{"title":"Funny Mechanic Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnethical Threads presents our funny mechanic shirts collection - where offensive meets fashionable. Each design delivers laughs and premium comfort. Shop funny mechanic shirts today - sizes S-4XL, 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-mechanic-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-mechanic-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Mechanic Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-american-shirt\"\u003eFunny American Shirt\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-halloween-shirts-near-me\"\u003eFunny Halloween Shirts Near Me\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Mechanic Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-mechanic-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"diet-cunt-funny-inappropriate-soda-humor-trucker-hat","title":"Diet Cunt Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Diet Cunt Hat by Unethical Threads is a soda parody trucker hat for people who like their humor carbonated and their headwear loud. If you've ever looked at a Diet Coke can and thought \"close, but not quite,\" this is your hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with zero interest in playing it safe at the barbecue. Your fantasy football league buddy, the girl at the tailgate everyone gravitates toward, the coworker who makes HR nervous on casual Friday. If you treat your hat rack like a comedy set list, the Diet Cunt Hat is your closer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps its shape, because a floppy trucker hat is just a sad visor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't turn into a greenhouse by noon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most head sizes, no excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFull-color print\u003c\/strong\u003e on the front panel that holds up through sun, sweat, and regrettable decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, ready to wear straight out of the bag (we know you're not patient enough to shape it yourself)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one of the best gifts you can give under $30. The kind where they open it, pause for a second, then laugh so hard they forget to say thank you. Works for birthdays, bachelor parties, white elephants, or just \"I saw this and thought of you\" situations. That last one hits different anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Diet Cunt Hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFull-color digital print on the front panel. It holds up through regular wear and washing without cracking or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you're willing to own the room. Some rooms are easier than others.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012842852434,"sku":"1743497_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012842917970,"sku":"1743497_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012842885202,"sku":"1743497_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Diet_Cunt_Funny_Crazy_Soda_Parody_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481903"},{"product_id":"im-not-a-gynecologist-but-ill-take-a-look-funny-inappropriate-trucker-hat","title":"I'm Not A Gynecologist But I'll Take A Look Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Not A Gynecologist But I'll Take A Look hat from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A trucker hat for the guy who peaked in med school pickup lines and never looked back. Structured front panel, mesh back, and enough audacity to clear a waiting room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGuys who think being inappropriate is a personality trait (and honestly, they're not wrong).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat lives at barbecues, bachelor parties, and anywhere the dress code is \"questionable at best.\" If your friend group has a designated \"too much\" guy, this is his hat. If you don't have that guy, congrats. It's you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your reputation after wearing this)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e, because your head deserves ventilation even if your humor doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads, no excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid, durable print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays sharp wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved brim\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic trucker profile\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you can give someone you're not trying to impress.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFather's Day, white elephant, birthday for the friend who already has everything except boundaries. Just don't expect a thank you card from his wife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this hat come in different colors?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck the product options above for available color combinations. Each one pairs nicely with poor judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you wear it and how easily your HR department gets offended. We just make the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The snapback closure fits most head sizes, so no excuses.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash this hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand wash cold, air dry. Treat it better than you treat first dates.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012848324690,"sku":"6455830_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Not_A_Gynecologist_But_I_ll_Take_A_Look_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat.jpg?v=1762481910"},{"product_id":"weiner-rides-25-cents-funny-inappropriate-crazy-trucker-hat-sayings","title":"Weiner Rides 25 Cents Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Weiner Rides 25 Cents hat from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A funny trucker hat for people who think cheap thrills should be advertised on your head. Pair it with sunburns, bad decisions, and a total lack of shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Wearing This Hat?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in fun, not in high school.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Weiner Rides 25 Cents hat is for the guy at the cookout already manning the grill, beer in hand, making jokes nobody asked for but everybody needed. It's also weirdly popular as a gift, which says a lot about the kind of friends you keep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel with mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e (your forehead sweats, we get it)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSnapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I've worn this hat every weekend for three years\" look\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up through sun, sweat, and questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex.\u003c\/strong\u003e Degeneracy has no gender.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the perfect gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life would laugh at a hat that says Weiner Rides 25 Cents, you already know they need it. Father's Day, bachelor parties, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. It's the gift that says \"I know exactly who you are and I support it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes. One size, many bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on where you wear it. Church? Probably. Tailgate? You'll be a hero.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your HR department's sense of humor. We're not liable either way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for Father's Day?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf your dad laughs at inappropriate jokes (and let's be honest, he taught you most of them), then yes. Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":42158478032978,"sku":"4311655_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/4a2d42e0-9af5-424a-bf95-590df0500f6b.png?v=1762481914"},{"product_id":"master-baiter-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-fishing-fish-adult-humor-tee","title":"*NEW* Master Baiter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eMaster Baiter Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e from Unethical Threads is a fishing shirt for anyone who's spent a suspicious amount of time with a rod in their hand. It says exactly what you think it says, and no, we will not be apologizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFishermen. Dads. People whose sense of humor peaked at 14 and never looked back (that's a compliment). If you saw this and immediately thought of a specific person, that's the guy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuy it for yourself or buy it for them. Either way, someone's wearing this to a family barbecue and it's going to be a whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper handout from a 5K you didn't finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for people with something to prove\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay loud through every wash. Your joke won't fade even if your dignity already has.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same on day one and day one hundred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best. The Master Baiter Tee is the kind of gag gift that actually gets worn, not shoved in a drawer after the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFather's Day, bachelor parties, birthdays, or the classic \"I saw this and thought of you.