{"title":"Funny Poker Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShop Unethical Threads' funny poker shirts collection for designs that make people do a double-take. Our funny poker shirts bring the laughs without compromising on comfort or quality. Available in sizes S-4XL with hassle-free returns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-poker-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-poker-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Poker Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/mens-funny-poker-shirts\"\u003eMens Funny Poker Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-fishing-shirts-for-men\"\u003eFunny Fishing Shirts For Men\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Poker Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-poker-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-love-hating-funny-sayings-trucker-hat","title":"I Love Hating Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Hating hat from Unethical Threads says what your face already does. It's a trucker hat for people who've accepted that optimism is overrated and decided to accessorize accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are done pretending. The friend who shows up to brunch already annoyed, the coworker who answers \"how's it going\" with a stare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf hating things is your love language, this hat is fluent. It's not ironic. It's not a phase. You genuinely love hating, and now your head can finally say so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your patience)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for when your contempt runs hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most heads full of grievances\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays sharp without fading or flaking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePolyester\/nylon build\u003c\/strong\u003e that handles daily wear without falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best, actually. Everyone knows someone who runs on spite and iced coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand them the I Love Hating hat and watch their eyes light up for possibly the first time all year. It's the kind of gift that says \"I see you, and I respect the darkness.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured polyester foam front with mesh back panels. Lightweight, breathable, and built for daily wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is printed directly into the material so it stays sharp without fading or flaking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If HR already has a file on you, this hat probably won't make it worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012844720210,"sku":"3138608_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012844785746,"sku":"3138608_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012844752978,"sku":"3138608_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Hating_Funny_Sayings_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_Crazy_Mesh_Hat.jpg?v=1762481905"},{"product_id":"autism-powered-fuck-machine-hat","title":"Autism Powered Fuck Machine Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Autism Powered Fuck Machine Hat from Unethical Threads is for people who turned their diagnosis into a flex and refuse to be quiet about it. Structured cotton front, mesh back, and a statement that hits before you even open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeurodivergent people who own it completely. The ones who made peace with the way their brain works and decided the rest of the world can keep up or get out of the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know the friend who hyperfocused on something for 14 hours straight and emerged looking slightly feral? The one who can drop encyclopedic knowledge on their niche interest but forgot to eat lunch? That person already has this hat in their cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e that keep the message crisp and readable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e, because your brain already runs hot enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most head sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCurved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, pre-shaped so you're ready to go right out of the box\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDurable print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't crack, peel, or fade when you inevitably wear this three days in a row\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you actually know the person. This is a gift for someone who already makes these jokes about themselves, not a random grab for a white elephant exchange.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the right person (your neurodivergent partner, sibling, best friend), this is the kind of gift that gets worn immediately and often. They'll think of you every time someone in public does a visible double take.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo some people, absolutely. To the people it's made for, it's the funniest thing they own. Know your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat size is this trucker hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne size fits most. The adjustable snapback closure in the back handles the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print is made to hold up through regular washing. Just skip the dryer to keep it looking its best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually for autistic people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's for anyone who thinks it's funny. But it hits different when it's your own joke to make.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Light Pink \/ White \/ Light Pink","offer_id":42012844949586,"sku":"2311174_16750","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012844982354,"sku":"2311174_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012845015122,"sku":"2311174_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012845047890,"sku":"2311174_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/foam-trucker-hat-light-pink-white-light-pink-one-size-back-67ed525ae541a.jpg?v=1762481906"},{"product_id":"i-was-sober-for-11-years-then-i-turned-12-funny-drinking-hat","title":"I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for anyone whose relationship with alcohol has been longer than most of their friendships. Structured front, mesh back, and a joke that lands before you even open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone whose drinking story starts before their growth spurt. This hat is for the guy at the barbecue who brought his own cooler and has no intention of sharing. The friend who orders a round before anyone sits down. You know exactly who this is. You might be who this is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with a clean, crisp print that stays readable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't overheat while your jokes do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads (and most egos)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic that won't fade, crack, or apologize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e with a curved brim\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Gift or a Self-Portrait?