{"title":"Funny Af T Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to Unethical Threads' funny af t shirts collection where humor meets premium craftsmanship. Our funny af t shirts feature original designs that refuse to play it safe, guaranteed to spark conversations. Available in sizes S-4XL with fast shipping and a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-af-t-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-af-t-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Af T Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-dad-shirts-about-daughters\"\u003eFunny Dad Shirts About Daughters\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-friend-shirts\"\u003eFunny Friend Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Af T Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-af-t-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-eat-drywall-funny-weird-trucker-hat","title":"I Eat Drywall Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Eat Drywall Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people whose sense of humor peaked somewhere between \"chaotic\" and \"concerning.\" It says what it says. You either get it or you're Googling it right now, and both outcomes are funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears a hat that says I Eat Drywall?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eContractors, gym bros, and anyone who peaked in a group chat. This is the hat equivalent of a personality test nobody asked you to take.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone at Home Depot nods at you while you're wearing this, that's your new best friend. You don't choose the drywall life, but you can certainly advertise it on your forehead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e that hold the absurdity upright\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head gets airflow even when your decisions don't deserve respect\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most skulls, even the thick ones\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted design that holds up\u003c\/strong\u003e through washes and questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved brim\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I swear I'm normal\" silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough to insult them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBirthday, White Elephant, \"sorry about what I said at Thanksgiving,\" whatever the occasion. The I Eat Drywall Hat works because it requires no explanation and offers none. Hand it over. Watch their face. That's the whole gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Eat Drywall Hat fit big heads?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe snapback closure adjusts to fit most head sizes. If your head is truly enormous, you probably already know which hats work for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design holds up through regular washes. Skip the bleach, don't iron directly on the print, and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured front panels keep the design looking sharp. The mesh back is flexible for comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your boss has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, that sounds like a you problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012846719058,"sku":"4811494_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Eat_Drywall_Funny_Hats_For_Men_Weird_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_Front_View.jpg?v=1762481907"},{"product_id":"spitters-are-quitters-funny-inappropriate-sayings-hat-for-men","title":"Spitters Are Quitters Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Spitters Are Quitters hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people who've already made their decision and have no interest in revisiting it. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't your section of the internet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with a sense of humor and absolutely no filter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the hat you throw on at the cookout when you want your father-in-law to quietly reconsider the entire marriage. It pairs well with a cold beer, a lawn chair, and complete disregard for polite company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel with mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow, because your head should stay cool even when the jokes land hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most heads, even the big ones full of terrible ideas\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHigh-quality printed graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't crack, peel, or fade on you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker hat silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e that works whether you're at the lake or at a bar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePairs well with\u003c\/strong\u003e questionable decisions and a refusal to grow up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely, if you actually know the person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a perfect gift for your buddy who says the thing everyone else is thinking. It's a terrible gift for your coworker you've spoken to exactly twice. Read the room, then ignore it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Spitters Are Quitters hat actually good quality?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Structured front, mesh back, snapback closure. It's a proper trucker hat, not some flimsy gas station impulse buy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the whole point. If you're worried about offending someone, this brand might not be for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes it fit big heads?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe adjustable snapback fits most head sizes. You're fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHand wash or spot clean. Don't throw it in the dryer unless you want a hat that fits your kid instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012851109970,"sku":"9409634_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012851077202,"sku":"9409634_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012851142738,"sku":"9409634_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Spitters_Are_Quitters_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481912"},{"product_id":"i-love-miners-t-shirt-funny-minecraft-gen-z-humor-tee","title":"I Love Miners Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Miners tee from Unethical Threads takes a perfectly innocent gaming reference and lets your brain do the rest. Pixelated Minecraft design up front, plausible deniability nowhere to be found. You already know if this shirt is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGamers, degens, and people whose search history would make a therapist quit. This is the shirt you wear when you want to see who in the room is paying attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks great at family gatherings if you hate being invited to family gatherings. Also a certified hit in any group chat screenshot. Wear it to a Minecraft LAN party and become either the hero or the villain, no in-between.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin with a graphic on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e so yes, we got you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic. Nothing weird happening up top (just on the front)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, because surprises are for birthdays, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if your goal is making someone laugh, then immediately look around the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for white elephant exchanges, gamer birthdays, or anyone who thinks \"appropriate\" is more of a spectrum than a rule. Wrap it, hand it over, deny everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Love Miners shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Minecraft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is Minecraft-inspired. What you tell people it means is entirely your business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print lasts longer that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me weird looks?