{"title":"Funny Carolina Gamecock Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDiscover Unethical Threads' funny carolina gamecock shirts collection featuring bold, unapologetically funny designs. Each piece combines quality materials with humor that actually lands. Shop funny carolina gamecock shirts with confidence - sizes S-4XL, fast shipping, 30-day guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-carolina-gamecock-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-carolina-gamecock-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Carolina Gamecock Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-easter-shirt-ideas\"\u003eFunny Easter Shirt Ideas\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-t-shirt-pairs\"\u003eFunny T Shirt Pairs\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Carolina Gamecock Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-carolina-gamecock-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"spitters-are-quitters-funny-inappropriate-sayings-hat-for-men","title":"Spitters Are Quitters Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Spitters Are Quitters hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people who've already made their decision and have no interest in revisiting it. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't your section of the internet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with a sense of humor and absolutely no filter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the hat you throw on at the cookout when you want your father-in-law to quietly reconsider the entire marriage. It pairs well with a cold beer, a lawn chair, and complete disregard for polite company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel with mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow, because your head should stay cool even when the jokes land hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most heads, even the big ones full of terrible ideas\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHigh-quality printed graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't crack, peel, or fade on you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker hat silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e that works whether you're at the lake or at a bar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePairs well with\u003c\/strong\u003e questionable decisions and a refusal to grow up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely, if you actually know the person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a perfect gift for your buddy who says the thing everyone else is thinking. It's a terrible gift for your coworker you've spoken to exactly twice. Read the room, then ignore it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Spitters Are Quitters hat actually good quality?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Structured front, mesh back, snapback closure. It's a proper trucker hat, not some flimsy gas station impulse buy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the whole point. If you're worried about offending someone, this brand might not be for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes it fit big heads?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe adjustable snapback fits most head sizes. You're fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHand wash or spot clean. Don't throw it in the dryer unless you want a hat that fits your kid instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012851109970,"sku":"9409634_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012851077202,"sku":"9409634_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012851142738,"sku":"9409634_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Spitters_Are_Quitters_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481912"},{"product_id":"coming-out-of-my-cave-t-shirt-funny-jesus-easter-music-parody-tee","title":"Coming Out Of My Cave - Lyrics Jesus Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Coming Out Of My Cave tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when Mr. Brightside and the Easter story collide at full speed. Jesus, emerging from the tomb, set to the most dramatic lyrics of the 2000s. It's the crossover nobody asked for and everybody needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's ever heard Mr. Brightside at a party and immediately thought about the resurrection. So, a very specific and deeply unwell group of people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your sense of humor lives at the intersection of church camp and indie rock, this shirt was made for you. It plays just as well at Easter brunch as it does at a concert where you're three beers deep and feeling spiritual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after three washes like that shirt you got at a youth group retreat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because not everything needs to be complicated\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in even after your mom insists on washing it in hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with cargo shorts, communion wine, and poor life decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot really. It's more \"confuse your pastor\" than \"get kicked out of church.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe beauty of Coming Out Of My Cave is that it works on multiple levels. Music fans get the Mr. Brightside reference. Church people get the Easter bit. And the people who get both? Those are your people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt just for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. The resurrection is eternal and so is Mr. Brightside. Wear it year-round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Coming Out Of My Cave tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. Colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good Easter gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf the person you're buying for has ever sung Mr. Brightside at karaoke and also went to Sunday school, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019374727250,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019374760018,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019374792786,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019374825554,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019374858322,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019374891090,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019374923858,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Coming_Out_Of_My_Cave_Jesus_Easter_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481929"},{"product_id":"jesus-is-rizzen-rizz-easter-t-shirt","title":"Jesus Has Rizzen Rizz Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Jesus Has Rizzen tee from Unethical Threads. Because \"He is Risen\" was begging for a Gen Z rebrand. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, and the kind of Easter energy your youth pastor wishes they had.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChurch kids with a sense of humor. Youth pastors trying to stay relevant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour cousin who posts memes in the family group chat and never apologizes. The friend who shows up to Easter brunch already wearing the joke everyone else was too scared to say out loud. If you've ever sat through a sunrise service thinking \"this needs more rizz,\" congratulations, you found your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a gas station freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic, no surprises\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay locked in wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, He looks that good on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone at church?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. But they'll laugh first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt lives in the sweet spot where irreverent meets reverent. You're not mocking anything. You're just pointing out that the greatest comeback in history deserved better branding. Most people will read it, pause, and then hit you with the slow nod of respect. The rest weren't going to like you anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Jesus Has Rizzen shirt blasphemous?