{"title":"Funny Sex Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShop Unethical Threads' funny sex shirts collection for designs that make people do a double-take. Our funny sex shirts bring the laughs without compromising on comfort or quality. Available in sizes S-4XL with hassle-free returns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-sex-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-sex-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Sex Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/men-shirt-funny-sex\"\u003eMen Shirt Funny Sex\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/shirt-sex-funny-text-men\"\u003eShirt Sex Funny Text Men\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Sex Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-sex-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"working-hard-hardly-working-hard-while-working-funny-trucker-hat","title":"Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working hat from Unethical Threads is what happens when your brain tries to explain your work ethic and just gives up halfway through. A trucker hat for people whose productivity is best described as a beautiful, circular paradox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've mastered the ancient art of looking busy. Remote workers, middle managers who schedule meetings about meetings, and anyone whose LinkedIn says \"grinding\" while their screen time report says otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever toggled your Slack status to active while watching YouTube, this hat was literally made for you. Wear it to the office. Wear it on the Zoom call where you're definitely paying attention. Let the text do the talking so you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e with foam core that holds its shape (unlike your ambition after lunch)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow, because even pretending to work up a sweat counts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most head sizes, one size, minimal commitment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant sublimation print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade, even when your motivation does\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex fit\u003c\/strong\u003e because slacking transcends gender\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift for a Coworker?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best passive-aggressive gift ever invented. Perfect for Secret Santa, retirement parties, or just leaving on someone's desk without a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, if you know someone who says \"let's circle back\" more than three times a day, you owe them this hat. It's cheaper than therapy and way more accurate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt means exactly what it sounds like, which is nothing and everything at the same time. Your work ethic, described by someone whose brain buffered mid-sentence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes. One size, minimal commitment required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me in trouble at work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on your boss's sense of humor. If they laugh, you're golden. If they don't, at least you'll look good in the exit interview.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do I wash this hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand wash cold, air dry. Don't throw it in the dryer unless you want a hat that fits your kid instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012848554066,"sku":"1725152_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012848586834,"sku":"1725152_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012848619602,"sku":"1725152_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Working_Hard_Hard_While_Working_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481910"},{"product_id":"i-love-finger-painting-im-paint-inappropriate-couples-shirt","title":"I Love To Finger Paint I'm Paint Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love To Finger Paint I'm Paint Tee from Unethical Threads is a matching couples shirt for people whose love language involves getting a little messy. If you have to ask what the joke is, this one isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been together long enough that subtlety died years ago. This is the couple that holds hands in public and makes everyone else uncomfortable. The I Love To Finger Paint set is for partners who treat innuendo like a love language and gift-giving like a competitive sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can handle whatever you put it through (we're talking laundry, relax)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because this joke works on every body type\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck, classic cut\u003c\/strong\u003e, nothing weird going on structurally\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay locked in, not peeling off after three washes like a cheap bumper sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e, though the memories of wearing this in public are permanent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good couples gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great couples gift. This is the move for anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or any time you want to remind your partner exactly what you bring to the table. It lands way harder than a candle or a gift card. Honestly, if your significant other doesn't laugh at this, you might have bigger problems than gift selection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come as a set or do I buy each shirt separately?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is sold separately so you can grab the right size for each person. Pick up the I Love To Finger Paint tee here and the I'm Paint tee on its own listing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. No cracking, no fading, no sad peeling situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on your definition of appropriate. We say yes. Your in-laws might disagree.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42013145759826,"sku":"FingerPainter-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42013145792594,"sku":"FingerPainter-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42013145825362,"sku":"FingerPainter-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42013145858130,"sku":"FingerPainter-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42013145890898,"sku":"FingerPainter-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42013145923666,"sku":"FingerPainter-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42013145956434,"sku":"FingerPainter-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42013145989202,"sku":"FingerPainter-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42013146021970,"sku":"FingerPainter-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42013146054738,"sku":"FingerPainter-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42013146087506,"sku":"FingerPainter-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42013146120274,"sku":"FingerPainter-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42013146153042,"sku":"FingerPainter-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42013146185810,"sku":"FingerPainter-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_To_Finger_Paint_I_m_Paint_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481916"},{"product_id":"new-rome-wasnt-burned-in-a-day-tesla-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when ancient history, corporate hubris, and a factory fire walk into a bar. Heavyweight cotton, full-color DTG print, and the kind of joke that makes people either laugh or quietly unfollow you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who read the news and cope with laughter instead of therapy. If you've ever watched a press conference and thought \"this is performance art,\" you're the target audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also does well at cookouts, game nights, and anywhere someone's about to say \"wait, is that real?