{"title":"Funny Retro T Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnethical Threads presents our funny retro t shirts collection - where offensive meets fashionable. Each design delivers laughs and premium comfort. Shop funny retro t shirts today - sizes S-4XL, 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-retro-t-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-retro-t-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Retro T Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-turning-40-t-shirts\"\u003eFunny Turning 40 T Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-st-patricks-day-shirts-for-guys\"\u003eFunny St Patricks Day Shirts For Guys\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Retro T Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-retro-t-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"bigfoot-is-real-and-he-tried-to-eat-my-ass-funny-inappropriate-trucker-hat","title":"Bigfoot Is Real And He Tried To Eat My Ass Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is the Bigfoot Is Real And He Tried To Eat My Ass trucker hat from Unethical Threads. It says exactly what happened out there in those woods, and you survived, so you might as well accessorize.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who go camping and come back different. The guy at the cookout who has a story that starts with \"okay, so I was alone in the woods\" and ends with everyone quietly putting down their plates.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever watched Finding Bigfoot and thought the show was holding something back, this hat is your sworn testimony in foam and mesh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape better than your story about that night in the woods\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head stays cool while you share your truth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSnapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most head sizes, no excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid front print\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds color wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOne size fits most\u003c\/strong\u003e because Bigfoot doesn't discriminate and neither do we\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the ideal gift for the friend who won't stop talking about cryptids. Or the one who tells weirdly specific stories about their camping trips.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it, hand it over, and watch them finally feel understood. Also works as an apology gift, a birthday gift, or a \"sorry I told everyone about your Bigfoot encounter\" gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. The snapback closure adjusts to fit most head sizes comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eStructured foam and cotton front panel with a breathable polyester mesh back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. The print holds up through regular washing and wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat unisex?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Bigfoot does not care about your gender and neither does this hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTechnically, yes. Whether you should is between you and the other people at Walmart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012845473874,"sku":"4063455_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Bigfoot_Is_Real_And_He_Tried_To_Eat_My_Ass_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481906"},{"product_id":"im-not-a-gynecologist-but-ill-take-a-look-funny-inappropriate-trucker-hat","title":"I'm Not A Gynecologist But I'll Take A Look Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Not A Gynecologist But I'll Take A Look hat from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A trucker hat for the guy who peaked in med school pickup lines and never looked back. Structured front panel, mesh back, and enough audacity to clear a waiting room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGuys who think being inappropriate is a personality trait (and honestly, they're not wrong).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat lives at barbecues, bachelor parties, and anywhere the dress code is \"questionable at best.\" If your friend group has a designated \"too much\" guy, this is his hat. If you don't have that guy, congrats. It's you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your reputation after wearing this)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e, because your head deserves ventilation even if your humor doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads, no excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid, durable print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays sharp wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved brim\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic trucker profile\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you can give someone you're not trying to impress.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFather's Day, white elephant, birthday for the friend who already has everything except boundaries. Just don't expect a thank you card from his wife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this hat come in different colors?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck the product options above for available color combinations. Each one pairs nicely with poor judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you wear it and how easily your HR department gets offended. We just make the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The snapback closure fits most head sizes, so no excuses.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash this hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand wash cold, air dry. Treat it better than you treat first dates.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012848324690,"sku":"6455830_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Not_A_Gynecologist_But_I_ll_Take_A_Look_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat.jpg?v=1762481910"},{"product_id":"working-hard-hardly-working-hard-while-working-funny-trucker-hat","title":"Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working hat from Unethical Threads is what happens when your brain tries to explain your work ethic and just gives up halfway through. A trucker hat for people whose productivity is best described as a beautiful, circular paradox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've mastered the ancient art of looking busy. Remote workers, middle managers who schedule meetings about meetings, and anyone whose LinkedIn says \"grinding\" while their screen time report says otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever toggled your Slack status to active while watching YouTube, this hat was literally made for you. Wear it to the office. Wear it on the Zoom call where you're definitely paying attention. Let the text do the talking so you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e with foam core that holds its shape (unlike your ambition after lunch)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow, because even pretending to work up a sweat counts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most head sizes, one size, minimal commitment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant sublimation print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade, even when your motivation does\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex fit\u003c\/strong\u003e because slacking transcends gender\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift for a Coworker?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best passive-aggressive gift ever invented. Perfect for Secret Santa, retirement parties, or just leaving on someone's desk without a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, if you know someone who says \"let's circle back\" more than three times a day, you owe them this hat. It's cheaper than therapy and way more accurate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt means exactly what it sounds like, which is nothing and everything at the same time. Your work ethic, described by someone whose brain buffered mid-sentence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes. One size, minimal commitment required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me in trouble at work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on your boss's sense of humor. If they laugh, you're golden. If they don't, at least you'll look good in the exit interview.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do I wash this hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand wash cold, air dry. Don't throw it in the dryer unless you want a hat that fits your kid instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012848554066,"sku":"1725152_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012848586834,"sku":"1725152_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012848619602,"sku":"1725152_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Working_Hard_Hard_While_Working_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481910"},{"product_id":"master-baiter-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-fishing-fish-adult-humor-tee","title":"*NEW* Master Baiter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eMaster Baiter Tee\u003c\/strong\u003e from Unethical Threads is a fishing shirt for anyone who's spent a suspicious amount of time with a rod in their hand. It says exactly what you think it says, and no, we will not be apologizing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFishermen. Dads. People whose sense of humor peaked at 14 and never looked back (that's a compliment). If you saw this and immediately thought of a specific person, that's the guy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuy it for yourself or buy it for them. Either way, someone's wearing this to a family barbecue and it's going to be a whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper handout from a 5K you didn't finish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for people with something to prove\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay loud through every wash. Your joke won't fade even if your dignity already has.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same on day one and day one hundred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best. The Master Baiter Tee is the kind of gag gift that actually gets worn, not shoved in a drawer after the party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFather's Day, bachelor parties, birthdays, or the classic \"I saw this and thought of you.