{"title":"Funny Spencer Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDiscover Unethical Threads' funny spencer shirts collection featuring bold, unapologetically funny designs. Each piece combines quality materials with humor that actually lands. Shop funny spencer shirts with confidence - sizes S-4XL, fast shipping, 30-day guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-spencer-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-spencer-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Spencer Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-mum-t-shirts\"\u003eFunny Mum T Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-football-mom-shirts\"\u003eFunny Football Mom Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Spencer Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-spencer-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"good-bush-bad-bush-george-w-bush-funny-inappropriate-trucker-hat","title":"Good Bush Bad Bush George W Bush Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Good Bush Bad Bush George W Bush Hat from Unethical Threads puts two very different meanings of \"bush\" on the same trucker hat and lets your brain sort it out. Presidential humor meets anatomy humor. You already know which one you noticed first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think presidential humor peaked somewhere between hanging chads and \"Mission Accomplished.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat works at barbecues, tailgates, dive bars, and anywhere a crowd can handle a joke that operates on two levels. If someone around you doesn't get it, that's honestly funnier than the hat itself. You'll spot the exact moment it clicks for them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e with full-color print that won't crack or fade on you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head stays cool while your humor stays questionable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most head sizes (even the ones full of bad ideas)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved bill trucker silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e because flat brims are a choice, and not the right one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size fits most\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for the friend who has strong opinions about both politics and personal grooming. Works for birthdays, White Elephant, Father's Day, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of someone specific. That person knows who they are. You know who they are. Just buy it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The snapback closure fits most head sizes comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel off?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is printed directly onto the front panel for color that stays put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a double entendre, not a felony. Most people will either laugh or stare, and both outcomes are fine by us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Good Bush Bad Bush mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt means exactly what you think it means. If you're not sure, this probably isn't your hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42012842524754,"sku":"4882852_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Good_Bush_Bad_Bush_Funny_Inappropriate_George_W_Bush_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481902"},{"product_id":"diet-cunt-funny-inappropriate-soda-humor-trucker-hat","title":"Diet Cunt Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Diet Cunt Hat by Unethical Threads is a soda parody trucker hat for people who like their humor carbonated and their headwear loud. If you've ever looked at a Diet Coke can and thought \"close, but not quite,\" this is your hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with zero interest in playing it safe at the barbecue. Your fantasy football league buddy, the girl at the tailgate everyone gravitates toward, the coworker who makes HR nervous on casual Friday. If you treat your hat rack like a comedy set list, the Diet Cunt Hat is your closer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e keeps its shape, because a floppy trucker hat is just a sad visor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't turn into a greenhouse by noon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most head sizes, no excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFull-color print\u003c\/strong\u003e on the front panel that holds up through sun, sweat, and regrettable decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, ready to wear straight out of the bag (we know you're not patient enough to shape it yourself)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one of the best gifts you can give under $30. The kind where they open it, pause for a second, then laugh so hard they forget to say thank you. Works for birthdays, bachelor parties, white elephants, or just \"I saw this and thought of you\" situations. That last one hits different anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Diet Cunt Hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFull-color digital print on the front panel. It holds up through regular wear and washing without cracking or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you're willing to own the room. Some rooms are easier than others.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012842852434,"sku":"1743497_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012842917970,"sku":"1743497_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012842885202,"sku":"1743497_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Diet_Cunt_Funny_Crazy_Soda_Parody_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481903"},{"product_id":"i-love-hating-funny-sayings-trucker-hat","title":"I Love Hating Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Hating hat from Unethical Threads says what your face already does. It's a trucker hat for people who've accepted that optimism is overrated and decided to accessorize accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are done pretending. The friend who shows up to brunch already annoyed, the coworker who answers \"how's it going\" with a stare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf hating things is your love language, this hat is fluent. It's not ironic. It's not a phase. You genuinely love hating, and now your head can finally say so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your patience)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for when your contempt runs hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most heads full of grievances\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays sharp without fading or flaking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePolyester\/nylon build\u003c\/strong\u003e that handles daily wear without falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best, actually. Everyone knows someone who runs on spite and iced coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand them the I Love Hating hat and watch their eyes light up for possibly the first time all year. It's the kind of gift that says \"I see you, and I respect the darkness.