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42024746778706,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42024746811474,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42024746844242,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42024746877010,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42024746909778,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42024746942546,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42024746975314,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Miners_T_Shirt_Funny_Offensive_Minecraft_Tee.jpg?v=1762481966"},{"product_id":"tung-tung-tung-sahur-italian-brainrot-meme-t-shirt","title":"Tung Tung Tung Sahur Italian Brainrot Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Tung Tung Tung Sahur Italian Brainrot Tee from Unethical Threads is for people whose sense of humor was permanently rewired by the internet. If you know the chant, you know. If you don't, this shirt isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe chronically online. The ones who hear the cursed chant in their sleep and genuinely believe Italian brainrot is a legitimate cultural movement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour screen time report is horrifying and you've accepted that. This shirt is the uniform for people who stopped trying to explain their humor to coworkers three memes ago. You don't need context. You are the context.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like an actual shirt, not a gas station freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we have some standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors outlast your attention span\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e because surprises belong in memes, not laundry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person you're buying for has ever sent you a brainrot clip at 2AM, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift for someone who's too far gone and proud of it. If they have to Google what Tung Tung Tung Sahur means, save your money and get them a candle or something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Tung Tung Tung Sahur mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you have to ask, you might not be ready for this shirt. It's from the Italian brainrot corner of the internet. You either get it or you don't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it's not going anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on that falls apart after three washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically yes. The real question is whether anyone around you will understand it. That's their problem, not yours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42030158118994,"sku":"TungTung-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42030158151762,"sku":"TungTung-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42030158184530,"sku":"TungTung-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42030158217298,"sku":"TungTung-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42030158250066,"sku":"TungTung-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42030158282834,"sku":"TungTung-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42030158315602,"sku":"TungTung-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Tung_Tung_Tung_Sahur_Italian_Brainrot_Meme_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482000"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-dr-pepper-graphic-inappropriate-humor-tee","title":"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper Graphic Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper tee from Unethical Threads is for the people who mean it. Not every soda, just Dr Pepper. You know your priorities, and this shirt makes sure everyone else does too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been asked \"what's your favorite drink?\" and answered with an intensity that made the room uncomfortable. Dr Pepper loyalists don't do casual. If you've ever gotten genuinely mad at a restaurant for not carrying it, this was made for you. The kind of person who sees 23 flavors and thinks \"yeah, worth it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up better than your impulse control around a vending machine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct to garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e because at least something in your life should be predictable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone whose entire personality is Dr Pepper, this is the gift. Stop buying them another case. They already have a fridge full. Give them something they can wear to Thanksgiving dinner that makes at least one relative deeply uncomfortable. It's thoughtful in the most unhinged way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually say \"dropkick a child\"?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. It says \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper.\" That is the whole shirt. You've been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's not a bug, it's the entire point. If the people around you can't handle it, you might need different people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. This shirt will outlast most of your friendships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLegally, yes. Socially, that depends entirely on how much you care about what strangers think. We're guessing not much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42038716006482,"sku":"KickerD-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42038716039250,"sku":"KickerD-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42038716072018,"sku":"KickerD-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42038716104786,"sku":"KickerD-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42038716137554,"sku":"KickerD-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42038716170322,"sku":"KickerD-Black-3XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42038716203090,"sku":"KickerD-Black-4XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_Dr_Pepper_Soda_Humor_Tee.jpg?v=1762482068"},{"product_id":"good-bush-bad-bush-george-w-bush-busch-apple-t-shirt","title":"Good Bush Bad Bush George W Busch Apple Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Good Bush Bad Bush George W Busch Apple Tee is where presidential history meets gas station beer in the worst possible way. Unethical Threads put them together so you didn't have to. You're welcome (and also, sorry).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho is this shirt actually for?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who see Busch Apple in the cooler and immediately think of foreign policy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your sense of humor has been flagged by the algorithm at least once this year, you're the target demo. This shirt lives at the intersection of history class and a tailgate that went completely off the rails. It's not for everyone, and that's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we're unhinged, not experimental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through your questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same after laundry day, whenever that is for you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this get me in trouble?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. That's kind of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Good Bush Bad Bush design is one of those shirts where half the room laughs and the other half pretends they didn't. If you need plausible deniability, just say it's about beer. Technically, it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the Good Bush Bad Bush shirt mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a mashup of George W. Bush and Busch Apple beer. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is baked into the fabric. Wash it normally and it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf the person you're buying for laughs at things they probably shouldn't, yes. If they've ever forwarded you a meme with zero context, this is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42040622383186,"sku":"BapBush-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42040622415954,"sku":"BapBush-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42040622448722,"sku":"BapBush-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42040622481490,"sku":"BapBush-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42040622514258,"sku":"BapBush-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42040622547026,"sku":"BapBush-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42040622579794,"sku":"BapBush-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/0a6da287df11e2e5bd7b2eb8b2f72be7.jpg?v=1762482071"},{"product_id":"new-i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-costco-hotdog-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Costco Hotdog Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Costco Hotdog tee from Unethical Threads says what everyone in the food court is already thinking. That $1.50 combo is worth defending with violence. This is your public oath of loyalty to the greatest deal in American food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who understand that a Costco membership is a personality trait. If you've ever gotten emotional about a hotdog and soda for a dollar fifty, this shirt is basically your autobiography.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's also for the friend in your group who says the thing everyone else was too polite to say out loud. You know who you are. Your family knows too, and they're tired.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin you'd steal from the Costco food court\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e. Big hotdog energy comes in all sizes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we have some standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e that bonds ink directly to the fabric. The color holds up wash after wash, kind of like your commitment to that hotdog.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the perfect gift for someone you know well enough to insult. If you have to ask whether they'd find this funny, they're not the right person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut if you immediately thought of someone specific when you saw this, you already know the answer. Buy it. They'll wear it to Costco. It will be their whole identity for a week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Wash it however you want, it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes do you carry?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric fibers. The print stays put through regular washing. Your Costco devotion won't peel off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this about the actual Costco hotdog?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The $1.50 hotdog and soda combo. The one they've kept at that price since 1985. That's the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point. If someone gets upset, just remind them the hotdog combo hasn't gone up in price in 40 years. Priorities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42046129471570,"sku":"DaDogC-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42046129504338,"sku":"DaDogC-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42046129537106,"sku":"DaDogC-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42046129569874,"sku":"DaDogC-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42046129602642,"sku":"DaDogC-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42046129635410,"sku":"DaDogC-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42046129668178,"sku":"DaDogC-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Costco_Hotdog_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482094"},{"product_id":"new-call-me-goldilocks-three-bears-funny-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Call Me Goldilocks Three Bears Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Call Me Goldilocks Three Bears Tee from Unethical Threads is a fairy tale retelling your parents definitely didn't read you at bedtime. \"Cause I'm About To Try All 3\" printed across your chest says everything it needs to. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in group chats. The ones whose friends screenshot their texts and send them around.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your humor runs hot enough that you've been asked to \"tone it down\" at a family dinner, this shirt was designed for you. It's the kind of joke that separates the fun table from the kids' table at every gathering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a translucent napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the design stays vivid wash after wash, no cracking, no peeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with poor decisions and good stories\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's an incredible gift if you want to find out how well someone really knows you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSend it to the friend who already gets it and you're a legend. Send it to the wrong person and you might get a concerned text from their mom. Either way, memorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the Goldilocks shirt actually say?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe full text reads \"Call Me Goldilocks Cause I'm About To Try All 3.\" It's a spin on the fairy tale. You can figure out the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so it holds up wash after wash without cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. If your boss has a sense of humor, maybe. If you work in HR, absolutely not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMinimal shrinkage with proper care. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and it'll keep its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42063719923794,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42063719956562,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42063719989330,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42063720022098,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42063720054866,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42063720087634,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42063720120402,"sku":"GoliThree-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Call_Me_Goldilocks_Cause_I_m_About_To_Try_All_Three_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482119"},{"product_id":"sir-racha-sriracha-medieval-meme-graphic-joke-tee","title":"*NEW* Sir Racha Sriracha Medieval Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sir Racha Sriracha Medieval Tee from Unethical Threads puts your favorite hot sauce in full plate armor. It's the dumbest, most historically inaccurate crossover nobody asked for, and you're going to wear the hell out of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying a shirt about medieval hot sauce?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with taste, and by taste we mean the kind that gets you weird looks at family dinner. You're in good company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Sir Racha tee lands with the person at the cookout who won't shut up about heat levels and also knows way too much about the Crusades. Sriracha fans, history nerds, pun enthusiasts, general chaos agents. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a promotional giveaway\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL, because knights come in all builds\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, as the king intended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, not peeling off after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs nicely with actual sriracha stains (not a guarantee, just an observation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. If someone in your life puts sriracha on everything and thinks they're funny, this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's specific enough to feel personal and weird enough that nobody else is getting them the same thing. That's the sweet spot for a gift. They'll know you actually thought about it, even if \"thinking about it\" took you thirty seconds on this page.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Sir Racha tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the design holds up through regular washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt affiliated with Sriracha the brand?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. Sir Racha is our own parody, a ridiculous medieval twist on the hot sauce aesthetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Solid construction, comfortable fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42133024145490,"sku":"SirRacha-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42133024178258,"sku":"SirRacha-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42133024211026,"sku":"SirRacha-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42133024243794,"sku":"SirRacha-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42133024276562,"sku":"SirRacha-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42133024309330,"sku":"SirRacha-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42133024342098,"sku":"SirRacha-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42133024374866,"sku":"SirRacha-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42133024407634,"sku":"SirRacha-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42133024440402,"sku":"SirRacha-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42133024473170,"sku":"SirRacha-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42133024505938,"sku":"SirRacha-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42133024538706,"sku":"SirRacha-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42133024571474,"sku":"SirRacha-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Sir_Racha_Sriracha_Medieval_Meme_Funny_Black_Shirt.jpg?v=1756378958"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-coca-cola-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola tee is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: saying the quiet part loud, on a shirt. It's a Coca-Cola parody for people whose humor never left the group chat. Unhinged? Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think soda brand loyalty is a personality trait and child safety is negotiable. Your friend who says the worst thing at the barbecue and somehow still gets invited back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your love for Coca-Cola borders on criminal, this is your uniform. The Dropkick series is one of our biggest lines for a reason. People see it, they get it, they want one for every brand they'd commit a minor felony over.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a see-through napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e (yes, even the big soda enthusiasts are covered)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we're unhinged, not experimental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG-printed graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its color wash after wash, no cracking or peeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo, you can't actually dropkick children. But you can look like you'd consider it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's the funniest thing you can hand a Coca-Cola fan who doesn't scare easily.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDark humor lovers, meme-fluent coworkers, the friend who always takes the joke one step too far. If you know someone who'd read \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola\" and immediately say \"where do I buy this,\" you already know this is the move. Birthday, holiday, gag gift exchange, whatever. It lands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola shirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt runs unisex relaxed fit. If you want it fitted, go with your normal size. If you want that oversized look, size up one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you wear it and how fast you can run. We've seen everything from laughs to horrified double takes. Wear at your own risk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printed directly into the fabric. The colors won't crack, peel, or fade into a sad ghost of themselves after a few washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if my family disowns me?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe have a return policy, but we can't return your family's respect. Check our return page for the details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come in kids' sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. And given the subject matter, that's probably for the best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42140160950354,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42140160983122,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42140161015890,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42140161048658,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42140161081426,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42140161114194,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42140161146962,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Coca_Cola_Funny_Graphic_Gift_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1757010792"},{"product_id":"new-i-got-narcanned-at-taco-bell-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I Got Narcanned At Taco Bell Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Got Narcanned At Taco Bell tee from Unethical Threads is oddly specific, deeply inappropriate, and definitely based on someone's real worst night. You're either laughing already or you're not our target audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think dark humor is a love language. The friend in your group chat who always has a story that shouldn't be told in public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the kind of shirt you wear to brunch and watch people read it twice. It hits that sweet spot between \"that's horrible\" and \"where did you get that.\" If your humor needs a disclaimer, welcome home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can take a beating (and so can your reputation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because you've already stuck yours out far enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds color through countless washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with bad decisions and a Baja Blast\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the right person, this is the funniest gift they'll get all year. For the wrong person, it's a cry for help they didn't ask for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know which friend this is for. The one with the mugshot story, the one who's been banned from at least one establishment. Buy it before you overthink it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. The DTG print holds its color through countless washes. The shirt will outlast whatever decisions led you to need it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAbsolutely not. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable, durable, and morally questionable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to Taco Bell?