{"title":"Funny Coach Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnethical Threads presents our funny coach shirts collection - where offensive meets fashionable. Each design delivers laughs and premium comfort. Shop funny coach shirts today - sizes S-4XL, 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-coach-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-coach-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Coach Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/mens-funny-beer-t-shirts\"\u003eMens Funny Beer T Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-mom-and-daughter-shirts\"\u003eFunny Mom And Daughter Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Coach Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-coach-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"blackout-with-your-rack-out-funny-drinking-inappropriate-trucker-hat","title":"Blackout With Your Rack Out Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Blackout With Your Rack Out hat is an Unethical Threads trucker hat for people who treat day drinking like a competitive sport. Structured front, mesh back, and a slogan your mother will pretend she didn't read at Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe person at the tailgate who peaked in confidence three beers ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat pairs well with bad decisions, boat shoes you've never worn on a boat, and the kind of Sunday that starts at 10 AM and ends with a Lyft ride you don't remember requesting. It's not a cry for help. It's a lifestyle announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with classic trucker mesh back. Breathable enough for your hottest takes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most heads, even the swollen ones.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant printed graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade after your memory does.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOne size fits most.\u003c\/strong\u003e If it doesn't fit, that's between you and your head.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex design.\u003c\/strong\u003e Bad decisions don't discriminate.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the gift that says \"I know you\" without saying \"I respect you.\" Perfect for bachelor parties, birthdays, or anyone who's ever texted \"on my way\" while still in bed. Wrap it or don't. The hat speaks for itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. That's kind of the point. If \"Blackout With Your Rack Out\" makes someone clutch their pearls, they were never your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured foam front panels with breathable mesh back and an adjustable snapback closure. One size fits most.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print hold up?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The graphic is printed to last through washes, sweat, and whatever else you put this hat through.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your job. If you work at a brewery, absolutely. If you work at a law firm, maybe on casual Friday when you're quitting anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat unisex?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Bad decisions don't discriminate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":42012846456914,"sku":"4023687_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red","offer_id":42012846489682,"sku":"4023687_15906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Blackout_With_Your_Rack_Out_Funny_Inappropriate_Drinking_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481907"},{"product_id":"jesus-is-rizzen-rizz-easter-t-shirt","title":"Jesus Has Rizzen Rizz Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Jesus Has Rizzen tee from Unethical Threads. Because \"He is Risen\" was begging for a Gen Z rebrand. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, and the kind of Easter energy your youth pastor wishes they had.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChurch kids with a sense of humor. Youth pastors trying to stay relevant.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour cousin who posts memes in the family group chat and never apologizes. The friend who shows up to Easter brunch already wearing the joke everyone else was too scared to say out loud. If you've ever sat through a sunrise service thinking \"this needs more rizz,\" congratulations, you found your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a gas station freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic, no surprises\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay locked in wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, He looks that good on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone at church?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. But they'll laugh first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt lives in the sweet spot where irreverent meets reverent. You're not mocking anything. You're just pointing out that the greatest comeback in history deserved better branding. Most people will read it, pause, and then hit you with the slow nod of respect. The rest weren't going to like you anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Jesus Has Rizzen shirt blasphemous?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you think Jesus wouldn't appreciate a good pun. This tee sits firmly in the \"laughing with Him\" category.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on everybody.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing bonds the ink into the fabric. It holds up through washes without cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this just for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it year-round. Rizz is not seasonal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a relaxed, comfortable fit. No thin, see-through nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019992076370,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019992109138,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019992141906,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019992174674,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019992207442,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019992240210,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019992272978,"sku":"JRizzen-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Jesus_Has_Rizzen_Funny_Easter_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481929"},{"product_id":"i-come-in-peace-t-shirt-funny-matching-couples-im-tee","title":"I Come In Peace Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Come In Peace tee from Unethical Threads is one half of the least subtle couples set on the internet. You wear this. Your person wears the I'm Peace tee. The joke lands before you even sit down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes it come with the matching shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The I Come In Peace tee and the I'm Peace tee are sold separately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGrab both, hand one to your partner, and let the joke do its thing. It's the kind of matching outfit that says \"we're fun\" instead of \"we share a login to everything.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, because everyone deserves to make bad jokes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the graphic won't crack, peel, or ghost after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs with the I'm Peace tee, sold separately, because we're not running a charity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good couples gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know the couple, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuy both tees, throw them in a gift bag, and become the most legendary gift-giver at any shower, anniversary, or random Tuesday. Just make sure the recipients can take a joke. Actually, make sure their parents can take a joke too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Come In Peace shirt come with the I'm Peace shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo, they're sold separately. Grab both for the full effect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe graphic is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so it won't crack, peel, or fade into a sad ghost of itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this without the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOf course. It's still a funny shirt on its own. The matching set just turns it up to eleven.