{"title":"Funny Beaver Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eExplore our funny beaver shirts collection at Unethical Threads where inappropriate meets impeccable quality. These funny beaver shirts are crafted for those who appreciate humor that pushes boundaries. Sizes S-4XL, free shipping on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-beaver-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-beaver-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Beaver Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-aunt-and-niece-matching-shirts\"\u003eFunny Aunt And Niece Matching Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-parody-shirts\"\u003eFunny Parody Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Beaver Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-beaver-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-dont-need-fun-to-have-alcohol-funny-drinking-beer-trucker-hat","title":"I Don't Need Fun To Have Alcohol Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Don't Need Fun To Have Alcohol Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for anyone who settled the fun vs. alcohol debate years ago. Alcohol won. This snapback just makes it official.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears a drinking hat unironically?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who stopped pretending they drink for the taste somewhere around their mid-twenties.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the hat you throw on for a barbecue, a tailgate, or your backyard at 2pm on a Tuesday. It tells everyone exactly where you stand without you having to say a word. Honestly, it's doing you a favor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front\u003c\/strong\u003e with cotton twill face, so the print stays crisp even when you don't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e because nobody wants a sweaty head on top of a hangover\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most heads comfortably (yes, even yours)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFull-color print\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up through regular washes and the occasional spill\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOne size fits most.\u003c\/strong\u003e If your head is truly enormous, that's between you and genetics\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you buy all year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat is perfect for anyone who's ever said \"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a connoisseur\" with a straight face. Works for birthdays, white elephants, bachelor parties, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of someone specific. That person knows who they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print hold up?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Full-color print that holds up through regular washes. Treat it like you'd treat any hat you actually like.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSnapback closure in the back. One size fits most adults comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. But the kind of person offended by a drinking hat wasn't going to be fun at the party anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on where you work and how much you value HR's opinion of you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured foam front with cotton twill and breathable mesh back panels. Comfortable enough to forget you're wearing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012843704402,"sku":"2397894_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012843671634,"sku":"2397894_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":42012843638866,"sku":"2397894_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Don_t_Need_Fun_To_Have_Alcohol_Funny_Drinking_Beer_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481903"},{"product_id":"i-love-hating-funny-sayings-trucker-hat","title":"I Love Hating Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Hating hat from Unethical Threads says what your face already does. It's a trucker hat for people who've accepted that optimism is overrated and decided to accessorize accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are done pretending. The friend who shows up to brunch already annoyed, the coworker who answers \"how's it going\" with a stare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf hating things is your love language, this hat is fluent. It's not ironic. It's not a phase. You genuinely love hating, and now your head can finally say so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your patience)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for when your contempt runs hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most heads full of grievances\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays sharp without fading or flaking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePolyester\/nylon build\u003c\/strong\u003e that handles daily wear without falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best, actually. Everyone knows someone who runs on spite and iced coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand them the I Love Hating hat and watch their eyes light up for possibly the first time all year. It's the kind of gift that says \"I see you, and I respect the darkness.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured polyester foam front with mesh back panels. Lightweight, breathable, and built for daily wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is printed directly into the material so it stays sharp without fading or flaking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If HR already has a file on you, this hat probably won't make it worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012844720210,"sku":"3138608_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012844785746,"sku":"3138608_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012844752978,"sku":"3138608_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Hating_Funny_Sayings_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_Crazy_Mesh_Hat.jpg?v=1762481905"},{"product_id":"i-eat-drywall-funny-weird-trucker-hat","title":"I Eat Drywall Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Eat Drywall Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people whose sense of humor peaked somewhere between \"chaotic\" and \"concerning.\" It says what it says. You either get it or you're Googling it right now, and both outcomes are funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears a hat that says I Eat Drywall?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eContractors, gym bros, and anyone who peaked in a group chat. This is the hat equivalent of a personality test nobody asked you to take.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone at Home Depot nods at you while you're wearing this, that's your new best friend. You don't choose the drywall life, but you can certainly advertise it on your forehead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e that hold the absurdity upright\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head gets airflow even when your decisions don't deserve respect\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most skulls, even the thick ones\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted design that holds up\u003c\/strong\u003e through washes and questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved brim\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I swear I'm normal\" silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough to insult them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBirthday, White Elephant, \"sorry about what I said at Thanksgiving,\" whatever the occasion. The I Eat Drywall Hat works because it requires no explanation and offers none. Hand it over. Watch their face. That's the whole gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Eat Drywall Hat fit big heads?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe snapback closure adjusts to fit most head sizes. If your head is truly enormous, you probably already know which hats work for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design holds up through regular washes. Skip the bleach, don't iron directly on the print, and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured front panels keep the design looking sharp. The mesh back is flexible for comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your boss has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, that sounds like a you problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012846719058,"sku":"4811494_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Eat_Drywall_Funny_Hats_For_Men_Weird_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_Front_View.jpg?v=1762481907"},{"product_id":"i-need-moral-support-oral-funny-trucker-hats","title":"I Need Moral Support Oral Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Need Moral Support Oral Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people whose coping mechanisms are, let's say, creative. Slap it on your head and let everyone at the bar piece it together on their own. No explanation needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This Hat?