{"title":"Funny Weight Loss Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnethical Threads presents our funny weight loss shirts collection - where offensive meets fashionable. Each design delivers laughs and premium comfort. Shop funny weight loss shirts today - sizes S-4XL, 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-funny-weight-loss-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-funny-weight-loss-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Funny Weight Loss Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-weight-lifting-shirts\"\u003eFunny Weight Lifting Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-game-t-shirts\"\u003eFunny Game T-Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Funny Weight Loss Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-weight-loss-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"i-need-moral-support-oral-funny-trucker-hats","title":"I Need Moral Support Oral Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Need Moral Support Oral Hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for people whose coping mechanisms are, let's say, creative. Slap it on your head and let everyone at the bar piece it together on their own. No explanation needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This Hat?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in humor around age 14 and never looked back. This is the hat you throw on when subtlety has left the building entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friends will laugh. Your coworkers will have questions. HR might draft a very polite email. The bartender will pour you a double because they respect the commitment. Honestly, it filters people faster than a dating app bio.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape instead of going limp after a week\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMesh back panels\u003c\/strong\u003e for airflow (you'll need the ventilation when people start reading your hat)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads and most levels of poor judgment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e that stays crisp and vibrant through regular washing, no cracking or fading\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic curved bill\u003c\/strong\u003e, pre-curved so you don't have to pretend you're at a fitting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you know the person well enough that they won't block your number afterward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBachelor parties, birthdays, white elephant exchanges where you actually want to win. Father's Day if your dad is cool like that. Just make sure the recipient has the kind of sense of humor that doesn't come with a disclaimer attached.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat size is this trucker hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne size fits most. The adjustable snapback closure in the back handles the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The graphic is printed to last through regular washing without cracking, peeling, or losing color.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you value continued employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat material is the hat?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured foam front panel with breathable mesh back panels. Classic trucker hat build.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I return it if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck our return policy for the hat itself. The social consequences are on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Red","offer_id":42012851863634,"sku":"6910298_15906","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012851896402,"sku":"6910298_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012851929170,"sku":"6910298_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012851961938,"sku":"6910298_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Need_Moral_Oral_Support_Funny_Inappropriate_Trucker_Hat.jpg?v=1762481913"},{"product_id":"new-rome-wasnt-burned-in-a-day-tesla-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day Tesla Tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when ancient history, corporate hubris, and a factory fire walk into a bar. Heavyweight cotton, full-color DTG print, and the kind of joke that makes people either laugh or quietly unfollow you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who read the news and cope with laughter instead of therapy. If you've ever watched a press conference and thought \"this is performance art,\" you're the target audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt also does well at cookouts, game nights, and anywhere someone's about to say \"wait, is that real?\" The Rome Wasn't Burned In A Day design hits that sweet spot between clever and unhinged, which is basically our entire brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like you paid for a shirt, not a napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because dark humor isn't size-exclusive\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we're chaotic, not tacky\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through every wash, not cracked and peeling after three spins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, you can machine wash it. We're not monsters.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's sort of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis tee sits at the intersection of historical wordplay and modern tech satire, which means it'll land perfectly with some people and make others visibly uncomfortable. If both of those outcomes sound fun to you, you're in the right place.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an anti-Elon shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a shirt about Rome. And fire. And a certain electric car company that keeps having both. Draw your own conclusions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works on every body type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton with a DTG print. Wash cold, tumble low, and it'll hold up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who hates Elon Musk?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWe can't think of a better one. Wrap it or don't, the reaction will be the same.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42016368754770,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42016368787538,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42016368820306,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42016368853074,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42016368885842,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42016368918610,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42016368951378,"sku":"RomeBurn-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Rome_Wasn_t_Burned_In_A_Day_T_Shirt_Funny_Offensive_Tesla_Tee.jpg?v=1762481927"},{"product_id":"coming-out-of-my-cave-t-shirt-funny-jesus-easter-music-parody-tee","title":"Coming Out Of My Cave - Lyrics Jesus Easter Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Coming Out Of My Cave tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when Mr. Brightside and the Easter story collide at full speed. Jesus, emerging from the tomb, set to the most dramatic lyrics of the 2000s. It's the crossover nobody asked for and everybody needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's ever heard Mr. Brightside at a party and immediately thought about the resurrection. So, a very specific and deeply unwell group of people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your sense of humor lives at the intersection of church camp and indie rock, this shirt was made for you. It plays just as well at Easter brunch as it does at a concert where you're three beers deep and feeling spiritual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after three washes like that shirt you got at a youth group retreat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because not everything needs to be complicated\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in even after your mom insists on washing it in hot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with cargo shorts, communion wine, and poor life decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot really. It's more \"confuse your pastor\" than \"get kicked out of church.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe beauty of Coming Out Of My Cave is that it works on multiple levels. Music fans get the Mr. Brightside reference. Church people get the Easter bit. And the people who get both? Those are your people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt just for Easter?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. The resurrection is eternal and so is Mr. Brightside. Wear it year-round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Coming Out Of My Cave tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. Colors stay put.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good Easter gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf the person you're buying for has ever sung Mr. Brightside at karaoke and also went to Sunday school, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42019374727250,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42019374760018,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42019374792786,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42019374825554,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42019374858322,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42019374891090,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42019374923858,"sku":"ComingCave-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Coming_Out_Of_My_Cave_Jesus_Easter_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481929"},{"product_id":"i-love-miners-t-shirt-funny-minecraft-gen-z-humor-tee","title":"I Love Miners Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Love Miners tee from Unethical Threads takes a perfectly innocent gaming reference and lets your brain do the rest. Pixelated Minecraft design up front, plausible deniability nowhere to be found. You already know if this shirt is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Buying This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGamers, degens, and people whose search history would make a therapist quit. This is the shirt you wear when you want to see who in the room is paying attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks great at family gatherings if you hate being invited to family gatherings. Also a certified hit in any group chat screenshot. Wear it to a Minecraft LAN party and become either the hero or the villain, no in-between.