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth, honestly. If you're buying this for someone, you already know they'll wear it to church just to see what happens. If you're buying it for yourself, you've earned it. Eleven years of sobriety is technically impressive even if the math is doing all the heavy lifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this hat come in different sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one size fits most with an adjustable snapback closure in the back. Fits the vast majority of adult heads comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print is made to hold up through regular wear and washing. Just don't throw it in the dryer on high and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured. The front panels hold their shape so the text stays readable and the hat looks clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your job and your HR department's sense of humor. We believe in you, but we also sell inappropriate hats for a reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847833170,"sku":"8334707_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847898706,"sku":"8334707_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847865938,"sku":"8334707_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Was_Sober_For_11_Years_Then_I_Turned_12_Funny_Drinking_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"legalize-cocaine-25-funny-gen-z-humor-meme-t-shirt","title":"Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee is Unethical Threads at peak irreverence. A parody shirt that says what your inner voice screams at every boring party. Wear it to a cookout, a festival, or just the grocery store if you're feeling particularly unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in the group chat. If your sense of humor has ever made someone audibly gasp at a family function, congratulations, you found your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee pairs well with poor decisions and an absolute refusal to read the room. It's the kind of shirt that either makes you the funniest person at the party or gets you uninvited from the next one. Both outcomes are acceptable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (everyone deserves to make questionable fashion choices)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck. Nothing fancy, just the right frame for the chaos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print for colors that stay loud long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable, because we know where this shirt is going\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift. Nothing says \"I know exactly who you are\" like handing someone a Legalize Cocaine tee at their birthday party in front of their parents.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a gag gift that people actually wear, which is the highest compliment a funny shirt can get. Perfect for white elephants, bachelor parties, or anyone on your list who you'd describe as \"a lot.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about legalizing cocaine?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a parody. You're wearing a joke, not running for office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs comfortable, not boxy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a DTG print on heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLegally, yes. Socially, that's between you and whatever room you're walking into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOnly if you want them to either become your best friend or never speak to you again. High risk, high reward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42019167371346,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167404114,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42019167436882,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42019167469650,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167502418,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167535186,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167567954,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019167600722,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167633490,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019167666258,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019167699026,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167731794,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167764562,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167797330,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Legalize_Cocaine_25_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"lesbians-eat-what-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-cat-tee","title":"Lesbians Eat What V2 Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Lesbians Eat What V2 Tee from Unethical Threads is the scared cat meme your group chat wore out, now on a shirt that can actually take a beating. The cat heard something. You heard it too. We just had the nerve to print it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly? Everyone. Couples love it, which tracks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one of our top gag gifts right behind the Han Job tee, because nothing says \"I was thinking of you\" like a horrified cat and a double entendre. Also huge with the crowd that needs their shirt to do the talking so they don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Not that see-through stuff you got at a fun run in 2019.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because this shirt has enough going on without a V-neck.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print that keeps the color locked in wash after wash.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk. Order your normal size and move on with your life.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Lesbians Eat What tee isn't subtle and it's not trying to be. Wear it to a cookout and watch the room sort itself. The people who laugh are your people. The people who don't were never going to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL. Order your normal size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing keeps the color solid wash after wash. Wash cold and inside out if you want to be extra careful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Lesbians Eat What shirt offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on the room you're in. We'd call it aggressively funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does V2 mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSecond version of the design. Same joke, updated graphic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to Thanksgiving?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe're not your family therapist. But it would be memorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42022966034514,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42022966067282,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42022966100050,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42022966132818,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42022966165586,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42022966198354,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42022966231122,"sku":"TheyWhatV2-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Lesbians_Eat_What_Funny_Inappropriate_Scared_Cat_Graphic_Tee.jpg?v=1762481932"},{"product_id":"im-peace-i-come-in-peace-funny-couples-matching-tee","title":"I'm Peace Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Peace tee is one half of a matching set that doesn't need explaining. If you know, you know. From Unethical Threads, for couples who'd rather make people uncomfortable than wear something boring.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's wearing the other half?