\" Works for anyone with a sense of humor and optional access to a body of water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Order your normal size unless you want that extra-baggy fishing guide energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing bonds ink directly into the fabric, so colors hold up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. It says \"Master Baiter\" and has a fish on it. You're just really passionate about fishing. What people read into that is on them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. Works for Father's Day, bachelor parties, birthdays, or anytime you want to remind someone you know them a little too well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on where you work. Bait shop? Absolutely. Corporate office? That's between you and HR.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016018071634,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016018104402,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016018137170,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016018169938,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016018202706,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016018235474,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016018268242,"sku":"TheBigBait-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42016018301010,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42016018333778,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42016018366546,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42016018399314,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016018432082,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016018464850,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016018497618,"sku":"TheBigBait-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Master_Baiter_T_Shirt_Funny_Inappropriate_Fishing_Fish_Adult_Humor_Black_Tee.jpg?v=1762481925"},{"product_id":"new-rome-wasnt-burned-in-a-day-tesla-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when ancient history, corporate hubris, and a factory fire walk into a bar. Heavyweight cotton, full-color DTG print, and the kind of joke that makes people either laugh or quietly unfollow you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who read the news and cope with laughter instead of therapy. If you've ever watched a press conference and thought \"this is performance art,\" you're the target audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also does well at cookouts, game nights, and anywhere someone's about to say \"wait, is that real?\" The Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day design hits that sweet spot between clever and unhinged, which is basically our entire brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like you paid for a shirt, not a napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because dark humor isn't size-exclusive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we're chaotic, not tacky\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through every wash, not cracked and peeling after three spins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, you can machine wash it. We're not monsters.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis tee sits at the intersection of historical wordplay and modern tech satire, which means it'll land perfectly with some people and make others visibly uncomfortable. If both of those outcomes sound fun to you, you're in the right place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an anti-Elon shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a shirt about Rome. And fire. And a certain electric car company that keeps having both. Draw your own conclusions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton with a DTG print. Wash cold, tumble low, and it'll hold up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who hates Elon Musk?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe can't think of a better one. 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Howling wolf. Biological warfare. Peak \"I don't need your approval\" energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's wearing a fart joke shirt in public?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who stopped caring about first impressions somewhere around 2019.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt is for the friend everyone describes as \"a lot\" and means it as a compliment. You've got the howling wolf, you've got the declaration of biological intent. It's motivational poster art for people who think LinkedIn influencers deserve worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (the one neckline that never tried too hard)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that survives your questionable laundry habits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because we know you're not reading care labels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift or just a cry for help?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth, honestly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life has ever crop-dusted a meeting and made eye contact while doing it, this is their shirt. 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Wear it to a Minecraft LAN party and become either the hero or the villain, no in-between.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin with a graphic on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e so yes, we got you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic. Nothing weird happening up top (just on the front)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, because surprises are for birthdays, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if your goal is making someone laugh, then immediately look around the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for white elephant exchanges, gamer birthdays, or anyone who thinks \"appropriate\" is more of a spectrum than a rule. Wrap it, hand it over, deny everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Love Miners shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Minecraft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is Minecraft-inspired. What you tell people it means is entirely your business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print lasts longer that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me weird looks?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. 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It's a team sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a screen print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because good jokes come in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because obviously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds its color through wash cycles, not just the first three\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk so it still fits after laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The I Love To Blow Bubbles and I'm Bubbles combo is the kind of gift that gets a reaction at the party and actually gets worn afterward. Anniversary, Valentine's Day, \"just because you think it's funny.\" All valid reasons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the couples shirt set for people who think matching outfits are cringe unless the outfit is also a dirty joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo the I Love To Blow Bubbles and I'm Bubbles shirts come as a set?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey're sold separately so you can pick the right size for each person. Grab both to complete the joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe DTG print holds up through the wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it, but it's not fragile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for family gatherings?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your family. 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Pair it with a straight face for maximum effect, or own it with the grin of someone who knows exactly what they're doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station souvenir\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because dark humor comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, classic cut\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the design stays vivid long after your friends stop inviting you to brunch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because at least something in your life should be predictable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. That's the whole thesis.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't a shirt for people who run their outfit choices through a focus group. It's for people who've already accepted that their sense of humor is a character flaw they're not working on. 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Vatican meets the South Side. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this just for Chicago people?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot even close. You don't need to know a single thing about O Block to appreciate the absolute chaos of the pope posted up with the boys. Chicago natives will catch the deep cut, everyone else will appreciate the audacity. Either way, this shirt hits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a napkin with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL (yes, we accommodate the whole congregation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because the pope would want it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e directly into the fabric, so the colors don't fade when you actually wash it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, meaning your tee won't become a crop top after one spin cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the whole point of wearing Unethical Threads. The pope is from Chicago, the meme wrote itself, and we just had the good sense to put it on cotton. If someone at brunch clutches their pearls, that sounds like a them problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRuns true. It's a relaxed unisex fit, so if you're between sizes, either works. Check the size chart to get specific.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on from 2004. Colors hold up through the wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually about Pope Leo XIV?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. The first American pope, Robert Prevost, took the name Leo XIV. He's from Chicago. The internet did what it does. 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