{"title":"Funny Shirt Store","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShop Unethical Threads' funny shirt store collection for designs that make people do a double-take. Our funny shirt store bring the laughs without compromising on comfort or quality. Available in sizes S-4XL with hassle-free returns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-shirt-store'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-shirt-store\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Shirt Store Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-t-shirt-online-store\"\u003eFunny T Shirt Online Store\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-t-shirt-store-names\"\u003eFunny T Shirt Store Names\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Shirt Store\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirt-store\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-eat-drywall-funny-weird-trucker-hat","title":"I Eat Drywall Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Eat Drywall Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people whose sense of humor peaked somewhere between \"chaotic\" and \"concerning.\" It says what it says. You either get it or you're Googling it right now, and both outcomes are funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears a hat that says I Eat Drywall?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eContractors, gym bros, and anyone who peaked in a group chat. This is the hat equivalent of a personality test nobody asked you to take.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone at Home Depot nods at you while you're wearing this, that's your new best friend. You don't choose the drywall life, but you can certainly advertise it on your forehead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e that hold the absurdity upright\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head gets airflow even when your decisions don't deserve respect\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most skulls, even the thick ones\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted design that holds up\u003c\/strong\u003e through washes and questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved brim\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I swear I'm normal\" silhouette\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough to insult them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBirthday, White Elephant, \"sorry about what I said at Thanksgiving,\" whatever the occasion. The I Eat Drywall Hat works because it requires no explanation and offers none. Hand it over. Watch their face. That's the whole gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Eat Drywall Hat fit big heads?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe snapback closure adjusts to fit most head sizes. If your head is truly enormous, you probably already know which hats work for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design holds up through regular washes. Skip the bleach, don't iron directly on the print, and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured front panels keep the design looking sharp. The mesh back is flexible for comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your boss has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, that sounds like a you problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012846719058,"sku":"4811494_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Eat_Drywall_Funny_Hats_For_Men_Weird_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_Front_View.jpg?v=1762481907"},{"product_id":"working-hard-hardly-working-hard-while-working-funny-trucker-hat","title":"Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working hat from Unethical Threads is what happens when your brain tries to explain your work ethic and just gives up halfway through. A trucker hat for people whose productivity is best described as a beautiful, circular paradox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've mastered the ancient art of looking busy. Remote workers, middle managers who schedule meetings about meetings, and anyone whose LinkedIn says \"grinding\" while their screen time report says otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever toggled your Slack status to active while watching YouTube, this hat was literally made for you. Wear it to the office. Wear it on the Zoom call where you're definitely paying attention. Let the text do the talking so you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e with foam core that holds its shape (unlike your ambition after lunch)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow, because even pretending to work up a sweat counts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most head sizes, one size, minimal commitment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant sublimation print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade, even when your motivation does\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex fit\u003c\/strong\u003e because slacking transcends gender\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift for a Coworker?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best passive-aggressive gift ever invented. Perfect for Secret Santa, retirement parties, or just leaving on someone's desk without a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, if you know someone who says \"let's circle back\" more than three times a day, you owe them this hat. It's cheaper than therapy and way more accurate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt means exactly what it sounds like, which is nothing and everything at the same time. Your work ethic, described by someone whose brain buffered mid-sentence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes. One size, minimal commitment required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me in trouble at work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on your boss's sense of humor. If they laugh, you're golden. If they don't, at least you'll look good in the exit interview.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do I wash this hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand wash cold, air dry. Don't throw it in the dryer unless you want a hat that fits your kid instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012848554066,"sku":"1725152_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012848586834,"sku":"1725152_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012848619602,"sku":"1725152_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Working_Hard_Hard_While_Working_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481910"},{"product_id":"i-need-moral-support-oral-funny-trucker-hats","title":"I Need Moral Support Oral Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Need Moral Support Oral Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people whose coping mechanisms are, let's say, creative. Slap it on your head and let everyone at the bar piece it together on their own. No explanation needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This Hat?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in humor around age 14 and never looked back. This is the hat you throw on when subtlety has left the building entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friends will laugh. Your coworkers will have questions. HR might draft a very polite email. The bartender will pour you a double because they respect the commitment. Honestly, it filters people faster than a dating app bio.