\" The Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day design hits that sweet spot between clever and unhinged, which is basically our entire brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like you paid for a shirt, not a napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because dark humor isn't size-exclusive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we're chaotic, not tacky\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through every wash, not cracked and peeling after three spins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, you can machine wash it. We're not monsters.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis tee sits at the intersection of historical wordplay and modern tech satire, which means it'll land perfectly with some people and make others visibly uncomfortable. If both of those outcomes sound fun to you, you're in the right place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an anti-Elon shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a shirt about Rome. And fire. And a certain electric car company that keeps having both. Draw your own conclusions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton with a DTG print. Wash cold, tumble low, and it'll hold up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who hates Elon Musk?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe can't think of a better one. Wrap it or don't, the reaction will be the same.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016368754770,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016368787538,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016368820306,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016368853074,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016368885842,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016368918610,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016368951378,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Rome_Wasn_t_Burned_In_A_Day_T_Shirt_Funny_Offensive_Tesla_Tee.jpg?v=1762481927"},{"product_id":"it-was-only-a-kiss-judas-betraying-jesus-funny-easter-t-shirt","title":"It Was Only A Kiss - Judas Betraying Jesus Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe It Was Only A Kiss tee from Unethical Threads takes the most dramatic betrayal in history and soundtracks it with The Killers. Judas, Jesus, and Mr. Brightside on one shirt. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who know every word to Mr. Brightside and also sat through enough Sunday school to catch the reference immediately. It's the overlap of 2000s karaoke energy and childhood religious education. The kind of person who shows up to Easter brunch looking for a reaction. If your family group chat has ever gone silent because of something you wore, this one's for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (Judas-level betrayal comes in all sizes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that doesn't fade or crack, which is more than you can say for most friendships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, so it fits the same on Easter and every Sunday after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly, and that's kind of the point. Look, if someone at your Easter gathering can't handle a Mr. Brightside and Bible crossover, they were going to find something to be upset about anyway. This shirt doesn't punch down. It punches sideways, at a 2,000-year-old story that literally everyone knows. Wear it with confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Mr. Brightside?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's the Judas-Jesus kiss meets The Killers' biggest hit. Two betrayals, one shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the It Was Only A Kiss tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your family. It's biblically accurate and musically on point. Whether that flies at your table is between you and your relatives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Follow the care instructions and it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who loves memes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf they've ever sent a Mr. Brightside meme or made a Judas joke, yes. This is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016954581074,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016954613842,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016954646610,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016954679378,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016954712146,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016954744914,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016954777682,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/It_Was_Only_A_Kiss_Judas_Betraying_Jesus_Funny_Easter_Christian_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"tung-tung-tung-sahur-italian-brainrot-meme-t-shirt","title":"Tung Tung Tung Sahur Italian Brainrot Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Tung Tung Tung Sahur Italian Brainrot Tee from Unethical Threads is for people whose sense of humor was permanently rewired by the internet. If you know the chant, you know. If you don't, this shirt isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe chronically online. The ones who hear the cursed chant in their sleep and genuinely believe Italian brainrot is a legitimate cultural movement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour screen time report is horrifying and you've accepted that. This shirt is the uniform for people who stopped trying to explain their humor to coworkers three memes ago. You don't need context. You are the context.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like an actual shirt, not a gas station freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we have some standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors outlast your attention span\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e because surprises belong in memes, not laundry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person you're buying for has ever sent you a brainrot clip at 2AM, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift for someone who's too far gone and proud of it. 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Stop buying them another case. They already have a fridge full. Give them something they can wear to Thanksgiving dinner that makes at least one relative deeply uncomfortable. It's thoughtful in the most unhinged way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually say \"dropkick a child\"?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. It says \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper.\" That is the whole shirt. You've been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's not a bug, it's the entire point. 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If your coping mechanism is memes and your whole aesthetic is \"animated supervillain with a point,\" this is the shirt. 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