{"title":"Funny Walking T Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eExplore our funny walking t shirts collection at Unethical Threads where inappropriate meets impeccable quality. These funny walking t shirts are crafted for those who appreciate humor that pushes boundaries. Sizes S-4XL, free shipping on all orders.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-walking-t-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-walking-t-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Walking T Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-f1-shirts\"\u003eFunny F1 Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/lustiges-t-shirt-frauen\"\u003eLustiges T Shirt Frauen\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Walking T Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-walking-t-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-love-hating-funny-sayings-trucker-hat","title":"I Love Hating Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Hating hat from Unethical Threads says what your face already does. It's a trucker hat for people who've accepted that optimism is overrated and decided to accessorize accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are done pretending. The friend who shows up to brunch already annoyed, the coworker who answers \"how's it going\" with a stare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf hating things is your love language, this hat is fluent. It's not ironic. It's not a phase. You genuinely love hating, and now your head can finally say so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape (unlike your patience)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for when your contempt runs hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most heads full of grievances\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVivid print\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays sharp without fading or flaking\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePolyester\/nylon build\u003c\/strong\u003e that handles daily wear without falling apart\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne of the best, actually. Everyone knows someone who runs on spite and iced coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand them the I Love Hating hat and watch their eyes light up for possibly the first time all year. It's the kind of gift that says \"I see you, and I respect the darkness.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the hat made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured polyester foam front with mesh back panels. Lightweight, breathable, and built for daily wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is printed directly into the material so it stays sharp without fading or flaking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your workplace. If HR already has a file on you, this hat probably won't make it worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012844720210,"sku":"3138608_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012844785746,"sku":"3138608_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012844752978,"sku":"3138608_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Hating_Funny_Sayings_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_Crazy_Mesh_Hat.jpg?v=1762481905"},{"product_id":"i-was-sober-for-11-years-then-i-turned-12-funny-drinking-hat","title":"I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for anyone whose relationship with alcohol has been longer than most of their friendships. Structured front, mesh back, and a joke that lands before you even open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone whose drinking story starts before their growth spurt. This hat is for the guy at the barbecue who brought his own cooler and has no intention of sharing. The friend who orders a round before anyone sits down. You know exactly who this is. You might be who this is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with a clean, crisp print that stays readable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't overheat while your jokes do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads (and most egos)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic that won't fade, crack, or apologize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e with a curved brim\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Gift or a Self-Portrait?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth, honestly. If you're buying this for someone, you already know they'll wear it to church just to see what happens. If you're buying it for yourself, you've earned it. Eleven years of sobriety is technically impressive even if the math is doing all the heavy lifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this hat come in different sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one size fits most with an adjustable snapback closure in the back. Fits the vast majority of adult heads comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print is made to hold up through regular wear and washing. Just don't throw it in the dryer on high and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured. The front panels hold their shape so the text stays readable and the hat looks clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your job and your HR department's sense of humor. We believe in you, but we also sell inappropriate hats for a reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847833170,"sku":"8334707_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847898706,"sku":"8334707_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847865938,"sku":"8334707_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Was_Sober_For_11_Years_Then_I_Turned_12_Funny_Drinking_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"working-hard-hardly-working-hard-while-working-funny-trucker-hat","title":"Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working hat from Unethical Threads is what happens when your brain tries to explain your work ethic and just gives up halfway through. A trucker hat for people whose productivity is best described as a beautiful, circular paradox.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've mastered the ancient art of looking busy. Remote workers, middle managers who schedule meetings about meetings, and anyone whose LinkedIn says \"grinding\" while their screen time report says otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever toggled your Slack status to active while watching YouTube, this hat was literally made for you. Wear it to the office. Wear it on the Zoom call where you're definitely paying attention. Let the text do the talking so you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e with foam core that holds its shape (unlike your ambition after lunch)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow, because even pretending to work up a sweat counts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e that fits most head sizes, one size, minimal commitment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVibrant sublimation print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade, even when your motivation does\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex fit\u003c\/strong\u003e because slacking transcends gender\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift for a Coworker?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best passive-aggressive gift ever invented. Perfect for Secret Santa, retirement parties, or just leaving on someone's desk without a word.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, if you know someone who says \"let's circle back\" more than three times a day, you owe them this hat. It's cheaper than therapy and way more accurate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does Working Hard Hardly Working Hard While Working mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt means exactly what it sounds like, which is nothing and everything at the same time. Your work ethic, described by someone whose brain buffered mid-sentence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Snapback closure fits most head sizes. One size, minimal commitment required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me in trouble at work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on your boss's sense of humor. If they laugh, you're golden. If they don't, at least you'll look good in the exit interview.