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape instead of going limp after a week\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back panels\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow (you'll need the ventilation when people start reading your hat)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads and most levels of poor judgment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays crisp and vibrant through regular washing, no cracking or fading\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, pre-curved so you don't have to pretend you're at a fitting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough that they won't block your number afterward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBachelor parties, birthdays, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. Father's Day if your dad is cool like that. Just make sure the recipient has the kind of sense of humor that doesn't come with a disclaimer attached.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat size is this trucker hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne size fits most. The adjustable snapback closure in the back handles the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The graphic is printed to last through regular washing without cracking, peeling, or losing color.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you value continued employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat material is the hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured foam front panel with breathable mesh back panels. Classic trucker hat build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck our return policy for the hat itself. The social consequences are on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Red","offer_id":42012851863634,"sku":"6910298_15906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012851896402,"sku":"6910298_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012851929170,"sku":"6910298_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012851961938,"sku":"6910298_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Need_Moral_Oral_Support_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat.jpg?v=1762481913"},{"product_id":"less-naggin-more-gaggin-funny-trucker-hat","title":"Less Naggin More Gaggin Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Less Naggin More Gaggin hat from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A trucker hat for the guy who said the quiet part out loud and decided to wear it on his head. You already know if this is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGuys who've been in a relationship long enough to find this hilarious. Also single guys who want to stay that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of hat that tells everyone at the cookout exactly where you stand. No further explanation needed. If you have to ask, it's probably not for you, but you clicked anyway, so here we are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your last argument)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back panels\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow, because you're going to need to cool off\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSnapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that adjusts to fit most heads and most egos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHigh-quality print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays crisp wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eComfortable all-day wear\u003c\/strong\u003e so you can commit to the bit from morning to last call\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best. If you know a guy who needs this hat, he probably really needs this hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for birthdays, bachelor parties, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of someone specific. Pair it with a straight face for maximum delivery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print holds up through regular washing. Your patience might fade first, but the hat won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point of putting it on your head.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you're brave enough to. We just make the hat, we don't write your apology texts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Light Pink \/ White \/ Light Pink","offer_id":42012853305426,"sku":"3863036_16750","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012853338194,"sku":"3863036_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012853370962,"sku":"3863036_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Less_Naggin_More_Gaggin_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481913"},{"product_id":"new-rome-wasnt-burned-in-a-day-tesla-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when ancient history, corporate hubris, and a factory fire walk into a bar. Heavyweight cotton, full-color DTG print, and the kind of joke that makes people either laugh or quietly unfollow you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who read the news and cope with laughter instead of therapy. If you've ever watched a press conference and thought \"this is performance art,\" you're the target audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also does well at cookouts, game nights, and anywhere someone's about to say \"wait, is that real?\" The Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day design hits that sweet spot between clever and unhinged, which is basically our entire brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like you paid for a shirt, not a napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because dark humor isn't size-exclusive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we're chaotic, not tacky\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through every wash, not cracked and peeling after three spins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, you can machine wash it. We're not monsters.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis tee sits at the intersection of historical wordplay and modern tech satire, which means it'll land perfectly with some people and make others visibly uncomfortable. If both of those outcomes sound fun to you, you're in the right place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an anti-Elon shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a shirt about Rome. And fire. And a certain electric car company that keeps having both. Draw your own conclusions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton with a DTG print. Wash cold, tumble low, and it'll hold up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who hates Elon Musk?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe can't think of a better one. Wrap it or don't, the reaction will be the same.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016368754770,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016368787538,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016368820306,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016368853074,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016368885842,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016368918610,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016368951378,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Rome_Wasn_t_Burned_In_A_Day_T_Shirt_Funny_Offensive_Tesla_Tee.jpg?v=1762481927"},{"product_id":"it-was-only-a-kiss-judas-betraying-jesus-funny-easter-t-shirt","title":"It Was Only A Kiss - Judas Betraying Jesus Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe It Was Only A Kiss tee from Unethical Threads takes the most dramatic betrayal in history and soundtracks it with The Killers. Judas, Jesus, and Mr. Brightside on one shirt. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who know every word to Mr. Brightside and also sat through enough Sunday school to catch the reference immediately. It's the overlap of 2000s karaoke energy and childhood religious education. The kind of person who shows up to Easter brunch looking for a reaction. If your family group chat has ever gone silent because of something you wore, this one's for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (Judas-level betrayal comes in all sizes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that doesn't fade or crack, which is more than you can say for most friendships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, so it fits the same on Easter and every Sunday after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly, and that's kind of the point. Look, if someone at your Easter gathering can't handle a Mr. Brightside and Bible crossover, they were going to find something to be upset about anyway. This shirt doesn't punch down. It punches sideways, at a 2,000-year-old story that literally everyone knows. Wear it with confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Mr. Brightside?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's the Judas-Jesus kiss meets The Killers' biggest hit. Two betrayals, one shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the It Was Only A Kiss tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your family. It's biblically accurate and musically on point. Whether that flies at your table is between you and your relatives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Follow the care instructions and it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who loves memes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf they've ever sent a Mr. Brightside meme or made a Judas joke, yes. This is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016954581074,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016954613842,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016954646610,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016954679378,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016954712146,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016954744914,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016954777682,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/It_Was_Only_A_Kiss_Judas_Betraying_Jesus_Funny_Easter_Christian_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"legalize-cocaine-25-funny-gen-z-humor-meme-t-shirt","title":"Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee is Unethical Threads at peak irreverence. A parody shirt that says what your inner voice screams at every boring party. Wear it to a cookout, a festival, or just the grocery store if you're feeling particularly unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in the group chat. If your sense of humor has ever made someone audibly gasp at a family function, congratulations, you found your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee pairs well with poor decisions and an absolute refusal to read the room. It's the kind of shirt that either makes you the funniest person at the party or gets you uninvited from the next one. Both outcomes are acceptable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (everyone deserves to make questionable fashion choices)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck. Nothing fancy, just the right frame for the chaos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print for colors that stay loud long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable, because we know where this shirt is going\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift. Nothing says \"I know exactly who you are\" like handing someone a Legalize Cocaine tee at their birthday party in front of their parents.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a gag gift that people actually wear, which is the highest compliment a funny shirt can get. Perfect for white elephants, bachelor parties, or anyone on your list who you'd describe as \"a lot.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about legalizing cocaine?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a parody. You're wearing a joke, not running for office.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Legalize Cocaine 25' Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs comfortable, not boxy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a DTG print on heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLegally, yes. Socially, that's between you and whatever room you're walking into.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOnly if you want them to either become your best friend or never speak to you again. High risk, high reward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42019167371346,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167404114,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42019167436882,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42019167469650,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167502418,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167535186,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167567954,"sku":"Cocacoca-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019167600722,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019167633490,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019167666258,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019167699026,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019167731794,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019167764562,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019167797330,"sku":"Cocacoca-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Legalize_Cocaine_25_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"i-love-to-blow-bubbles-im-bubbles-funny-couples-shirts","title":"I Love To Blow Bubbles Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love To Blow Bubbles tee from Unethical Threads is one half of a matching couples set. The other half? The I'm Bubbles tee. If you need that explained, this isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho buys matching couples shirts unironically?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been together long enough that embarrassing each other in public is its own love language. You wear the I Love To Blow Bubbles tee, your partner wears the I'm Bubbles tee, and the rest of the bar does the math. It's a team sport.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a screen print\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because good jokes come in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because obviously\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds its color through wash cycles, not just the first three\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk so it still fits after laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The I Love To Blow Bubbles and I'm Bubbles combo is the kind of gift that gets a reaction at the party and actually gets worn afterward. Anniversary, Valentine's Day, \"just because you think it's funny.\" All valid reasons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the couples shirt set for people who think matching outfits are cringe unless the outfit is also a dirty joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo the I Love To Blow Bubbles and I'm Bubbles shirts come as a set?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey're sold separately so you can pick the right size for each person. Grab both to complete the joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe DTG print holds up through the wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it, but it's not fragile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for family gatherings?