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour other half. Obviously. The I'm Peace tee pairs with the \"I Come In Peace\" tee for the kind of couples outfit that gets you disinvited from family brunch. Wear them to a party, a bar, a baby shower you weren't really invited to. The reactions are the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not that see-through tissue-paper stuff\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because inappropriate humor has no size limit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we're classy like that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that survives your questionable life choices (and the washing machine)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same after the first wash as it did when you impulse-bought it at 2 AM\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you and your partner share the same unhinged sense of humor. It's a terrible gift if you'd have to explain it. Know your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is peak \"anniversary present that costs under $40 but gets more laughs than anything else you've ever bought.\" Just make sure you grab both halves of the set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I'm Peace tee come with the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo, each shirt is sold separately. Grab the I Come In Peace tee too if you want the full set.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. DTG printing means the design is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top of it. Wash inside out on cold if you want to be extra careful, but it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for family events?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProbably not. That's the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this without the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSure, but it hits harder as a set. On its own it's a solid shirt. Together, it's a whole situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025733062738,"sku":"Peace11-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025733095506,"sku":"Peace11-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025733128274,"sku":"Peace11-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025733161042,"sku":"Peace11-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025733193810,"sku":"Peace11-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025733226578,"sku":"Peace11-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025733259346,"sku":"Peace11-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025733292114,"sku":"Peace11-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025733324882,"sku":"Peace11-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025733357650,"sku":"Peace11-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025733390418,"sku":"Peace11-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025733423186,"sku":"Peace11-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025733455954,"sku":"Peace11-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025733488722,"sku":"Peace11-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Peace_I_Come_In_Peace_Funny_Couples_Shirt_Black.jpg?v=1762481970"},{"product_id":"i-love-to-blow-bubbles-im-bubbles-funny-couples-shirts","title":"I Love To Blow Bubbles Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love To Blow Bubbles tee from Unethical Threads is one half of a matching couples set. The other half? The I'm Bubbles tee. If you need that explained, this isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho buys matching couples shirts unironically?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been together long enough that embarrassing each other in public is its own love language. You wear the I Love To Blow Bubbles tee, your partner wears the I'm Bubbles tee, and the rest of the bar does the math. It's a team sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a screen print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because good jokes come in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because obviously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds its color through wash cycles, not just the first three\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk so it still fits after laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The I Love To Blow Bubbles and I'm Bubbles combo is the kind of gift that gets a reaction at the party and actually gets worn afterward. Anniversary, Valentine's Day, \"just because you think it's funny.\" All valid reasons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the couples shirt set for people who think matching outfits are cringe unless the outfit is also a dirty joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo the I Love To Blow Bubbles and I'm Bubbles shirts come as a set?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey're sold separately so you can pick the right size for each person. Grab both to complete the joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe DTG print holds up through the wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it, but it's not fragile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for family gatherings?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your family. You know them better than we do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025734078546,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025734111314,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025734144082,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025734176850,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025734209618,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025734242386,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025734275154,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025734307922,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025734340690,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025734373458,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025734406226,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025734438994,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025734471762,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025734504530,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_To_Blow_Bubbles_I_m_Bubbles_Funny_Couples_Shirt_Black.jpg?v=1762481970"},{"product_id":"horny-hungry-hopeless-new-york-yankees-logo-t-shirt-funny-new-york-yankees-meme-tee","title":"Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee from Unethical Threads is three moods, one logo, and zero coping mechanisms. The Yankees NY sits right inside \"Horny\" where, let's be honest, it was always meant to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYankees fans who've accepted that the team is a lifestyle and not a healthy one. Anyone who's described their entire personality as \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" and meant all three at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't ironic. It's a confession on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a napkin after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for job interviews\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't bail after the first spin cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your commitment issues are your problem, not the shirt's.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a Yankees fan?