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured polyester foam front with mesh back panels. Lightweight, breathable, and built for daily wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is printed directly into the material so it stays sharp without fading or flaking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If HR already has a file on you, this hat probably won't make it worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012844720210,"sku":"3138608_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012844785746,"sku":"3138608_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012844752978,"sku":"3138608_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Hating_Funny_Sayings_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_Crazy_Mesh_Hat.jpg?v=1762481905"},{"product_id":"blackout-with-your-rack-out-funny-drinking-inappropriate-trucker-hat","title":"Blackout With Your Rack Out Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Blackout With Your Rack Out hat is an Unethical Threads trucker hat for people who treat day drinking like a competitive sport. Structured front, mesh back, and a slogan your mother will pretend she didn't read at Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe person at the tailgate who peaked in confidence three beers ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis hat pairs well with bad decisions, boat shoes you've never worn on a boat, and the kind of Sunday that starts at 10 AM and ends with a Lyft ride you don't remember requesting. It's not a cry for help. It's a lifestyle announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with classic trucker mesh back. Breathable enough for your hottest takes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e fits most heads, even the swollen ones.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant printed graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade after your memory does.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOne size fits most.\u003c\/strong\u003e If it doesn't fit, that's between you and your head.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex design.\u003c\/strong\u003e Bad decisions don't discriminate.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the gift that says \"I know you\" without saying \"I respect you.\" Perfect for bachelor parties, birthdays, or anyone who's ever texted \"on my way\" while still in bed. Wrap it or don't. The hat speaks for itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this hat offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. That's kind of the point. If \"Blackout With Your Rack Out\" makes someone clutch their pearls, they were never your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured foam front panels with breathable mesh back and an adjustable snapback closure. One size fits most.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print hold up?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The graphic is printed to last through washes, sweat, and whatever else you put this hat through.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your job. If you work at a brewery, absolutely. If you work at a law firm, maybe on casual Friday when you're quitting anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat unisex?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Bad decisions don't discriminate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":42012846456914,"sku":"4023687_15904","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red","offer_id":42012846489682,"sku":"4023687_15906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Blackout_With_Your_Rack_Out_Funny_Inappropriate_Drinking_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481907"},{"product_id":"my-gf-beats-me-hat-funny-relationship-gag-trucker-hat","title":"My GF Beats Me Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My GF Beats Me hat from Unethical Threads is a structured trucker hat for guys who've accepted that their relationship dynamic is public knowledge. Mesh back, snapback closure, and a front panel that says what your friends already know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Wearing This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGuys whose girlfriends are, let's say, competitive. At everything. Including arguments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the hat that lives on a dashboard, gets worn to every cookout, and somehow ends up in every group photo. If your buddy's girl runs the relationship with an iron fist (lovingly, of course), this is what you hand him for his birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape better than your excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e because your relationship is already suffocating enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads and egos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrisp, vibrant print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade after your 50th \"yes dear\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker hat profile.\u003c\/strong\u003e The kind your dad wore, but funnier\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gag Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gag gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I see your relationship clearly\" like handing someone a My GF Beats Me hat at their own birthday party. Works for bachelor parties, fantasy football losers, or just because. The recipient will either laugh immediately or get very quiet, and both reactions are correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print hold up?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe print is made to last. It won't crack, peel, or fade just because you wore it every day for a month straight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I actually wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat's the whole point. You'll get laughs, you'll get looks, and your girlfriend will have opinions. Wear it anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for my friend?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf your friend's girlfriend is the boss of the relationship (and everyone knows it), this is the gift. He'll hate that you're right and love the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847374418,"sku":"1238575_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847407186,"sku":"1238575_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847439954,"sku":"1238575_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ White \/ Light Pink","offer_id":42012847341650,"sku":"1238575_16750","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_GF_Beats_Me_Funny_Crazy_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_With_Dark_Humor.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"spitters-are-quitters-funny-inappropriate-sayings-hat-for-men","title":"Spitters Are Quitters Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Spitters Are Quitters hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people who've already made their decision and have no interest in revisiting it. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't your section of the internet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with a sense of humor and absolutely no filter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the hat you throw on at the cookout when you want your father-in-law to quietly reconsider the entire marriage. 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Smokers, ex-smokers, people who vape but pretend they don't, the coworker who takes eight smoke breaks a day. This is the shirt that says \"I see you\" without saying a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so go with your usual size. If you're between sizes, check the size chart on this page.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. We use DTG printing, which puts the ink directly into the fabric instead of sitting on top. It holds up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for family gatherings?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on your family. For most? No. For the fun ones? 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If you saw that story and your first thought was \"I need that on a shirt,\" congratulations, you're our people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who watched the Chewy news segment and immediately sent it to every group chat they're in. The overlap between \"follows local news for the chaos\" and \"owns too many graphic tees\" is a perfect circle, and you're standing in the middle of it. This isn't for people who need the joke explained. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a costume\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, we don't gatekeep)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're keeping at least one thing traditional here\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid through every wash, no cracking, no peeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, so what you order is what you get\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift for the friend who texted you the Chewy story at 2 AM. Birthdays, white elephants, \"I saw this and thought of you\" moments. This is a shirt that says you pay attention to what actually makes someone laugh, not just what's safe. Fair warning: your coworkers might have questions at the next casual Friday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat is the Chewy The Raccoon shirt about?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's based on the viral news story about Chewy, the raccoon found with a meth pipe. The internet lost its mind, and we turned it into a tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in. No cracking, no peeling, no fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on how you feel about raccoons and questionable life choices. 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If you've ever refreshed a product page 400 times, elbowed someone at a pop-up, or considered crimes for a blind box, this shirt just gets it. Wear the confession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone deep enough in the Labubu rabbit hole to know their spending is no longer rational. Collectors, resellers, people who have restock notifications turned on at 3 a.m.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever had to explain to a concerned loved one why you need another one, you already know this shirt is yours. It's not a cry for help. It's a lifestyle update.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it cost more than your last blind box (it didn't)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that stays vivid through every wash cycle you keep forgetting to run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuns true to size, so order your usual and get back to refreshing that restock page\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a Labubu collector?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect gift, mostly because they've already spent all their own money on Labubu.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight tee, solid fit, and a joke they'll immediately understand. Hand it over at the next restock line and watch them lose it. It's cheaper than actually buying them a Labubu, and honestly, more thoughtful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the I Would Dropkick A Child For A Labubu tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Plenty of room for your growing Labubu collection and your growing sense of shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Your commitment to chaos should last just as long.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually soft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton, but not stiff. Think substantial, not scratchy. You'll want to wear it, not just post in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this around kids?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. Whether you should is between you and your moral compass. We just make the shirts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Labubu product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is an Unethical Threads original. We're not affiliated with Pop Mart or Labubu. 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You're either laughing already or you're not our target audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think dark humor is a love language. The friend in your group chat who always has a story that shouldn't be told in public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the kind of shirt you wear to brunch and watch people read it twice. It hits that sweet spot between \"that's horrible\" and \"where did you get that.\" If your humor needs a disclaimer, welcome home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can take a beating (and so can your reputation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because you've already stuck yours out far enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds color through countless washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with bad decisions and a Baja Blast\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the right person, this is the funniest gift they'll get all year. For the wrong person, it's a cry for help they didn't ask for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know which friend this is for. The one with the mugshot story, the one who's been banned from at least one establishment. Buy it before you overthink it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. The DTG print holds its color through countless washes. The shirt will outlast whatever decisions led you to need it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAbsolutely not. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable, durable, and morally questionable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to Taco Bell?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can. 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It says exactly what you think it says. If Boeing's quality control and your weekend decisions have something in common, this one's for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who find airplane disasters and oral sex equally funny. Your chaotic queer friends. The person at the party who makes everyone do a double-take and then laugh until they choke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever been described as \"a lot,\" this fits. It's for the unhinged, the self-aware, and anyone who treats their personal life like a Boeing assembly line treats safety protocols.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can handle the weight of this joke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the text stays crisp through your walk of shame and the laundry after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (keeps the hickeys hidden, sort of)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk fabric, because at least your shirt won't have commitment issues\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Absolutely. That's the entire point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour conservative aunt, your HR department, anyone who still trusts Boeing with their lives. But the people who matter (your actual friends, strangers with taste, fellow deviants) are going to lose it. Wear it to brunch. Wear it to the airport if you want to become a TSA anecdote.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the 737 shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size, works on every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing bonds ink directly into the fabric fibers. It holds up wash after wash without cracking, peeling, or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they laugh at things they probably shouldn't, absolutely. Great for birthdays, Pride, white elephant exchanges, or just reminding someone you get their sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about the Boeing 737?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's referencing Boeing's well-documented mechanical issues, yes. And also sucking a guy off. It's a two-for-one situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat material is this made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. 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