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025732079698,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025732112466,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025732145234,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025732178002,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025732210770,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025732243538,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025732276306,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025732309074,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025732341842,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025732374610,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025732407378,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025732440146,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025732472914,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025732505682,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Come_In_Peace_I_m_Peace_Funny_Couples_White_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481969"},{"product_id":"tung-tung-tung-sahur-italian-brainrot-meme-t-shirt","title":"Tung Tung Tung Sahur Italian Brainrot Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Tung Tung Tung Sahur Italian Brainrot Tee from Unethical Threads is for people whose sense of humor was permanently rewired by the internet. If you know the chant, you know. If you don't, this shirt isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe chronically online. The ones who hear the cursed chant in their sleep and genuinely believe Italian brainrot is a legitimate cultural movement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour screen time report is horrifying and you've accepted that. This shirt is the uniform for people who stopped trying to explain their humor to coworkers three memes ago. You don't need context. You are the context.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like an actual shirt, not a gas station freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we have some standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors outlast your attention span\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e because surprises belong in memes, not laundry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person you're buying for has ever sent you a brainrot clip at 2AM, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift for someone who's too far gone and proud of it. If they have to Google what Tung Tung Tung Sahur means, save your money and get them a candle or something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Tung Tung Tung Sahur mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you have to ask, you might not be ready for this shirt. It's from the Italian brainrot corner of the internet. You either get it or you don't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it's not going anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on that falls apart after three washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically yes. The real question is whether anyone around you will understand it. That's their problem, not yours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42030158118994,"sku":"TungTung-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42030158151762,"sku":"TungTung-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42030158184530,"sku":"TungTung-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42030158217298,"sku":"TungTung-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42030158250066,"sku":"TungTung-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42030158282834,"sku":"TungTung-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42030158315602,"sku":"TungTung-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Tung_Tung_Tung_Sahur_Italian_Brainrot_Meme_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482000"},{"product_id":"chewy-the-raccoon-meth-pipe-funny-news-viral-meme-tee","title":"*NEW* Chewy The Raccoon Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Chewy The Raccoon Tee from Unethical Threads is the only appropriate response to a raccoon getting busted with a meth pipe on live television. If you saw that story and your first thought was \"I need that on a shirt,\" congratulations, you're our people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who watched the Chewy news segment and immediately sent it to every group chat they're in. The overlap between \"follows local news for the chaos\" and \"owns too many graphic tees\" is a perfect circle, and you're standing in the middle of it. This isn't for people who need the joke explained. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a costume\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, we don't gatekeep)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're keeping at least one thing traditional here\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid through every wash, no cracking, no peeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, so what you order is what you get\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift for the friend who texted you the Chewy story at 2 AM. Birthdays, white elephants, \"I saw this and thought of you\" moments. This is a shirt that says you pay attention to what actually makes someone laugh, not just what's safe. Fair warning: your coworkers might have questions at the next casual Friday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat is the Chewy The Raccoon shirt about?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's based on the viral news story about Chewy, the raccoon found with a meth pipe. The internet lost its mind, and we turned it into a tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in. No cracking, no peeling, no fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on how you feel about raccoons and questionable life choices. It's funny, not mean. But know your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt material like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Feels substantial, not flimsy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42042644987986,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42042645020754,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42042645053522,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42042645086290,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42042645119058,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42042645151826,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42042645184594,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Chewy_The_Raccoon_Meth_Pipe_Viral_News_Meme_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482092"},{"product_id":"fag-cigarette-pride-month-lgbtq-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Fag Cigarette Pride Month Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Fag Cigarette Pride Month Tee from Unethical Threads is a rainbow cigarette pack on your chest for Pride Month. It's British, it's queer, and it's going to make at least one person at brunch do a double take.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think Pride Month could use a little more nicotine. This tee lands with the LGBTQ crowd that refuses to be precious about language, Gen Z double-entendre collectors, and anyone whose allyship strategy includes making coworkers visibly uncomfortable in June. If your friend group has a group chat that would get you all fired, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a screen print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (we know, groundbreaking)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed directly into the fabric, so the colors stay vivid long after your coworkers stop speaking to you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size. When in doubt, size up.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this get me in trouble?