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. For the Yankees fan in your life who has no filter and fewer boundaries. The friend who texts \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" at 2 AM like it's a weather report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it in tissue paper or don't. The shirt does the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the shirt actually have the Yankees logo on it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design uses a stylized NY that references the iconic Yankees look. It's a parody, not officially licensed MLB merch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Horny Hungry Hopeless tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's preshrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Yankees product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is an Unethical Threads original. Parody, not endorsed by MLB or the New York Yankees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print can handle it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42027405705298,"sku":"HHHope-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42027405738066,"sku":"HHHope-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42027405770834,"sku":"HHHope-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42027405803602,"sku":"HHHope-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42027405836370,"sku":"HHHope-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42027405869138,"sku":"HHHope-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42027405901906,"sku":"HHHope-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Horny_Hungry_Hopeless_New_York_Yankees_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481977"},{"product_id":"protect-the-dolls-t-shirt-pedro-pascal-save-transgender-tee","title":"Protect The Dolls Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Protect The Dolls tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who watched Pedro Pascal become the internet's protective dad and thought \"yeah, that's a whole identity.\" Trans rights, feminist energy, and the kind of feral loyalty that only chronically online people understand. Wear it like you mean it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't need the meme explained to them. If you've ever typed \"protect them at all costs\" in a group chat, congratulations, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt hits different at pride, at brunch, at the grocery store when you just need the world to know where you stand. The kind of shirt that finds its people without trying. You'll lock eyes with a stranger across the bar and just nod. That's the whole interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station tissue\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because gatekeeping sizes is embarrassing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I woke up like this\" energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't quietly abandon you after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSoft enough to sleep in\u003c\/strong\u003e (we won't judge)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes. If someone in your life has strong opinions about Pedro Pascal, trans rights, or both, you just found their next favorite shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of gift that makes someone say \"you actually get me.\" Works for birthdays, pride, or just a random Tuesday when you want to be someone's favorite person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Protect The Dolls tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in. No fading, no cracking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Pedro Pascal?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you know, you know. It's about protecting who needs protecting. Pedro just happens to be the patron saint of that energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough for all day, sturdy enough that it won't fall apart on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your HR department has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42029904035922,"sku":"ProDolls-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42029904068690,"sku":"ProDolls-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42029904101458,"sku":"ProDolls-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42029904134226,"sku":"ProDolls-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42029904166994,"sku":"ProDolls-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42029904199762,"sku":"ProDolls-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42029904232530,"sku":"ProDolls-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Protect_The_Dolls_Pedro_Pascal_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481982"},{"product_id":"good-bush-bad-bush-george-w-bush-busch-apple-t-shirt","title":"Good Bush Bad Bush George W Busch Apple Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Good Bush Bad Bush George W Busch Apple Tee is where presidential history meets gas station beer in the worst possible way. Unethical Threads put them together so you didn't have to. You're welcome (and also, sorry).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho is this shirt actually for?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who see Busch Apple in the cooler and immediately think of foreign policy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your sense of humor has been flagged by the algorithm at least once this year, you're the target demo. This shirt lives at the intersection of history class and a tailgate that went completely off the rails. It's not for everyone, and that's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we're unhinged, not experimental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through your questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same after laundry day, whenever that is for you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this get me in trouble?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. That's kind of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Good Bush Bad Bush design is one of those shirts where half the room laughs and the other half pretends they didn't. If you need plausible deniability, just say it's about beer. Technically, it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the Good Bush Bad Bush shirt mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a mashup of George W. Bush and Busch Apple beer. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is baked into the fabric. Wash it normally and it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf the person you're buying for laughs at things they probably shouldn't, yes. If they've ever forwarded you a meme with zero context, this is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42040622383186,"sku":"BapBush-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42040622415954,"sku":"BapBush-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42040622448722,"sku":"BapBush-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42040622481490,"sku":"BapBush-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42040622514258,"sku":"BapBush-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42040622547026,"sku":"BapBush-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42040622579794,"sku":"BapBush-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/0a6da287df11e2e5bd7b2eb8b2f72be7.jpg?v=1762482071"},{"product_id":"new-sid-on-my-face-funny-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Sid On My Face Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sid On My Face tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A childhood movie reference that went somewhere it absolutely should not have gone. If you got it, you're our people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose movie taste peaked in childhood and whose humor peaked somewhere worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe friend who ruins movie night with commentary nobody asked for. The person in your group chat who sends things that make you check over your shoulder. If you read \"Sid On My Face\" and immediately laughed, this was made for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not tissue paper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, your big friend is covered too)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, because V-necks are for people who take themselves seriously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, not fading out after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because we know you're not reading care labels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you've ever given.