?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe do. Shipping times vary by location, but we ship worldwide.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42038945644626,"sku":"KickerCC-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42038945677394,"sku":"KickerCC-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42038945710162,"sku":"KickerCC-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42038945742930,"sku":"KickerCC-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42038945775698,"sku":"KickerCC-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42038945808466,"sku":"KickerCC-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42038945841234,"sku":"KickerCC-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Cigarette_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482069"},{"product_id":"sesame-street-funny-cocaine-gen-z-meme-t-shirt","title":"Sesame Street Sequel Tee (Back Design)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sesame Street Sequel Tee from Unethical Threads is the episode PBS never aired. Your favorite felt friends, off the clock and deep into some extracurriculars. Back print, because some jokes hit harder when people read them as you walk away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who grew up on Sesame Street and turned out like this. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe type who ruins group chats, sends memes that get you muted, and treats \"too far\" as a suggestion. If your sense of humor peaked somewhere between cursed memes and cancelled TV bits, the Sesame Street Sequel Tee is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a print on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay as vivid as your childhood trauma\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBack design only\u003c\/strong\u003e (the front stays clean for plausible deniability)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a friendship test disguised as a tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they laugh, they're your people. If they don't, you were going to outgrow them anyway. Perfect for white elephants, birthdays for the friend who \"has everything,\" or honestly just treating yourself because nobody else gets your humor like you do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Sesame Street product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. PBS has not called. We're assuming they won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's on the front of the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing. The design is on the back only. The front is blank, giving you full deniability until you turn around.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMinimal shrinkage. It's heavyweight cotton built to hold its shape. Follow the care label and you're set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs comfortable, not boxy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's not a bug, it's the entire product.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42042158973010,"sku":"SesBack-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42042159005778,"sku":"SesBack-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42042159038546,"sku":"SesBack-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42042159071314,"sku":"SesBack-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42042159104082,"sku":"SesBack-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42042159136850,"sku":"SesBack-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42042159169618,"sku":"SesBack-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Sesame_Street_Cocaine_Funny_Gen_Z_Meme_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482089"},{"product_id":"new-call-me-goldilocks-three-bears-funny-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Call Me Goldilocks Three Bears Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Call Me Goldilocks Three Bears Tee from Unethical Threads is a fairy tale retelling your parents definitely didn't read you at bedtime. \"Cause I'm About To Try All 3\" printed across your chest says everything it needs to. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in group chats. The ones whose friends screenshot their texts and send them around.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your humor runs hot enough that you've been asked to \"tone it down\" at a family dinner, this shirt was designed for you. It's the kind of joke that separates the fun table from the kids' table at every gathering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a translucent napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the design stays vivid wash after wash, no cracking, no peeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with poor decisions and good stories\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's an incredible gift if you want to find out how well someone really knows you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSend it to the friend who already gets it and you're a legend. Send it to the wrong person and you might get a concerned text from their mom. Either way, memorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the Goldilocks shirt actually say?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe full text reads \"Call Me Goldilocks Cause I'm About To Try All 3.\" It's a spin on the fairy tale. You can figure out the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so it holds up wash after wash without cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. If your boss has a sense of humor, maybe. If you work in HR, absolutely not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMinimal shrinkage with proper care. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and it'll keep its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42063719923794,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42063719956562,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42063719989330,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42063720022098,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42063720054866,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42063720087634,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42063720120402,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Call_Me_Goldilocks_Cause_I_m_About_To_Try_All_Three_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482119"},{"product_id":"lajewbu-labubu-parody-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Lajewbu Labubu Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Lajewbu tee from Unethical Threads takes the Labubu obsession and runs it straight through the chosen people filter. If you've been deep in the Labubu meme trenches, this one needs no explanation. If you haven't, honestly, keep scrolling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose group chats would get them investigated. The Lajewbu hits hardest with the chronically online crowd who saw the Labubu craze and immediately thought \"this needs to be more offensive.