{"title":"Funny Mountain Bike Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to Unethical Threads' funny mountain bike shirts collection where humor meets premium craftsmanship. Our funny mountain bike shirts feature original designs that refuse to play it safe, guaranteed to spark conversations. Available in sizes S-4XL with fast shipping and a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-mountain-bike-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-mountain-bike-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Mountain Bike Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-welsh-t-shirts\"\u003eFunny Welsh T Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts-for-t-shirt-roulette\"\u003eFunny Shirts For T Shirt Roulette\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Mountain Bike Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-mountain-bike-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"free-mustache-rides-funny-inappropriate-trucker-hat","title":"Free Mustache Rides Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Free Mustache Rides Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people who gave up on subtlety a long time ago. It says exactly what you think it says. Wear it to the cookout, the bar, or anywhere you want to thin out your social circle a little.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose sense of humor peaked in a good way. This is the hat for the guy at the barbecue who everyone secretly likes best because he quit pretending to be appropriate years ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever gotten a laugh and a head shake in the same moment, you already know the feeling. The Free Mustache Rides Hat just makes it official.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with a classic trucker profile that actually holds its shape\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't pay the price for your personality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads (even the big ones)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid printed design\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade, crack, or chicken out after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e for that broken-in look from day one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift if you actually know the person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFather's Day, birthdays, bachelor parties, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of someone specific. That reaction is the whole point. If you're buying it for a coworker, make sure HR likes you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Free Mustache Rides Hat actually a trucker hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Classic trucker style with structured foam front panels, mesh back, and an adjustable snapback closure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel off?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. The design is printed to last through regular wear and washing. It's not going anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat size does this hat fit?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne size fits most. The adjustable snapback handles the range, so unless your head is genuinely unusual, you're covered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can. Whether you should depends entirely on your comfort level with strangers reading your hat and forming opinions about you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends on where you work. If your boss laughs at it, you're fine. If they don't, well, it was nice working there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":42012853600338,"sku":"4627643_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red","offer_id":42012853633106,"sku":"4627643_15906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Free_Mustache_Rides_Funny_Mesh_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481914"},{"product_id":"weiner-rides-25-cents-funny-inappropriate-crazy-trucker-hat-sayings","title":"Weiner Rides 25 Cents Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Weiner Rides 25 Cents hat from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A funny trucker hat for people who think cheap thrills should be advertised on your head. Pair it with sunburns, bad decisions, and a total lack of shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Wearing This Hat?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in fun, not in high school.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Weiner Rides 25 Cents hat is for the guy at the cookout already manning the grill, beer in hand, making jokes nobody asked for but everybody needed. It's also weirdly popular as a gift, which says a lot about the kind of friends you keep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel with mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e (your forehead sweats, we get it)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSnapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I've worn this hat every weekend for three years\" look\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up through sun, sweat, and questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex.\u003c\/strong\u003e Degeneracy has no gender.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the perfect gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life would laugh at a hat that says Weiner Rides 25 Cents, you already know they need it. Father's Day, bachelor parties, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. It's the gift that says \"I know exactly who you are and I support it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes. One size, many bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on where you wear it. Church? Probably. Tailgate? You'll be a hero.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your HR department's sense of humor. We're not liable either way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for Father's Day?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf your dad laughs at inappropriate jokes (and let's be honest, he taught you most of them), then yes. Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":42158478032978,"sku":"4311655_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/4a2d42e0-9af5-424a-bf95-590df0500f6b.png?v=1762481914"},{"product_id":"master-baiter-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-fishing-fish-adult-humor-tee","title":"*NEW* Master Baiter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eMaster Baiter Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e from Unethical Threads is a fishing shirt for anyone who's spent a suspicious amount of time with a rod in their hand. It says exactly what you think it says, and no, we will not be apologizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFishermen. Dads. People whose sense of humor peaked at 14 and never looked back (that's a compliment). If you saw this and immediately thought of a specific person, that's the guy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuy it for yourself or buy it for them. Either way, someone's wearing this to a family barbecue and it's going to be a whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper handout from a 5K you didn't finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for people with something to prove\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay loud through every wash. Your joke won't fade even if your dignity already has.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same on day one and day one hundred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best. The Master Baiter Tee is the kind of gag gift that actually gets worn, not shoved in a drawer after the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFather's Day, bachelor parties, birthdays, or the classic \"I saw this and thought of you.\" Works for anyone with a sense of humor and optional access to a body of water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Order your normal size unless you want that extra-baggy fishing guide energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing bonds ink directly into the fabric, so colors hold up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. It says \"Master Baiter\" and has a fish on it. You're just really passionate about fishing. What people read into that is on them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. Works for Father's Day, bachelor parties, birthdays, or anytime you want to remind someone you know them a little too well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on where you work. Bait shop? Absolutely. Corporate office? That's between you and HR.