\" Works for anyone with a sense of humor and optional access to a body of water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Order your normal size unless you want that extra-baggy fishing guide energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing bonds ink directly into the fabric, so colors hold up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. It says \"Master Baiter\" and has a fish on it. You're just really passionate about fishing. What people read into that is on them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. Works for Father's Day, bachelor parties, birthdays, or anytime you want to remind someone you know them a little too well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on where you work. Bait shop? Absolutely. Corporate office? That's between you and HR.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016018071634,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016018104402,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016018137170,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016018169938,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016018202706,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016018235474,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016018268242,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42016018301010,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42016018333778,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42016018366546,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42016018399314,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016018432082,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016018464850,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016018497618,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Master_Baiter_T_Shirt_Funny_Inappropriate_Fishing_Fish_Adult_Humor_Black_Tee.jpg?v=1762481925"},{"product_id":"cant-breathalyze-meth-t-shirt-funny-offensive-meme-humor-tee","title":"Can't Breathalyze Meth Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Can't Breathalyze Meth Tee from Unethical Threads is for the kind of person who makes a room go quiet before it goes loud. It's unhinged. It's technically correct. And it's on a shirt now because nobody in our lives tells us no.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe same people who send memes in the group chat that get zero replies and one screenshot. Look, if your humor has ever made someone physically leave a conversation, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's not for everybody. That's the whole point. This is the kind of shirt that sorts people into two camps on sight, and you already know which one you're in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a napkin with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in. No cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with poor decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this going to offend people?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. If you're the type to worry about that, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe people who wear Unethical Threads already know the assignment. Everyone else can read it, process their feelings, and move on. You're not here to make friends. You're here to make a point, and the point is hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL. If you're between sizes, go with your usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing puts the ink directly into the fabric. The colors hold up, no cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on where you work and how attached you are to your employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you know someone whose humor could clear a building, yes. If you're not sure they'd laugh, that's your answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton, crew neck, built like an actual garment. 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The I'm Stupid tee works perfectly fine as a solo confession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025731162194,"sku":"ImStupid-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025731194962,"sku":"ImStupid-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025731227730,"sku":"ImStupid-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025731260498,"sku":"ImStupid-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025731293266,"sku":"ImStupid-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025731326034,"sku":"ImStupid-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025731358802,"sku":"ImStupid-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025731391570,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025731424338,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025731457106,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025731489874,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025731522642,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025731555410,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025731588178,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Stupid_I_m_Fucking_Stupid_White_Shirt.png?v=1762481969"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-dr-pepper-graphic-inappropriate-humor-tee","title":"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper Graphic Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper tee from Unethical Threads is for the people who mean it. 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The kind of person who sees 23 flavors and thinks \"yeah, worth it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up better than your impulse control around a vending machine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct to garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e because at least something in your life should be predictable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone whose entire personality is Dr Pepper, this is the gift. Stop buying them another case. They already have a fridge full. Give them something they can wear to Thanksgiving dinner that makes at least one relative deeply uncomfortable. It's thoughtful in the most unhinged way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually say \"dropkick a child\"?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. It says \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper.\" That is the whole shirt. You've been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's not a bug, it's the entire point. 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LGBTQ pride meets French bakery wordplay on a shirt with absolutely no chill. If you need it explained, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think the intersection of bread puns and queer joy is peak comedy. The kind of person who'd rock this at Pride, at brunch, or at Thanksgiving dinner just to watch an uncle quietly Google something under the table. It's a personality test printed on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a paper napkin with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in S through 4XL, because funny comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, keeping it classic while the graphic handles the chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay locked in (your opinions will fade before this does)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with a strong drink and stronger opinions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you know the person. This isn't a safe Secret Santa pick. It's the \"I saw this and immediately thought of you\" shirt, and if that sentence doesn't apply, maybe just get them a gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Faguette mean on the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a mashup of exactly what you think it is. French bread meets queer slang reclamation. If you laughed, you get it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an LGBTQ pride shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes, but with the humor cranked all the way up. It's pride with a side of absurdity, which is honestly the best kind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends entirely on your workplace. If your HR department has a sense of humor, go for it. 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A childhood movie reference that went somewhere it absolutely should not have gone. If you got it, you're our people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose movie taste peaked in childhood and whose humor peaked somewhere worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe friend who ruins movie night with commentary nobody asked for. The person in your group chat who sends things that make you check over your shoulder. If you read \"Sid On My Face\" and immediately laughed, this was made for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not tissue paper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, your big friend is covered too)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, because V-necks are for people who take themselves seriously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, not fading out after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because we know you're not reading care labels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you've ever given.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I know exactly who you are as a person\" like handing someone a shirt that says Sid On My Face. 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