{"title":"Funny Sasquatch Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShop Unethical Threads' funny sasquatch shirts collection for designs that make people do a double-take. Our funny sasquatch shirts bring the laughs without compromising on comfort or quality. Available in sizes S-4XL with hassle-free returns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-sasquatch-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-sasquatch-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Sasquatch Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/mens-funny-cruise-shirts\"\u003eMen'S Funny Cruise Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/mens-funny-t-shirts-uk\"\u003eMens Funny T Shirts Uk\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Sasquatch Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-sasquatch-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-was-sober-for-11-years-then-i-turned-12-funny-drinking-hat","title":"I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for anyone whose relationship with alcohol has been longer than most of their friendships. Structured front, mesh back, and a joke that lands before you even open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone whose drinking story starts before their growth spurt. This hat is for the guy at the barbecue who brought his own cooler and has no intention of sharing. The friend who orders a round before anyone sits down. You know exactly who this is. You might be who this is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with a clean, crisp print that stays readable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't overheat while your jokes do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads (and most egos)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic that won't fade, crack, or apologize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e with a curved brim\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Gift or a Self-Portrait?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth, honestly. If you're buying this for someone, you already know they'll wear it to church just to see what happens. If you're buying it for yourself, you've earned it. Eleven years of sobriety is technically impressive even if the math is doing all the heavy lifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this hat come in different sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one size fits most with an adjustable snapback closure in the back. Fits the vast majority of adult heads comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print is made to hold up through regular wear and washing. Just don't throw it in the dryer on high and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured. The front panels hold their shape so the text stays readable and the hat looks clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your job and your HR department's sense of humor. We believe in you, but we also sell inappropriate hats for a reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847833170,"sku":"8334707_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847898706,"sku":"8334707_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847865938,"sku":"8334707_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Was_Sober_For_11_Years_Then_I_Turned_12_Funny_Drinking_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"i-need-moral-support-oral-funny-trucker-hats","title":"I Need Moral Support Oral Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Need Moral Support Oral Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people whose coping mechanisms are, let's say, creative. Slap it on your head and let everyone at the bar piece it together on their own. No explanation needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This Hat?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in humor around age 14 and never looked back. This is the hat you throw on when subtlety has left the building entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friends will laugh. Your coworkers will have questions. HR might draft a very polite email. The bartender will pour you a double because they respect the commitment. Honestly, it filters people faster than a dating app bio.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape instead of going limp after a week\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back panels\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow (you'll need the ventilation when people start reading your hat)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads and most levels of poor judgment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays crisp and vibrant through regular washing, no cracking or fading\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, pre-curved so you don't have to pretend you're at a fitting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough that they won't block your number afterward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBachelor parties, birthdays, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. Father's Day if your dad is cool like that. Just make sure the recipient has the kind of sense of humor that doesn't come with a disclaimer attached.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat size is this trucker hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne size fits most. The adjustable snapback closure in the back handles the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The graphic is printed to last through regular washing without cracking, peeling, or losing color.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you value continued employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat material is the hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured foam front panel with breathable mesh back panels. Classic trucker hat build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck our return policy for the hat itself. The social consequences are on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Red","offer_id":42012851863634,"sku":"6910298_15906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012851896402,"sku":"6910298_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012851929170,"sku":"6910298_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012851961938,"sku":"6910298_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Need_Moral_Oral_Support_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat.jpg?v=1762481913"},{"product_id":"weiner-rides-25-cents-funny-inappropriate-crazy-trucker-hat-sayings","title":"Weiner Rides 25 Cents Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Weiner Rides 25 Cents hat from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A funny trucker hat for people who think cheap thrills should be advertised on your head. Pair it with sunburns, bad decisions, and a total lack of shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Wearing This Hat?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in fun, not in high school.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Weiner Rides 25 Cents hat is for the guy at the cookout already manning the grill, beer in hand, making jokes nobody asked for but everybody needed. It's also weirdly popular as a gift, which says a lot about the kind of friends you keep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel with mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e (your forehead sweats, we get it)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSnapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I've worn this hat every weekend for three years\" look\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up through sun, sweat, and questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex.\u003c\/strong\u003e Degeneracy has no gender.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the perfect gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life would laugh at a hat that says Weiner Rides 25 Cents, you already know they need it. Father's Day, bachelor parties, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. It's the gift that says \"I know exactly who you are and I support it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes. One size, many bad decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat get me in trouble?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on where you wear it. Church? Probably. Tailgate? You'll be a hero.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your HR department's sense of humor. We're not liable either way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for Father's Day?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf your dad laughs at inappropriate jokes (and let's be honest, he taught you most of them), then yes. Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":42158478032978,"sku":"4311655_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/4a2d42e0-9af5-424a-bf95-590df0500f6b.png?v=1762481914"},{"product_id":"im-paint-i-love-to-finger-paint-t-shirt","title":"I'm Paint Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Paint tee from Unethical Threads is one half of our most unhinged couples set. You wear this. Your person wears \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-love-finger-painting-im-paint-inappropriate-couples-shirt\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"I Love To Finger Paint Shirt\"\u003eI Love To Finger Paint\u003c\/a\u003e. Together you walk into brunch and let the room figure it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Wearing This One?