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your family. You know them better than we do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025734078546,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025734111314,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025734144082,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025734176850,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025734209618,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025734242386,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025734275154,"sku":"BlowBubbles-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025734307922,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025734340690,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025734373458,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025734406226,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025734438994,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025734471762,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025734504530,"sku":"BlowBubbles-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_To_Blow_Bubbles_I_m_Bubbles_Funny_Couples_Shirt_Black.jpg?v=1762481970"},{"product_id":"pope-leo-xiv-o-block-chicago-funny-meme-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Pope Leo XIV O Block Chicago Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Pope Leo XIV O Block Chicago Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what happens when the first American pope picks up his Chicago roots and the internet loses its mind. Vatican meets the South Side. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this just for Chicago people?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot even close. You don't need to know a single thing about O Block to appreciate the absolute chaos of the pope posted up with the boys. Chicago natives will catch the deep cut, everyone else will appreciate the audacity. Either way, this shirt hits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a napkin with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL (yes, we accommodate the whole congregation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because the pope would want it that way\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e directly into the fabric, so the colors don't fade when you actually wash it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, meaning your tee won't become a crop top after one spin cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the whole point of wearing Unethical Threads. The pope is from Chicago, the meme wrote itself, and we just had the good sense to put it on cotton. If someone at brunch clutches their pearls, that sounds like a them problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRuns true. It's a relaxed unisex fit, so if you're between sizes, either works. Check the size chart to get specific.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on from 2004. Colors hold up through the wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually about Pope Leo XIV?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. The first American pope, Robert Prevost, took the name Leo XIV. He's from Chicago. The internet did what it does. We made the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the shirt feel like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThick heavyweight cotton. Not the tissue-paper stuff you get at tourist shops. This one actually holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to church?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTechnically, yes. We can't stop you and honestly wouldn't want to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42043284717650,"sku":"Poblock-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42043284750418,"sku":"Poblock-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42043284783186,"sku":"Poblock-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42043284815954,"sku":"Poblock-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42043284848722,"sku":"Poblock-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42043284881490,"sku":"Poblock-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42043284914258,"sku":"Poblock-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/UNETHICALTHREADSWATERMARK.png?v=1762482093"},{"product_id":"sir-racha-sriracha-medieval-meme-graphic-joke-tee","title":"*NEW* Sir Racha Sriracha Medieval Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Sir Racha Sriracha Medieval Tee from Unethical Threads puts your favorite hot sauce in full plate armor. It's the dumbest, most historically inaccurate crossover nobody asked for, and you're going to wear the hell out of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying a shirt about medieval hot sauce?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with taste, and by taste we mean the kind that gets you weird looks at family dinner. You're in good company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Sir Racha tee lands with the person at the cookout who won't shut up about heat levels and also knows way too much about the Crusades. Sriracha fans, history nerds, pun enthusiasts, general chaos agents. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a promotional giveaway\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL, because knights come in all builds\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, as the king intended\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, not peeling off after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs nicely with actual sriracha stains (not a guarantee, just an observation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. If someone in your life puts sriracha on everything and thinks they're funny, this is the move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's specific enough to feel personal and weird enough that nobody else is getting them the same thing. That's the sweet spot for a gift. They'll know you actually thought about it, even if \"thinking about it\" took you thirty seconds on this page.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Sir Racha tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the design holds up through regular washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt affiliated with Sriracha the brand?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. Sir Racha is our own parody, a ridiculous medieval twist on the hot sauce aesthetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. 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No judgment here. Okay, a little judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e (yes, the big boys eat too)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for job interviews\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors hold up even after your questionable laundry habits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e, which is more than we can say for your reputation after wearing this\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's either the best gift someone's ever gotten or the reason you get uninvited from the family group chat. There is no middle ground.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person on your list has ever shotgunned a beer at an inappropriate time, you're golden. Great for birthdays, bachelor parties, or any event where someone's going to end up on a table.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the I'm Beersexual tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works whether you're built like a light beer or a stout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton holds its shape. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and it'll outlast most of your friendships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing soaks the ink into the fabric instead of sitting on top. 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This is your seasonal uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who have been online too long and have no plans to recover.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one hit hard with the chronically online crowd. The type who see a pumpkin spice latte and instantly think of the worst possible caption. You know who you are. 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