{"title":"Funny Summer Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to Unethical Threads' funny summer shirts collection where humor meets premium craftsmanship. Our funny summer shirts feature original designs that refuse to play it safe, guaranteed to spark conversations. Available in sizes S-4XL with fast shipping and a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-summer-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-summer-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Summer Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-summer-holiday-t-shirts\"\u003eFunny Summer Holiday T Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-drinking-shirts-for-guys\"\u003eFunny Drinking Shirts For Guys\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Summer Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-summer-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"autism-powered-fuck-machine-hat","title":"Autism Powered Fuck Machine Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Autism Powered Fuck Machine Hat from Unethical Threads is for people who turned their diagnosis into a flex and refuse to be quiet about it. Structured cotton front, mesh back, and a statement that hits before you even open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeurodivergent people who own it completely. The ones who made peace with the way their brain works and decided the rest of the world can keep up or get out of the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know the friend who hyperfocused on something for 14 hours straight and emerged looking slightly feral? The one who can drop encyclopedic knowledge on their niche interest but forgot to eat lunch? That person already has this hat in their cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e that keep the message crisp and readable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e, because your brain already runs hot enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most head sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCurved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, pre-shaped so you're ready to go right out of the box\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDurable print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't crack, peel, or fade when you inevitably wear this three days in a row\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you actually know the person. This is a gift for someone who already makes these jokes about themselves, not a random grab for a white elephant exchange.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the right person (your neurodivergent partner, sibling, best friend), this is the kind of gift that gets worn immediately and often. They'll think of you every time someone in public does a visible double take.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo some people, absolutely. To the people it's made for, it's the funniest thing they own. Know your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat size is this trucker hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne size fits most. The adjustable snapback closure in the back handles the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print is made to hold up through regular washing. Just skip the dryer to keep it looking its best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually for autistic people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's for anyone who thinks it's funny. But it hits different when it's your own joke to make.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Light Pink \/ White \/ Light Pink","offer_id":42012844949586,"sku":"2311174_16750","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012844982354,"sku":"2311174_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012845015122,"sku":"2311174_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012845047890,"sku":"2311174_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/foam-trucker-hat-light-pink-white-light-pink-one-size-back-67ed525ae541a.jpg?v=1762481906"},{"product_id":"my-gf-beats-me-hat-funny-relationship-gag-trucker-hat","title":"My GF Beats Me Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My GF Beats Me hat from Unethical Threads is a structured trucker hat for guys who've accepted that their relationship dynamic is public knowledge. Mesh back, snapback closure, and a front panel that says what your friends already know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Wearing This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGuys whose girlfriends are, let's say, competitive. At everything. Including arguments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the hat that lives on a dashboard, gets worn to every cookout, and somehow ends up in every group photo. If your buddy's girl runs the relationship with an iron fist (lovingly, of course), this is what you hand him for his birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape better than your excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e because your relationship is already suffocating enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads and egos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrisp, vibrant print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade after your 50th \"yes dear\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker hat profile.\u003c\/strong\u003e The kind your dad wore, but funnier\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gag Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gag gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I see your relationship clearly\" like handing someone a My GF Beats Me hat at their own birthday party. Works for bachelor parties, fantasy football losers, or just because. The recipient will either laugh immediately or get very quiet, and both reactions are correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print hold up?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe print is made to last. It won't crack, peel, or fade just because you wore it every day for a month straight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I actually wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat's the whole point. You'll get laughs, you'll get looks, and your girlfriend will have opinions. Wear it anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for my friend?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf your friend's girlfriend is the boss of the relationship (and everyone knows it), this is the gift. He'll hate that you're right and love the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847374418,"sku":"1238575_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847407186,"sku":"1238575_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847439954,"sku":"1238575_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ White \/ Light Pink","offer_id":42012847341650,"sku":"1238575_16750","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_GF_Beats_Me_Funny_Crazy_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_With_Dark_Humor.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"horny-hungry-hopeless-new-york-yankees-logo-t-shirt-funny-new-york-yankees-meme-tee","title":"Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee from Unethical Threads is three moods, one logo, and zero coping mechanisms. The Yankees NY sits right inside \"Horny\" where, let's be honest, it was always meant to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYankees fans who've accepted that the team is a lifestyle and not a healthy one. Anyone who's described their entire personality as \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" and meant all three at the same time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't ironic. It's a confession on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a napkin after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for job interviews\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't bail after the first spin cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your commitment issues are your problem, not the shirt's.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a Yankees fan?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. For the Yankees fan in your life who has no filter and fewer boundaries. The friend who texts \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" at 2 AM like it's a weather report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it in tissue paper or don't. The shirt does the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the shirt actually have the Yankees logo on it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design uses a stylized NY that references the iconic Yankees look. It's a parody, not officially licensed MLB merch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Horny Hungry Hopeless tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's preshrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Yankees product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is an Unethical Threads original. Parody, not endorsed by MLB or the New York Yankees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print can handle it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42027405705298,"sku":"HHHope-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42027405738066,"sku":"HHHope-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42027405770834,"sku":"HHHope-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42027405803602,"sku":"HHHope-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42027405836370,"sku":"HHHope-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42027405869138,"sku":"HHHope-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42027405901906,"sku":"HHHope-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Horny_Hungry_Hopeless_New_York_Yankees_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481977"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-diet-coke-funny-soda-humor-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Coke Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Diet