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can. Whether you should is between you and whatever higher power you believe in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42148614242386,"sku":"GNarcans-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42148614275154,"sku":"GNarcans-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42148614307922,"sku":"GNarcans-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42148614340690,"sku":"GNarcans-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42148614373458,"sku":"GNarcans-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42148614406226,"sku":"GNarcans-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42148614438994,"sku":"GNarcans-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42148614471762,"sku":"GNarcans-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42148614504530,"sku":"GNarcans-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42148614537298,"sku":"GNarcans-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42148614570066,"sku":"GNarcans-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42148614602834,"sku":"GNarcans-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42148614635602,"sku":"GNarcans-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42148614668370,"sku":"GNarcans-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Got_Narcanned_At_Taco_Bell_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1757803880"},{"product_id":"spread-cheeks-not-hate-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Spread Cheeks Not Hate V2 Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Spread Cheeks Not Hate V2 Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly as unhinged as it sounds. A rallying cry for anyone who believes world peace starts below the waist. If you need the joke explained, this one's not for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who make their friends choke on their drinks at brunch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt isn't for the person nervously scanning the room before they laugh. It's for the one who shows up, gets a standing ovation from the degenerates at the table, and becomes everyone's favorite person by dessert. The V2 refresh keeps the same chaotic energy with a cleaner design that somehow makes the whole thing even more confrontational.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels substantial, not that tissue-paper nonsense\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL, because cheek-spreading is for everybody\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e that sits right without strangling you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e, because at least one thing in your life should be predictable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's the whole pitch. Spread Cheeks Not Hate is a philosophy, really. A lifestyle. You're not being crude, you're being inclusive. And if someone at the cookout disagrees, that's a them problem. Wear it to the grocery store, the gym, your nephew's soccer game. The shirt doesn't care about your comfort zone, and honestly, neither should you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Spread Cheeks Not Hate V2 Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric, so it holds up without cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually comfortable or just funny?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth. It's heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit, so it feels solid without being stiff or boxy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is between you and your personal risk tolerance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42160635740242,"sku":"SCNHate-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42160635773010,"sku":"SCNHate-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42160635805778,"sku":"SCNHate-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42160635838546,"sku":"SCNHate-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160635871314,"sku":"SCNHate-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160635904082,"sku":"SCNHate-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160635936850,"sku":"SCNHate-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42160635969618,"sku":"SCNHate-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42160636002386,"sku":"SCNHate-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42160636035154,"sku":"SCNHate-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42160636067922,"sku":"SCNHate-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160636100690,"sku":"SCNHate-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160636133458,"sku":"SCNHate-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160636166226,"sku":"SCNHate-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Spread_Cheeks_Not_Hate_Black_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1758824186"},{"product_id":"you-cant-spell-autism-without-u-i-funny-autism-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* You Can't Spell Autism Without U+I Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe You Can't Spell Autism Without U+I tee is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: taking something sweet and making it just weird enough to wear. Wholesome wordplay meets meme energy. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople on the spectrum who are done with puzzle piece merch. Parents who'd rather laugh than lecture. Honestly, anyone who thinks autism awareness could use less corporate and more chaos. This is the shirt your support group didn't approve, and that's exactly the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a charity 5K\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Room to be comfortable. Period.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. No surprises there.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through every wash cycle (unlike your neurotypical friends' patience)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e We planned ahead so you don't have to.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends who you ask. The joke is affectionate, not punching down. It's clever wordplay, and most people on the spectrum seem to love it. The only folks who get upset are the ones who get upset at everything. You probably already know which group you fall into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good autism awareness shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's autism awareness with a pulse. No puzzle pieces, no sad blue lighting. Just a clever line that people actually want to wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on pretty much every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing means the design is part of the fabric, not sitting on top of it. Colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. It's the kind of gift that says \"I get you\" without a Hallmark card. Just make sure the recipient has a sense of humor. If they're getting this, they probably do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the humor mean-spirited?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot even close. This is affectionate wordplay, not a roast. It celebrates the spectrum with a wink, not a jab.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42160636919890,"sku":"UIsma-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42160636952658,"sku":"UIsma-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42160636985426,"sku":"UIsma-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42160637018194,"sku":"UIsma-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160637050962,"sku":"UIsma-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160637083730,"sku":"UIsma-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160637116498,"sku":"UIsma-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/You_Can_t_Spell_Autism_Without_U_I_Funny_Shirt.jpg?v=1758824904"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/collections\/Funny_Af_T_Shirts.jpg?v=1761607514","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/funny-af-t-shirts.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}