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow do I wash this hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHand wash cold, air dry. Don't throw it in the dryer unless you want a hat that fits your kid instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012848554066,"sku":"1725152_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012848586834,"sku":"1725152_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012848619602,"sku":"1725152_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Working_Hard_Hard_While_Working_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481910"},{"product_id":"it-was-only-a-kiss-judas-betraying-jesus-funny-easter-t-shirt","title":"It Was Only A Kiss - Judas Betraying Jesus Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe It Was Only A Kiss tee from Unethical Threads takes the most dramatic betrayal in history and soundtracks it with The Killers. Judas, Jesus, and Mr. Brightside on one shirt. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who know every word to Mr. Brightside and also sat through enough Sunday school to catch the reference immediately. It's the overlap of 2000s karaoke energy and childhood religious education. The kind of person who shows up to Easter brunch looking for a reaction. If your family group chat has ever gone silent because of something you wore, this one's for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (Judas-level betrayal comes in all sizes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that doesn't fade or crack, which is more than you can say for most friendships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, so it fits the same on Easter and every Sunday after\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly, and that's kind of the point. Look, if someone at your Easter gathering can't handle a Mr. Brightside and Bible crossover, they were going to find something to be upset about anyway. This shirt doesn't punch down. It punches sideways, at a 2,000-year-old story that literally everyone knows. Wear it with confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Mr. Brightside?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's the Judas-Jesus kiss meets The Killers' biggest hit. Two betrayals, one shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the It Was Only A Kiss tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your family. It's biblically accurate and musically on point. Whether that flies at your table is between you and your relatives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Follow the care instructions and it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who loves memes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf they've ever sent a Mr. Brightside meme or made a Judas joke, yes. This is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016954581074,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016954613842,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016954646610,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016954679378,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016954712146,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016954744914,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016954777682,"sku":"ItWasOnly-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/It_Was_Only_A_Kiss_Judas_Betraying_Jesus_Funny_Easter_Christian_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481928"},{"product_id":"tariff-my-clothes-funny-uncle-sam-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Tariff My Clothes Uncle Sam Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eUncle Sam ripping his shirt off like he's on the cover of a bodice ripper, except the plot is about tariffs. That's the Tariff My Clothes Uncle Sam Tee from Unethical Threads. Trade policy has never looked this good (or this stupid).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's buying a tariff shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who find the intersection of economics and shirtless patriotism hilarious. So, everyone at your Fourth of July cookout who's been doom-scrolling trade news.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlso works for the friend who won't stop talking about supply chains at dinner. Or the coworker who has opinions about Section 301. You know the one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper souvenir\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because Uncle Sam's gains are inclusive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're wearing a political thirst trap, not a V-neck at the club\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your clothes are getting tariffed, not shrunk.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. For the person in your life who sends you tariff memes at 2 AM, this is better than a birthday card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor your very serious economist uncle, maybe read the room first. But honestly, if someone can't laugh at Uncle Sam going full Fabio over trade policy, that's their problem, not yours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. The only thing getting smaller is your faith in international trade agreements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Tariff My Clothes tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in wash after wash. Uncle Sam stays crispy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt political?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a shirtless Uncle Sam ripping his clothes off over tariffs. You tell us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a government building?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically yes. 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It just hadn't shipped yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up to repeated questioning from strangers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e (your browser history, unfortunately, is not)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. That's the point. 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But technically, you could always claim you're talking about motorcycles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe person at every cookout who says the thing everyone was thinking. Your coworker whose Slack messages make HR nervous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever had to explain yourself to a family member and genuinely enjoyed doing it, this is your shirt. You weren't going to be on time anyway. 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If your entire personality runs on 23 flavors and bad decisions, this is the shirt that finally says it out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who have replaced water with Dr Pepper and aren't sorry about it. The kind of person whose fridge has a dedicated Dr Pepper shelf, whose coworkers know not to touch the mini fridge stash, and who considers \"it's 10 AM\" to be a perfectly fine time for their fourth one. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it costs more than your soda habit (it doesn't)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because even degenerates have standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print for color that won't bail after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable. Your Dr Pepper addiction, unfortunately, is not.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I give this as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. If someone in your life won't shut up about Dr Pepper, this is the gift that validates their whole identity. It works for birthdays, holidays, or just a random Tuesday where you want to make someone's week. Fair warning: they will wear it constantly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually have anything to do with Dr Pepper the brand?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. This is a parody humor tee. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by Dr Pepper or any beverage company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Dr Pepper Powered Fuck Machine Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS, M, L, XL, 2XL, 3XL, and 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe DTG print is designed to hold up. Wash inside out on cold, tumble dry low, and the colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate to wear in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your definition of appropriate. We'd wear it to brunch. 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