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe one who's Paint, obviously. This is the other half of the set, paired with our I Love To Finger Paint tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of you is the artist, one of you is the canvas. We're not here to judge who's who. Wear them to a party, a cookout, or your in-laws' anniversary dinner if you're feeling particularly brave.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a free promo tee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors don't bail after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs with our I Love To Finger Paint tee (sold separately, relationships also sold separately)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Couples Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes. It's the kind of gift that says \"I know exactly what we are and I'm not sorry about it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWay better than matching pajamas. Way more memorable than a candle. If your relationship can't handle this shirt, that's a different conversation entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt come as a set with the Finger Paint tee?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo, each shirt is sold separately. Grab the I Love To Finger Paint tee too if you want the full effect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the I'm Paint tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing means the design is part of the fabric, not sitting on top of it. Wash normally and skip the dryer abuse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this by itself or does it only work as a pair?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt works solo if you want people spending all day trying to figure out what \"I'm Paint\" means. Which, honestly, is also pretty funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42013158834258,"sku":"Painter-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42013158867026,"sku":"Painter-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42013158899794,"sku":"Painter-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42013158932562,"sku":"Painter-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42013158965330,"sku":"Painter-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42013158998098,"sku":"Painter-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42013159030866,"sku":"Painter-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42013159063634,"sku":"Painter-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42013159096402,"sku":"Painter-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42013159129170,"sku":"Painter-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42013159161938,"sku":"Painter-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42013159194706,"sku":"Painter-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42013159227474,"sku":"Painter-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42013159260242,"sku":"Painter-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Paint_I_Love_To_Finger_Paint_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481916"},{"product_id":"coming-out-of-my-cave-t-shirt-funny-jesus-easter-music-parody-tee","title":"Coming Out Of My Cave - Lyrics Jesus Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Coming Out Of My Cave tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when Mr. Brightside and the Easter story collide at full speed. Jesus, emerging from the tomb, set to the most dramatic lyrics of the 2000s. It's the crossover nobody asked for and everybody needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's ever heard Mr. Brightside at a party and immediately thought about the resurrection. So, a very specific and deeply unwell group of people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your sense of humor lives at the intersection of church camp and indie rock, this shirt was made for you. It plays just as well at Easter brunch as it does at a concert where you're three beers deep and feeling spiritual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after three washes like that shirt you got at a youth group retreat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because not everything needs to be complicated\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in even after your mom insists on washing it in hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with cargo shorts, communion wine, and poor life decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot really. It's more \"confuse your pastor\" than \"get kicked out of church.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe beauty of Coming Out Of My Cave is that it works on multiple levels. Music fans get the Mr. Brightside reference. Church people get the Easter bit. And the people who get both? Those are your people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt just for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. The resurrection is eternal and so is Mr. Brightside. Wear it year-round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Coming Out Of My Cave tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. 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This thing will outlast most relationships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42095345434706,"sku":"GFeetLov-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42095345467474,"sku":"GFeetLov-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42095345500242,"sku":"GFeetLov-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42095345533010,"sku":"GFeetLov-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42095345565778,"sku":"GFeetLov-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42095345598546,"sku":"GFeetLov-Black-3XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42095345631314,"sku":"GFeetLov-Black-4XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_My_Girlfriends_Feet_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482310"},{"product_id":"are-you-asia-cuz-i-wanna-thai-you-up-shirt","title":"*NEW* Are You Asia Cuz I Wanna Thai You Up Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Are You Asia Cuz I Wanna Thai You Up tee from Unethical Threads is a geography pun crossed with a pickup line that has no business being on a shirt. And yet here we are. It's dumb, it's flirty, and you already know if this is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think puns are the highest form of comedy. Honestly, they might be right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one lands especially well at bars, travel meetups, and anywhere someone might appreciate the intersection of world geography and deeply questionable flirting. Your mom will hate it. That's a feature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that thin see-through stuff\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because bad jokes come in all sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, because surprises are for pickup lines, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. If you know someone who texts pickup lines to their partner unironically, this is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks for birthdays, Valentine's Day, or any anniversary where you want to be funny and slightly inappropriate. Just know the recipient before you wrap it. 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Wholesome wordplay meets meme energy. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople on the spectrum who are done with puzzle piece merch. Parents who'd rather laugh than lecture. Honestly, anyone who thinks autism awareness could use less corporate and more chaos. This is the shirt your support group didn't approve, and that's exactly the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a charity 5K\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Room to be comfortable. Period.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. No surprises there.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through every wash cycle (unlike your neurotypical friends' patience)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e We planned ahead so you don't have to.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends who you ask. The joke is affectionate, not punching down. It's clever wordplay, and most people on the spectrum seem to love it. The only folks who get upset are the ones who get upset at everything. You probably already know which group you fall into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good autism awareness shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's autism awareness with a pulse. No puzzle pieces, no sad blue lighting. 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Someone's grandma is going to read it out loud at the grocery store and you'll just have to stand there. Totally worth it. If you're shopping at Unethical Threads, you already know what you signed up for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Japanties tee a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your friend has a terrible sense of humor and no filter, this is the perfect gift. If they're easily offended, maybe grab a candle instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size, so grab your usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The DTG print bonds ink directly into the fabric, so the design holds up wash after wash. 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