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I know exactly who you are as a person\" like handing someone a shirt that says Sid On My Face. Perfect for birthdays, white elephants, or just a random Tuesday when you want to remind someone you're thinking of them in the worst way possible. They'll either love it or quietly reevaluate your friendship. Either way, memorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Sid On My Face tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. The DTG printing keeps colors locked in. Wash it inside out on cold if you want to baby it, but it holds up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. Office job? Probably not. Work from home? Nobody can stop you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton. It's a solid, quality tee, not the thin stuff that falls apart after three wears.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if my friend doesn't get the joke?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGet a funnier friend. But yes, check our return policy if you need to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42059585749074,"sku":"SMyFaces-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42059585781842,"sku":"SMyFaces-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42059585814610,"sku":"SMyFaces-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42059585847378,"sku":"SMyFaces-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42059585880146,"sku":"SMyFaces-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42059585912914,"sku":"SMyFaces-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42059585945682,"sku":"SMyFaces-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Sid_On_My_Face_Inappropriate_Adult_Humor_Gift_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482106"},{"product_id":"are-you-asia-cuz-i-wanna-thai-you-up-shirt","title":"*NEW* Are You Asia Cuz I Wanna Thai You Up Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Are You Asia Cuz I Wanna Thai You Up tee from Unethical Threads is a geography pun crossed with a pickup line that has no business being on a shirt. And yet here we are. It's dumb, it's flirty, and you already know if this is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think puns are the highest form of comedy. Honestly, they might be right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one lands especially well at bars, travel meetups, and anywhere someone might appreciate the intersection of world geography and deeply questionable flirting. Your mom will hate it. That's a feature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that thin see-through stuff\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because bad jokes come in all sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, because surprises are for pickup lines, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. If you know someone who texts pickup lines to their partner unironically, this is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks for birthdays, Valentine's Day, or any anniversary where you want to be funny and slightly inappropriate. Just know the recipient before you wrap it. Not everyone deserves this level of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Are You Asia shirt offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a pun about geography and pickup lines. Some people will laugh, some won't. We made it for the ones who laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on pretty much everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG print locks color into the fabric. Wash it on repeat, it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can. Whether you should depends on your comfort level with strangers reading your chest and then looking confused for a second.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42117365694546,"sku":"ThaiUp-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42117365727314,"sku":"ThaiUp-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42117365760082,"sku":"ThaiUp-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42117365792850,"sku":"ThaiUp-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42117365825618,"sku":"ThaiUp-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42117365858386,"sku":"ThaiUp-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42117365891154,"sku":"ThaiUp-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Are_You_Asia_Cuz_I_Wanna_Thai_You_Up_Funny_Shirt.jpg?v=1755069313"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-coca-cola-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola tee is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: saying the quiet part loud, on a shirt. It's a Coca-Cola parody for people whose humor never left the group chat. Unhinged? Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think soda brand loyalty is a personality trait and child safety is negotiable. Your friend who says the worst thing at the barbecue and somehow still gets invited back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your love for Coca-Cola borders on criminal, this is your uniform. The Dropkick series is one of our biggest lines for a reason. People see it, they get it, they want one for every brand they'd commit a minor felony over.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a see-through napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e (yes, even the big soda enthusiasts are covered)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we're unhinged, not experimental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG-printed graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its color wash after wash, no cracking or peeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo, you can't actually dropkick children. But you can look like you'd consider it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's the funniest thing you can hand a Coca-Cola fan who doesn't scare easily.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDark humor lovers, meme-fluent coworkers, the friend who always takes the joke one step too far. If you know someone who'd read \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola\" and immediately say \"where do I buy this,\" you already know this is the move. Birthday, holiday, gag gift exchange, whatever. It lands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Coca Cola shirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt runs unisex relaxed fit. If you want it fitted, go with your normal size. If you want that oversized look, size up one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you wear it and how fast you can run. We've seen everything from laughs to horrified double takes. Wear at your own risk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printed directly into the fabric. The colors won't crack, peel, or fade into a sad ghost of themselves after a few washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if my family disowns me?