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in humor around age 14 and never looked back. This is the hat you throw on when subtlety has left the building entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friends will laugh. Your coworkers will have questions. HR might draft a very polite email. The bartender will pour you a double because they respect the commitment. Honestly, it filters people faster than a dating app bio.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape instead of going limp after a week\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back panels\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow (you'll need the ventilation when people start reading your hat)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads and most levels of poor judgment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays crisp and vibrant through regular washing, no cracking or fading\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, pre-curved so you don't have to pretend you're at a fitting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough that they won't block your number afterward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBachelor parties, birthdays, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. Father's Day if your dad is cool like that. Just make sure the recipient has the kind of sense of humor that doesn't come with a disclaimer attached.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat size is this trucker hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne size fits most. The adjustable snapback closure in the back handles the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The graphic is printed to last through regular washing without cracking, peeling, or losing color.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you value continued employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat material is the hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured foam front panel with breathable mesh back panels. Classic trucker hat build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck our return policy for the hat itself. The social consequences are on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Red","offer_id":42012851863634,"sku":"6910298_15906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012851896402,"sku":"6910298_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012851929170,"sku":"6910298_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012851961938,"sku":"6910298_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Need_Moral_Oral_Support_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat.jpg?v=1762481913"},{"product_id":"it-was-only-a-kiss-judas-betraying-jesus-funny-easter-t-shirt","title":"It Was Only A Kiss - Judas Betraying Jesus Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe It Was Only A Kiss tee from Unethical Threads takes the most dramatic betrayal in history and soundtracks it with The Killers. Judas, Jesus, and Mr. Brightside on one shirt. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who know every word to Mr. Brightside and also sat through enough Sunday school to catch the reference immediately. It's the overlap of 2000s karaoke energy and childhood religious education. The kind of person who shows up to Easter brunch looking for a reaction. If your family group chat has ever gone silent because of something you wore, this one's for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (Judas-level betrayal comes in all sizes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that doesn't fade or crack, which is more than you can say for most friendships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, so it fits the same on Easter and every Sunday after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly, and that's kind of the point. Look, if someone at your Easter gathering can't handle a Mr. Brightside and Bible crossover, they were going to find something to be upset about anyway. This shirt doesn't punch down. It punches sideways, at a 2,000-year-old story that literally everyone knows. Wear it with confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Mr. Brightside?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's the Judas-Jesus kiss meets The Killers' biggest hit. Two betrayals, one shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the It Was Only A Kiss tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your family. It's biblically accurate and musically on point. Whether that flies at your table is between you and your relatives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Follow the care instructions and it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who loves memes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf they've ever sent a Mr. Brightside meme or made a Judas joke, yes. This is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016954581074,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016954613842,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016954646610,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016954679378,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016954712146,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016954744914,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016954777682,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/It_Was_Only_A_Kiss_Judas_Betraying_Jesus_Funny_Easter_Christian_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"cant-breathalyze-meth-t-shirt-funny-offensive-meme-humor-tee","title":"Can't Breathalyze Meth Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Can't Breathalyze Meth Tee from Unethical Threads is for the kind of person who makes a room go quiet before it goes loud. It's unhinged. It's technically correct. And it's on a shirt now because nobody in our lives tells us no.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe same people who send memes in the group chat that get zero replies and one screenshot. Look, if your humor has ever made someone physically leave a conversation, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's not for everybody. That's the whole point. This is the kind of shirt that sorts people into two camps on sight, and you already know which one you're in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a napkin with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in. No cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with poor decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this going to offend people?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. If you're the type to worry about that, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe people who wear Unethical Threads already know the assignment. Everyone else can read it, process their feelings, and move on. You're not here to make friends. You're here to make a point, and the point is hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL. If you're between sizes, go with your usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing puts the ink directly into the fabric. The colors hold up, no cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on where you work and how attached you are to your employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you know someone whose humor could clear a building, yes. If you're not sure they'd laugh, that's your answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton, crew neck, built like an actual garment. Not a tissue-thin novelty tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42024354119762,"sku":"NoMetoo-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42024354152530,"sku":"NoMetoo-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42024354185298,"sku":"NoMetoo-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42024354218066,"sku":"NoMetoo-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42024354250834,"sku":"NoMetoo-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42024354283602,"sku":"NoMetoo-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42024354316370,"sku":"NoMetoo-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Can_t_Breathalyze_Meth_Funny_Gen_Z_Humor_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481966"},{"product_id":"i-love-miners-t-shirt-funny-minecraft-gen-z-humor-tee","title":"I Love Miners Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Miners tee from Unethical Threads takes a perfectly innocent gaming reference and lets your brain do the rest. Pixelated Minecraft design up front, plausible deniability nowhere to be found. You already know if this shirt is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGamers, degens, and people whose search history would make a therapist quit. This is the shirt you wear when you want to see who in the room is paying attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks great at family gatherings if you hate being invited to family gatherings. Also a certified hit in any group chat screenshot. Wear it to a Minecraft LAN party and become either the hero or the villain, no in-between.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin with a graphic on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e so yes, we got you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic. Nothing weird happening up top (just on the front)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, because surprises are for birthdays, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if your goal is making someone laugh, then immediately look around the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for white elephant exchanges, gamer birthdays, or anyone who thinks \"appropriate\" is more of a spectrum than a rule. Wrap it, hand it over, deny everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Love Miners shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Minecraft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is Minecraft-inspired. What you tell people it means is entirely your business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print lasts longer that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me weird looks?