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point. Whether your HR department sees the humor is between you and God. This shirt splits a room in half, which is the sweet spot for any piece of clothing worth owning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually a Pride shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's got rainbow colors and it says fag on it. You tell us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Fag Cigarette tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnisex S through 4XL in a relaxed fit. Runs true to size, but size up if you're between sizes or like a looser look.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print hold up after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is DTG printed directly into the fabric. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people, yes. That's never stopped us before and it's not going to start now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you're confident the recipient won't cry. Know your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42060063211602,"sku":"BowCig-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42060063244370,"sku":"BowCig-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42060063277138,"sku":"BowCig-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42060063309906,"sku":"BowCig-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42060063342674,"sku":"BowCig-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42060063375442,"sku":"BowCig-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42060063408210,"sku":"BowCig-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42060063440978,"sku":"BowCig-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42060063473746,"sku":"BowCig-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42060063506514,"sku":"BowCig-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42060063539282,"sku":"BowCig-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42060063572050,"sku":"BowCig-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42060063604818,"sku":"BowCig-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42060063637586,"sku":"BowCig-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Fag_Cigarette_Pride_Funny_LGBTQ_T_Shirt.png?v=1762482113"},{"product_id":"think-outside-the-box-funny-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Think Outside \"The Box\" Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Think Outside \"The Box\" Tee from Unethical Threads takes a tired corporate catchphrase and sends it exactly where your mind already went. This is a shirt for people who heard \"think outside the box\" in a meeting and took it somewhere HR can't follow. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't need a creativity seminar. They just need a pillow and some privacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever been told you have a one-track mind and took it as a compliment, congrats, this is your uniform. It pairs well with poor decisions and zero shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a see-through napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDirect-to-garment printed, so the colors stay locked in, not cracking off like cheap iron-ons\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk. What you order is what you get.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the friend who always takes it too far, the partner who appreciates a visual aid, or that one coworker you're quietly trying to get uninvited from the holiday party. Wrap it. Hand it over. Enjoy the ugly-laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk, so what you order is what you get. Same fit after washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The direct-to-garment printing puts the ink into the fabric, not on top of it. It holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. We're not your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42065546510418,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42065546543186,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42065546575954,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42065546608722,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42065546641490,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42065546674258,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42065546707026,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42065546739794,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42065546772562,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42065546805330,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42065546838098,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42065546870866,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42065546903634,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42065546936402,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/It_s_Hard_To_Think_Outside_The_Box_When_My_Face_Is_Always_Buried_In_It_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482121"},{"product_id":"onlyfangs-t-shirt-funny-halloween-parody-tee","title":"Onlyfangs Halloween Parody Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Onlyfangs Halloween Parody Tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who saw that logo and immediately thought of something with more bite. A vampire-themed parody that lands somewhere between spooky season and \"I can't believe you wore that.\" You already know what it's referencing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in October. The friend who shows up to the Halloween party in something nobody can post on Instagram.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your sense of humor comes with a content warning, the Onlyfangs tee is basically your uniform. It works at costume parties, horror movie nights, or just a regular Tuesday when you want people to give you a wide berth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a blood drive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the design stays sharp and the colors don't bail after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with fake blood and poor life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone whose humor skews \"probably shouldn't post that,\" absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift that says \"I get you\" without saying much else. If the recipient clutches pearls at puns, maybe get them a candle instead. The Onlyfangs tee is for people who laugh at the things they probably shouldn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Onlyfangs tee only for Halloween?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically it's a Halloween parody, but nobody's stopping you from wearing it year-round. Vampires don't have a season.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so it holds up wash after wash without cracking or peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually funny or just edgy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth. That's the sweet spot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42153643147346,"sku":"OFangs-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42153643180114,"sku":"OFangs-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42153643212882,"sku":"OFangs-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42153643245650,"sku":"OFangs-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42153643278418,"sku":"OFangs-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42153643311186,"sku":"OFangs-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42153643343954,"sku":"OFangs-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Onlyfangs_TShirt_Funny_Halloween_Parody_Tee.jpg?v=1758061140"},{"product_id":"tylenol-extra-autism-parody-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Tylenol Extra Autism Parody Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Tylenol Extra Autism parody tee from Unethical Threads takes that viral conspiracy theory and puts it right on your chest. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose group chats have a body count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe kind of person whose humor runs dark enough that their friends stopped being surprised years ago. If your sense of humor has ever made a therapist pause and scribble something down, welcome home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're unhinged, not animals\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk fabric, same fit after every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. That's sort of the entire point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you're shopping at a store called Unethical Threads expecting grandma-approved apparel, you may have taken a wrong turn somewhere. This one's for people who laugh at things they probably shouldn't, and have made peace with that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Tylenol product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is a parody tee. Tylenol has nothing to do with this, and we're pretty sure they'd prefer to keep it that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone who'd think this is funny, absolutely. If you have to wonder whether they'd be offended, maybe stick with a gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually cause autism?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's a shirt. Come on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42159198044242,"sku":"EATism-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42159198077010,"sku":"EATism-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42159198109778,"sku":"EATism-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42159198142546,"sku":"EATism-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42159198175314,"sku":"EATism-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42159198208082,"sku":"EATism-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42159198240850,"sku":"EATism-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Tylenol_Extra_Autism_Meme_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1758751870"},{"product_id":"i-had-cybersex-with-chatgpt-funny-inappropriate-shirt","title":"I Had Cybersex With Chatgpt Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Had Cybersex With ChatGPT tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A confession nobody asked for, printed on heavyweight cotton. If your relationship with AI has crossed a line you can't quite explain to your therapist, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've spent too long in a ChatGPT session at 2 AM and came out different. Tech workers, terminally online degenerates, and anyone whose browser history should probably be sealed by a court.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know who you are. The rest of us know too, because you're wearing the shirt. Honestly, we respect the transparency.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a hackathon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e for when you want to look normal from the neck up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the confession stays crisp wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, the AI consented (probably)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift for someone who won't shut up about AI.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friend who talks to ChatGPT more than actual humans? This. Your coworker who keeps saying \"I asked my AI about that\"? Also this. It's cheaper than an intervention and way funnier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Wash it however you want.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e That's kind of the point. If everyone at the table laughs, you need a funnier table.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e DTG printing locks the ink into the fabric. It holds up through the wash cycle better than your dignity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCan I actually have cybersex with ChatGPT?\u003c\/strong\u003e We sell shirts, not tech support. But we're not here to judge.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42160657301586,"sku":"CyberChat-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42160657334354,"sku":"CyberChat-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42160657367122,"sku":"CyberChat-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42160657399890,"sku":"CyberChat-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160657432658,"sku":"CyberChat-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160657465426,"sku":"CyberChat-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160657498194,"sku":"CyberChat-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42160657530962,"sku":"CyberChat-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42160657563730,"sku":"CyberChat-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42160657596498,"sku":"CyberChat-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42160657629266,"sku":"CyberChat-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160657662034,"sku":"CyberChat-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160657694802,"sku":"CyberChat-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160657727570,"sku":"CyberChat-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Had_Cybersex_With_Chatgpt_Black_Shirt.jpg?v=1758825399"},{"product_id":"dr-pepper-powered-fuck-machine-funny-soda-humor-tee","title":"Dr Pepper Powered Fuck Machine Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Dr Pepper Powered Fuck Machine Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. If your entire personality runs on 23 flavors and bad decisions, this is the shirt that finally says it out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who have replaced water with Dr Pepper and aren't sorry about it. The kind of person whose fridge has a dedicated Dr Pepper shelf, whose coworkers know not to touch the mini fridge stash, and who considers \"it's 10 AM\" to be a perfectly fine time for their fourth one. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it costs more than your soda habit (it doesn't)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because even degenerates have standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print for color that won't bail after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable. Your Dr Pepper addiction, unfortunately, is not.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. If someone in your life won't shut up about Dr Pepper, this is the gift that validates their whole identity. It works for birthdays, holidays, or just a random Tuesday where you want to make someone's week. Fair warning: they will wear it constantly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually have anything to do with Dr Pepper the brand?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. This is a parody humor tee. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by Dr Pepper or any beverage company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Dr Pepper Powered Fuck Machine Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, and 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe DTG print is designed to hold up. Wash inside out on cold, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your definition of appropriate. We'd wear it to brunch. Your mileage may vary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42168223400018,"sku":"DPPFM-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42168223432786,"sku":"DPPFM-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42168223465554,"sku":"DPPFM-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42168223498322,"sku":"DPPFM-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42168223531090,"sku":"DPPFM-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42168223563858,"sku":"DPPFM-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42168223596626,"sku":"DPPFM-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42168223629394,"sku":"DPPFM-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42168223662162,"sku":"DPPFM-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42168223694930,"sku":"DPPFM-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42168223727698,"sku":"DPPFM-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42168223760466,"sku":"DPPFM-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42168223793234,"sku":"DPPFM-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42168223826002,"sku":"DPPFM-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Dr_Pepper_Powered_Fuck_Machine_T-Shirt.jpg?v=1759527052"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/collections\/Funny_Coach_Shirts.jpg?v=1761607410","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/funny-coach-shirts.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}