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe have a return policy, but we can't return your family's respect. Check our return page for the details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come in kids' sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. And given the subject matter, that's probably for the best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42140160950354,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42140160983122,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42140161015890,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42140161048658,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42140161081426,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42140161114194,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42140161146962,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Coca_Cola_Funny_Graphic_Gift_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1757010792"},{"product_id":"jew-jitsu-funny-jewish-bjj-meme-humor-shirt","title":"Jew Jitsu Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Jew Jitsu Tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when the chosen people choose violence. If you train, you already get it. If you don't, you still get it, because this pun does all the heavy lifting for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's been told they have a great sense of humor and took it as a personality trait. BJJ guys who want their wardrobe to match their ground game energy, comedy nerds, and Jewish friends who've been waiting for merch at the exact intersection of grappling and guilt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the shirt that lives in your gym bag and earns more compliments than your actual technique.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after a few wash cycles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because grapplers come in every weight class\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck (no weird collars happening here)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors outlast your cardio\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because surprises belong on the mat, not in the dryer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a pun. A really good one, but still a pun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you can't laugh at wordplay this clean, you might be overthinking it. The people who actually train think it's hilarious. The people who don't train were never buying a BJJ shirt anyway. Everyone in the middle just wants to know where you got it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Jew Jitsu Tee run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a relaxed unisex fit, so it's comfortable without being baggy. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people grab their usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing means the design stays sharp no matter how many times you wash it. Your gym attendance might fade, but the shirt won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I train in this shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically yes, but save it for off the mat. Gi or rashguard for rolling, Jew Jitsu Tee for everything else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person trains BJJ or appreciates a sharp pun, absolutely. If they're easily offended, maybe grab them a candle instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Plenty of room whether you're a featherweight or a super heavyweight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42160659365970,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42160659398738,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42160659431506,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42160659464274,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160659497042,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160659529810,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160659562578,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42160659595346,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42160659628114,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42160659660882,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42160659693650,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160659726418,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160659759186,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160659791954,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Jew_Jitsu_Shirt.jpg?v=1758825705"},{"product_id":"evolution-bdsm-funny-inappropriate-shirt","title":"Evolution BDSM Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Evolution BDSM Tee from Unethical Threads picks up where Darwin left off. The classic ape-to-man progression keeps evolving, and apparently the final form of humanity involves leather, restraints, and a safe word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've made peace with the fact that civilization peaked at the invention of the ball gag. If your sense of humor runs darker than your browser history, this one's for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKink-curious, kink-committed, or just here for the joke. It doesn't matter. You get it or you don't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that handles a beating (phrasing intentional)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because collars are for other occasions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e, no surprises after laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. Some people will laugh, some will pretend they don't get it, and a select few will clutch their pearls so hard they'll need a chiropractor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Evolution BDSM Tee isn't trying to be subtle. If you're shopping here, you already knew that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone well enough to know their kinks, you know them well enough to gift this. Maybe skip the work Secret Santa though.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit that works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the graphic locked in. Your evolutionary progress won't wash away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo some people, yes. It's a comedic take on the evolution chart with a bondage twist. If stick figures in leather bother someone, that's a them problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the fabric like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Solid without being stiff. Comfortable enough for all-day wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42168228806738,"sku":"EvoDD-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42168228839506,"sku":"EvoDD-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42168228872274,"sku":"EvoDD-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42168228905042,"sku":"EvoDD-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42168228937810,"sku":"EvoDD-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42168228970578,"sku":"EvoDD-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42168229003346,"sku":"EvoDD-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Evolution_BDSM_Inappropriate_Funny_Shirt.jpg?v=1759527551"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/collections\/Funny_Poker_Shirts.jpg?v=1761607156","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/funny-poker-shirts.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}