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42024746778706,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42024746811474,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42024746844242,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42024746877010,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42024746909778,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42024746942546,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42024746975314,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Miners_T_Shirt_Funny_Offensive_Minecraft_Tee.jpg?v=1762481966"},{"product_id":"im-fucking-stupid-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-matching-couples-tee","title":"I'm Fucking Stupid Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Fucking Stupid tee from Unethical Threads is the other half of the most honest couples shirt set on the internet. One of you wears \"I'm Stupid.\" The other wears this. We both know which one you're buying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho wears the \"I'm Fucking Stupid\" shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe one who lost the argument. Or the one who knows they're the reason the other person needs therapy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEither way, this is the self-aware pick in the matching set. You and your partner both know the truth. This shirt just makes it public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can handle your bad decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're classy like that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that won't quit before you do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable.\u003c\/strong\u003e Unlike your reputation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good couples gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best couples gift if your relationship runs on roasting each other.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePair it with the \"I'm Stupid\" tee and you've got the most honest matching set at any cookout, bar, or family gathering that's about to get uncomfortable. If your partner can't take the joke, that's a bigger problem than the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come with the matching \"I'm Stupid\" shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo, this listing is for the \"I'm Fucking Stupid\" tee only. The \"I'm Stupid\" shirt is sold separately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the I'm Fucking Stupid shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Wash inside out on cold and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this without the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. It works as a solo statement too. 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The I'm Stupid set works for anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or any occasion where you want to publicly acknowledge what everyone already knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this listing include both shirts?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is the I'm Stupid tee only. The I'm Fucking Stupid tee is sold separately so you can pick different sizes and colors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing process bonds ink directly into the fabric, so it holds up through the wash cycle without peeling or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this by itself without the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The I'm Stupid tee works perfectly fine as a solo confession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025731162194,"sku":"ImStupid-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025731194962,"sku":"ImStupid-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025731227730,"sku":"ImStupid-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025731260498,"sku":"ImStupid-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025731293266,"sku":"ImStupid-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025731326034,"sku":"ImStupid-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025731358802,"sku":"ImStupid-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025731391570,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025731424338,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025731457106,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025731489874,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025731522642,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025731555410,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025731588178,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Stupid_I_m_Fucking_Stupid_White_Shirt.png?v=1762481969"},{"product_id":"protect-the-dolls-t-shirt-pedro-pascal-save-transgender-tee","title":"Protect The Dolls Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Protect The Dolls tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who watched Pedro Pascal become the internet's protective dad and thought \"yeah, that's a whole identity.\" Trans rights, feminist energy, and the kind of feral loyalty that only chronically online people understand. Wear it like you mean it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't need the meme explained to them. If you've ever typed \"protect them at all costs\" in a group chat, congratulations, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt hits different at pride, at brunch, at the grocery store when you just need the world to know where you stand. The kind of shirt that finds its people without trying. You'll lock eyes with a stranger across the bar and just nod. That's the whole interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station tissue\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because gatekeeping sizes is embarrassing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I woke up like this\" energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't quietly abandon you after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSoft enough to sleep in\u003c\/strong\u003e (we won't judge)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes. 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Pedro just happens to be the patron saint of that energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough for all day, sturdy enough that it won't fall apart on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your HR department has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42029904035922,"sku":"ProDolls-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42029904068690,"sku":"ProDolls-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42029904101458,"sku":"ProDolls-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42029904134226,"sku":"ProDolls-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42029904166994,"sku":"ProDolls-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42029904199762,"sku":"ProDolls-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42029904232530,"sku":"ProDolls-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Protect_The_Dolls_Pedro_Pascal_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481982"},{"product_id":"are-you-asia-cuz-i-wanna-thai-you-up-shirt","title":"*NEW* Are You Asia Cuz I Wanna Thai You Up Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Are You Asia Cuz I Wanna Thai You Up tee from Unethical Threads is a geography pun crossed with a pickup line that has no business being on a shirt. And yet here we are. It's dumb, it's flirty, and you already know if this is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think puns are the highest form of comedy. Honestly, they might be right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one lands especially well at bars, travel meetups, and anywhere someone might appreciate the intersection of world geography and deeply questionable flirting. Your mom will hate it. 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It's less of a fashion choice and more of a public service announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can survive your worst nights out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because at least something about you should be classic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e that keeps its color longer than you keep your composure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e, which is good because you're going to need that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift. 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Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it, but it doesn't need much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about drugs?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's about whatever you need it to be about. We don't judge. That's kind of our whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a family event?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is a different question. Read the room, or don't. 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