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you think Jesus wouldn't appreciate a good pun. This tee sits firmly in the \"laughing with Him\" category.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on everybody.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing bonds the ink into the fabric. It holds up through washes without cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this just for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it year-round. Rizz is not seasonal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a relaxed, comfortable fit. No thin, see-through nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019992076370,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019992109138,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019992141906,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019992174674,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019992207442,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019992240210,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019992272978,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Jesus_Has_Rizzen_Funny_Easter_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481929"},{"product_id":"horny-hungry-hopeless-new-york-yankees-logo-t-shirt-funny-new-york-yankees-meme-tee","title":"Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee from Unethical Threads is three moods, one logo, and zero coping mechanisms. The Yankees NY sits right inside \"Horny\" where, let's be honest, it was always meant to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYankees fans who've accepted that the team is a lifestyle and not a healthy one. Anyone who's described their entire personality as \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" and meant all three at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't ironic. It's a confession on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a napkin after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for job interviews\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't bail after the first spin cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your commitment issues are your problem, not the shirt's.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a Yankees fan?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. For the Yankees fan in your life who has no filter and fewer boundaries. The friend who texts \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" at 2 AM like it's a weather report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it in tissue paper or don't. The shirt does the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the shirt actually have the Yankees logo on it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design uses a stylized NY that references the iconic Yankees look. It's a parody, not officially licensed MLB merch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Horny Hungry Hopeless tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's preshrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Yankees product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is an Unethical Threads original. Parody, not endorsed by MLB or the New York Yankees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print can handle it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42027405705298,"sku":"HHHope-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42027405738066,"sku":"HHHope-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42027405770834,"sku":"HHHope-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42027405803602,"sku":"HHHope-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42027405836370,"sku":"HHHope-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42027405869138,"sku":"HHHope-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42027405901906,"sku":"HHHope-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Horny_Hungry_Hopeless_New_York_Yankees_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481977"},{"product_id":"trade-wars-trump-xi-tariff-t-shirt-meme-shirt","title":"*NEW* Trade Wars Trump Xi Tariff Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Trade Wars Trump Xi Tariff Tee from Unethical Threads is the unholy crossover nobody requested and everybody needed. Trump, Xi, and Trudeau in full Star Wars gear, lightsabers drawn over import duties. Because if the global economy is going to implode, it might as well look cinematic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears a Trade Wars shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who can laugh at all sides and have a deep appreciation for terrible puns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever explained trade policy using movie references or sent a tariff meme to a group chat at 2 AM, this is your uniform. It hits whether you're Team Red, Team Blue, or Team \"I Just Think It's Funny.\" Nobody is safe on this tee, and that's exactly why it works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a dryer sheet with a collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, because freedom has no size limit)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors don't bail after two washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs nicely with unsolicited opinions at Thanksgiving dinner\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift without starting a political argument?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, this might be the only political shirt that doesn't start a fistfight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Trade Wars tee roasts everyone equally, which makes it weirdly diplomatic for something this unhinged. Works for the friend who live-tweets press conferences and the one who only follows politics through memes. Both will get it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Trade Wars tee pick a political side?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It roasts everyone equally. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in for the long haul. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to be extra about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Star Wars product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. This is a parody. Lucasfilm did not sign off on this, and frankly we think that's funnier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a family dinner?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can wear it anywhere. 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LGBTQ pride meets French bakery wordplay on a shirt with absolutely no chill. If you need it explained, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think the intersection of bread puns and queer joy is peak comedy. The kind of person who'd rock this at Pride, at brunch, or at Thanksgiving dinner just to watch an uncle quietly Google something under the table. 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It's the funniest thing you can hand a Coca-Cola fan who doesn't scare easily.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDark humor lovers, meme-fluent coworkers, the friend who always takes the joke one step too far. If you know someone who'd read \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola\" and immediately say \"where do I buy this,\" you already know this is the move. Birthday, holiday, gag gift exchange, whatever. It lands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola shirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt runs unisex relaxed fit. If you want it fitted, go with your normal size. If you want that oversized look, size up one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you wear it and how fast you can run. We've seen everything from laughs to horrified double takes. Wear at your own risk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printed directly into the fabric. The colors won't crack, peel, or fade into a sad ghost of themselves after a few washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if my family disowns me?