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016018071634,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016018104402,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016018137170,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016018169938,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016018202706,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016018235474,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016018268242,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42016018301010,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42016018333778,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42016018366546,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42016018399314,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016018432082,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016018464850,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016018497618,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Master_Baiter_T_Shirt_Funny_Inappropriate_Fishing_Fish_Adult_Humor_Black_Tee.jpg?v=1762481925"},{"product_id":"legalize-cocaine-25-funny-gen-z-humor-meme-t-shirt","title":"Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee is Unethical Threads at peak irreverence. A parody shirt that says what your inner voice screams at every boring party. Wear it to a cookout, a festival, or just the grocery store if you're feeling particularly unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in the group chat. If your sense of humor has ever made someone audibly gasp at a family function, congratulations, you found your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee pairs well with poor decisions and an absolute refusal to read the room. It's the kind of shirt that either makes you the funniest person at the party or gets you uninvited from the next one. Both outcomes are acceptable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (everyone deserves to make questionable fashion choices)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck. Nothing fancy, just the right frame for the chaos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print for colors that stay loud long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable, because we know where this shirt is going\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift. Nothing says \"I know exactly who you are\" like handing someone a Legalize Cocaine tee at their birthday party in front of their parents.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a gag gift that people actually wear, which is the highest compliment a funny shirt can get. Perfect for white elephants, bachelor parties, or anyone on your list who you'd describe as \"a lot.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about legalizing cocaine?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a parody. You're wearing a joke, not running for office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs comfortable, not boxy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a DTG print on heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLegally, yes. Socially, that's between you and whatever room you're walking into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOnly if you want them to either become your best friend or never speak to you again. High risk, high reward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42019167371346,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167404114,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42019167436882,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42019167469650,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167502418,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167535186,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167567954,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019167600722,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167633490,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019167666258,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019167699026,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167731794,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167764562,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167797330,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Legalize_Cocaine_25_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"sesame-street-funny-cocaine-gen-z-meme-t-shirt","title":"Sesame Street Sequel Tee (Back Design)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sesame Street Sequel Tee from Unethical Threads is the episode PBS never aired. Your favorite felt friends, off the clock and deep into some extracurriculars. Back print, because some jokes hit harder when people read them as you walk away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who grew up on Sesame Street and turned out like this. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe type who ruins group chats, sends memes that get you muted, and treats \"too far\" as a suggestion. 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It's a personality test printed on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a paper napkin with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in S through 4XL, because funny comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, keeping it classic while the graphic handles the chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay locked in (your opinions will fade before this does)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with a strong drink and stronger opinions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you know the person. This isn't a safe Secret Santa pick. It's the \"I saw this and immediately thought of you\" shirt, and if that sentence doesn't apply, maybe just get them a gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Faguette mean on the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a mashup of exactly what you think it is. French bread meets queer slang reclamation. If you laughed, you get it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an LGBTQ pride shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes, but with the humor cranked all the way up. It's pride with a side of absurdity, which is honestly the best kind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton. 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It's a hit with women who like to make a point (two of them, actually) and the partners brave enough to buy it for them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a see-through napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors don't bail after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft enough that you'll forget you're wearing something this inappropriate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. Flat earthers will be mad you're mocking their movement, prudes will clutch pearls at the implication, and HR will have thoughts. But the people whose opinions you actually value (your real friends, your group chat, that one bartender) will think it's the funniest thing you own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt about flat earth or boobs?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Nothing About Me Is Flat Earth tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the design holds up through every wash without cracking, peeling, or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person you're buying for has a sense of humor and a chest, you're golden. If they have neither, maybe grab a gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42059247943762,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42059247976530,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42059248009298,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42059248042066,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42059248074834,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42059248107602,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42059248140370,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42059248173138,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42059248205906,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42059248238674,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42059248271442,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42059248304210,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42059248336978,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42059248369746,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Nothing_About_Me_Is_Flat_Earth_Society_Meme_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482106"},{"product_id":"new-sid-on-my-face-funny-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Sid On My Face Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sid On My Face tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. 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If you read \"Sid On My Face\" and immediately laughed, this was made for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not tissue paper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, your big friend is covered too)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, because V-necks are for people who take themselves seriously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, not fading out after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because we know you're not reading care labels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you've ever given.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I know exactly who you are as a person\" like handing someone a shirt that says Sid On My Face. 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