Coke tee is for people whose bloodstream is roughly 40% aspartame and 60% poor impulse control. Unethical Threads made this for the Diet Coke loyalists who don't just prefer it. They'd commit light felonies for it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who have a mini fridge exclusively for Diet Coke. If your coworkers know not to talk to you before the first can is cracked, this is already your personality, you just didn't have the shirt yet. The Dropkick series doesn't mess around, and neither do you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually holds up (not that tissue-thin stuff that goes see-through after one wash)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because Diet Coke addiction doesn't discriminate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, classic cut\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print, so the colors stay vivid long after your fifth refill of the day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because surprises are for birthday parties, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill This Offend Someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. That's sort of the point. If you're buying from Unethical Threads, you already know the assignment. Your aunt at Thanksgiving might have opinions. Your friends who also have a Diet Coke problem will just want one too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit. If you're between sizes, size up for a looser look or stay true for a standard fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually soft or is it stiff?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton, so it has substance. Not flimsy, not cardboard. It softens up after a couple washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do I wash this without ruining the print?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCold wash, inside out, tumble dry low. The DTG print holds up well. Don't iron directly on the graphic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this around kids?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can. Whether you should is a personal decision we're not qualified to make.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for a Diet Coke addict?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's basically a love letter to their addiction. So yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42039148249170,"sku":"KickDi-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42039148281938,"sku":"KickDi-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42039148314706,"sku":"KickDi-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42039148347474,"sku":"KickDi-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42039148380242,"sku":"KickDi-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42039148413010,"sku":"KickDi-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42039148445778,"sku":"KickDi-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Diet_Coke_Funny_Meme_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482069"},{"product_id":"new-i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-costco-hotdog-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* I Would Dropkick A Child For A Costco Hotdog Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Costco Hotdog tee from Unethical Threads says what everyone in the food court is already thinking. That $1.50 combo is worth defending with violence. This is your public oath of loyalty to the greatest deal in American food.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who understand that a Costco membership is a personality trait. If you've ever gotten emotional about a hotdog and soda for a dollar fifty, this shirt is basically your autobiography.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's also for the friend in your group who says the thing everyone else was too polite to say out loud. You know who you are. Your family knows too, and they're tired.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin you'd steal from the Costco food court\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e. Big hotdog energy comes in all sizes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we have some standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e that bonds ink directly to the fabric. The color holds up wash after wash, kind of like your commitment to that hotdog.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the perfect gift for someone you know well enough to insult. If you have to ask whether they'd find this funny, they're not the right person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut if you immediately thought of someone specific when you saw this, you already know the answer. Buy it. They'll wear it to Costco. It will be their whole identity for a week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Wash it however you want, it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes do you carry?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric fibers. The print stays put through regular washing. Your Costco devotion won't peel off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this about the actual Costco hotdog?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The $1.50 hotdog and soda combo. The one they've kept at that price since 1985. 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Check our return page for the details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come in kids' sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. And given the subject matter, that's probably for the best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42140160950354,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42140160983122,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42140161015890,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42140161048658,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42140161081426,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42140161114194,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42140161146962,"sku":"KickerCCC-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Coca_Cola_Funny_Graphic_Gift_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1757010792"},{"product_id":"i-need-a-hug-from-a-bad-bitch-t-shirt","title":"I Need A Hug From A Bad Bitch Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Need A Hug From A Bad Bitch tee from Unethical Threads is for people who need emotional support but have very specific standards about where it comes from. This is not a cry for help. It's a job posting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are somehow both emotionally damaged and incredibly picky about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou've got your post-breakup crowd, the perpetually single by choice (sure) crew, and the people who say \"I'm fine\" twelve times a day. If you've ever left someone on read and then wondered why nobody loves you, this shirt already knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. Nothing weird happening up top\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds color through the wash. Your standards might fade. The print won't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so it still fits after you stress-eat your way through a situationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Immediately yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift you get someone when a Hallmark card feels too sincere. Works for birthdays, breakups, or that friend who won't stop posting about their ex. If they need a hug from a bad bitch, the least you can do is point them in the right direction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit, available S through 4XL. Between sizes? Go up one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's a DTG print, meaning the ink is embedded in the fabric. It holds up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends on your crowd. We sell the shirt. What happens after that is between you and society.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat material is this made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Thick enough to feel substantial, soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes it shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's preshrunk. Wash it however you want. It's not going anywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42170630471762,"sku":"HugByB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42170630504530,"sku":"HugByB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42170630537298,"sku":"HugByB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42170630570066,"sku":"HugByB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42170630602834,"sku":"HugByB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42170630635602,"sku":"HugByB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42170630668370,"sku":"HugByB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42170630701138,"sku":"HugByB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42170630733906,"sku":"HugByB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42170630766674,"sku":"HugByB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42170630799442,"sku":"HugByB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42170630832210,"sku":"HugByB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42170630864978,"sku":"HugByB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42170630897746,"sku":"HugByB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Need_A_Hug_From_A_Bad_Bitch_Black_Shirt.jpg?v=1759770584"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/collections\/Funny_Summer_Shirts.jpg?v=1761607299","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/funny-summer-shirts.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}