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe have a return policy, but we can't return your family's respect. Check our return page for the details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come in kids' sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. And given the subject matter, that's probably for the best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42140160950354,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42140160983122,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42140161015890,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42140161048658,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42140161081426,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42140161114194,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42140161146962,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Coca_Cola_Funny_Graphic_Gift_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1757010792"},{"product_id":"tylenol-extra-autism-parody-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Tylenol Extra Autism Parody Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Tylenol Extra Autism parody tee from Unethical Threads takes that viral conspiracy theory and puts it right on your chest. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose group chats have a body count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe kind of person whose humor runs dark enough that their friends stopped being surprised years ago. If your sense of humor has ever made a therapist pause and scribble something down, welcome home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're unhinged, not animals\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk fabric, same fit after every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. That's sort of the entire point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you're shopping at a store called Unethical Threads expecting grandma-approved apparel, you may have taken a wrong turn somewhere. This one's for people who laugh at things they probably shouldn't, and have made peace with that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Tylenol product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is a parody tee. Tylenol has nothing to do with this, and we're pretty sure they'd prefer to keep it that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone who'd think this is funny, absolutely. If you have to wonder whether they'd be offended, maybe stick with a gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually cause autism?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's a shirt. Come on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42159198044242,"sku":"EATism-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42159198077010,"sku":"EATism-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42159198109778,"sku":"EATism-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42159198142546,"sku":"EATism-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42159198175314,"sku":"EATism-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42159198208082,"sku":"EATism-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42159198240850,"sku":"EATism-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Tylenol_Extra_Autism_Meme_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1758751870"},{"product_id":"are-you-from-japan-cuz-i-wanna-get-in-japanties-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Are You From Japan - Japanties Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eNEW\u003c\/em\u003e Are You From Japan - Japanties Tee is Unethical Threads putting the worst pickup line you've ever heard on heavyweight cotton. It's stupid. It's juvenile. You already know you want it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose friends already expect the worst from them. This is the shirt for whoever takes it one step too far in the group chat, the one who sends the joke everyone's thinking but nobody says out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the bar, a cookout, or anywhere you want someone to slowly shake their head at you. Pairs well with confidence and a complete lack of shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt you'd choose to wear, not a gas station freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because terrible taste comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e keeping it simple so the shirt can do the heavy lifting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that holds up wash after wash (the joke isn't fading even if your dignity does)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I actually wear this in public?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. Strategically, that's between you and your comfort level. Someone's grandma is going to read it out loud at the grocery store and you'll just have to stand there. Totally worth it. If you're shopping at Unethical Threads, you already know what you signed up for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Japanties tee a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your friend has a terrible sense of humor and no filter, this is the perfect gift. If they're easily offended, maybe grab a candle instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size, so grab your usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The DTG print bonds ink directly into the fabric, so the design holds up wash after wash. No cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually comfortable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. It's a real shirt, not some flimsy novelty tee you'll wear once and toss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42160665657426,"sku":"Japanties-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42160665690194,"sku":"Japanties-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42160665722962,"sku":"Japanties-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42160665755730,"sku":"Japanties-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160665788498,"sku":"Japanties-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160665821266,"sku":"Japanties-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160665854034,"sku":"Japanties-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42160665886802,"sku":"Japanties-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42160665919570,"sku":"Japanties-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42160665952338,"sku":"Japanties-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42160665985106,"sku":"Japanties-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160666017874,"sku":"Japanties-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160666050642,"sku":"Japanties-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160666083410,"sku":"Japanties-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Are_You_From_Japan_Cuz_I_Wanna_Get_In_Your_Japanties_Shirt.jpg?v=1758826036"},{"product_id":"dr-pepper-powered-fuck-machine-funny-soda-humor-tee","title":"Dr Pepper Powered Fuck Machine Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Dr Pepper Powered Fuck Machine Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. If your entire personality runs on 23 flavors and bad decisions, this is the shirt that finally says it out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who have replaced water with Dr Pepper and aren't sorry about it. The kind of person whose fridge has a dedicated Dr Pepper shelf, whose coworkers know not to touch the mini fridge stash, and who considers \"it's 10 AM\" to be a perfectly fine time for their fourth one. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it costs more than your soda habit (it doesn't)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because even degenerates have standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print for color that won't bail after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable. 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