\" You collect niche memes the way normal people collect hobbies, and your wardrobe should reflect that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL, because bad taste comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic cut, no surprises\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that outlasts your friendships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e (your browser history, however, is not)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this get me in trouble?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. That's kind of the whole deal. The Lajewbu isn't for people who play it safe. Wear it around people who get dark humor, or wear it around people who don't and enjoy the chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's not for the easily rattled. If the name alone made you gasp, this probably isn't your brand. We have other shirts. They're also offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat is a Labubu?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA collectible doll that took over the internet. If you don't already know, the joke on this shirt loses about 80% of its power. Google it, then come back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMinimal shrinkage if you follow care instructions. Cold wash, tumble dry low. Treat it better than you treat your relationships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Everyone's welcome at this particular table.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you know the person's sense of humor. This is a \"you get it or you don't\" kind of shirt. Don't gift it to a coworker unless you're fine with an HR meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42084250189906,"sku":"Jewbu-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42084250419282,"sku":"Jewbu-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42084250452050,"sku":"Jewbu-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42084250484818,"sku":"Jewbu-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42084250517586,"sku":"Jewbu-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42084250550354,"sku":"Jewbu-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42084250583122,"sku":"Jewbu-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Lajewbu_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482272"},{"product_id":"sir-racha-sriracha-medieval-meme-graphic-joke-tee","title":"*NEW* Sir Racha Sriracha Medieval Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sir Racha Sriracha Medieval Tee from Unethical Threads puts your favorite hot sauce in full plate armor. It's the dumbest, most historically inaccurate crossover nobody asked for, and you're going to wear the hell out of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying a shirt about medieval hot sauce?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with taste, and by taste we mean the kind that gets you weird looks at family dinner. You're in good company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Sir Racha tee lands with the person at the cookout who won't shut up about heat levels and also knows way too much about the Crusades. Sriracha fans, history nerds, pun enthusiasts, general chaos agents. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a promotional giveaway\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL, because knights come in all builds\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, as the king intended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, not peeling off after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs nicely with actual sriracha stains (not a guarantee, just an observation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. If someone in your life puts sriracha on everything and thinks they're funny, this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's specific enough to feel personal and weird enough that nobody else is getting them the same thing. That's the sweet spot for a gift. They'll know you actually thought about it, even if \"thinking about it\" took you thirty seconds on this page.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Sir Racha tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the design holds up through regular washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt affiliated with Sriracha the brand?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. Sir Racha is our own parody, a ridiculous medieval twist on the hot sauce aesthetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. 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Your standards might fade. The print won't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so it still fits after you stress-eat your way through a situationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Immediately yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift you get someone when a Hallmark card feels too sincere. Works for birthdays, breakups, or that friend who won't stop posting about their ex. If they need a hug from a bad bitch, the least you can do is point them in the right direction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit, available S through 4XL. Between sizes? Go up one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's a DTG print, meaning the ink is embedded in the fabric. It holds up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends on your crowd. We sell the shirt. What happens after that is between you and society.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat material is this made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Thick enough to feel substantial, soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes it shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's preshrunk. Wash it however you want. It's not going anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42170630471762,"sku":"HugByB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42170630504530,"sku":"HugByB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42170630537298,"sku":"HugByB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42170630570066,"sku":"HugByB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42170630602834,"sku":"HugByB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42170630635602,"sku":"HugByB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42170630668370,"sku":"HugByB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42170630701138,"sku":"HugByB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42170630733906,"sku":"HugByB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42170630766674,"sku":"HugByB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42170630799442,"sku":"HugByB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42170630832210,"sku":"HugByB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42170630864978,"sku":"HugByB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42170630897746,"sku":"HugByB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Need_A_Hug_From_A_Bad_Bitch_Black_Shirt.jpg?v=1759770584"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/collections\/Funny_50th_Shirts.jpg?v=1761607678","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/funny-50th-shirts.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}