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a napkin with a graphic on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e so yes, we got you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, classic. Nothing weird happening up top (just on the front)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e, because surprises are for birthdays, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if your goal is making someone laugh, then immediately look around the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for white elephant exchanges, gamer birthdays, or anyone who thinks \"appropriate\" is more of a spectrum than a rule. Wrap it, hand it over, deny everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Love Miners shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk. Wash it however you want, it'll hold up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Minecraft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is Minecraft-inspired. What you tell people it means is entirely your business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print lasts longer that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me weird looks?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42024746778706,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42024746811474,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42024746844242,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42024746877010,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42024746909778,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42024746942546,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42024746975314,"sku":"LoveMisse-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Love_Miners_T_Shirt_Funny_Offensive_Minecraft_Tee.jpg?v=1762481966"},{"product_id":"i-come-in-peace-t-shirt-funny-matching-couples-im-tee","title":"I Come In Peace Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Come In Peace tee from Unethical Threads is one half of the least subtle couples set on the internet. You wear this. Your person wears the I'm Peace tee. The joke lands before you even sit down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes it come with the matching shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The I Come In Peace tee and the I'm Peace tee are sold separately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGrab both, hand one to your partner, and let the joke do its thing. It's the kind of matching outfit that says \"we're fun\" instead of \"we share a login to everything.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, because everyone deserves to make bad jokes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the graphic won't crack, peel, or ghost after washing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs with the I'm Peace tee, sold separately, because we're not running a charity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good couples gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know the couple, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBuy both tees, throw them in a gift bag, and become the most legendary gift-giver at any shower, anniversary, or random Tuesday. Just make sure the recipients can take a joke. Actually, make sure their parents can take a joke too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the I Come In Peace shirt come with the I'm Peace shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo, they're sold separately. Grab both for the full effect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe graphic is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so it won't crack, peel, or fade into a sad ghost of itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this without the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOf course. It's still a funny shirt on its own. The matching set just turns it up to eleven.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025732079698,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025732112466,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025732145234,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025732178002,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025732210770,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025732243538,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025732276306,"sku":"ComePeace1-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025732309074,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025732341842,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025732374610,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025732407378,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025732440146,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025732472914,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025732505682,"sku":"ComePeace1-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Come_In_Peace_I_m_Peace_Funny_Couples_White_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481969"},{"product_id":"horny-hungry-hopeless-new-york-yankees-logo-t-shirt-funny-new-york-yankees-meme-tee","title":"Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Horny Hungry Hopeless New York Yankees Logo Tee from Unethical Threads is three moods, one logo, and zero coping mechanisms. 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It's a confession on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a napkin after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for job interviews\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't bail after the first spin cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your commitment issues are your problem, not the shirt's.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a Yankees fan?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. For the Yankees fan in your life who has no filter and fewer boundaries. The friend who texts \"horny, hungry, and hopeless\" at 2 AM like it's a weather report.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it in tissue paper or don't. The shirt does the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the shirt actually have the Yankees logo on it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design uses a stylized NY that references the iconic Yankees look. It's a parody, not officially licensed MLB merch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Horny Hungry Hopeless tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's preshrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Yankees product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is an Unethical Threads original. Parody, not endorsed by MLB or the New York Yankees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print can handle it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42027405705298,"sku":"HHHope-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42027405738066,"sku":"HHHope-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42027405770834,"sku":"HHHope-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42027405803602,"sku":"HHHope-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42027405836370,"sku":"HHHope-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42027405869138,"sku":"HHHope-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42027405901906,"sku":"HHHope-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Horny_Hungry_Hopeless_New_York_Yankees_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481977"},{"product_id":"protect-the-dolls-t-shirt-pedro-pascal-save-transgender-tee","title":"Protect The Dolls Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Protect The Dolls tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who watched Pedro Pascal become the internet's protective dad and thought \"yeah, that's a whole identity.\" Trans rights, feminist energy, and the kind of feral loyalty that only chronically online people understand. Wear it like you mean it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't need the meme explained to them. If you've ever typed \"protect them at all costs\" in a group chat, congratulations, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt hits different at pride, at brunch, at the grocery store when you just need the world to know where you stand. The kind of shirt that finds its people without trying. You'll lock eyes with a stranger across the bar and just nod. That's the whole interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station tissue\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because gatekeeping sizes is embarrassing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I woke up like this\" energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't quietly abandon you after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSoft enough to sleep in\u003c\/strong\u003e (we won't judge)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes. If someone in your life has strong opinions about Pedro Pascal, trans rights, or both, you just found their next favorite shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of gift that makes someone say \"you actually get me.\" Works for birthdays, pride, or just a random Tuesday when you want to be someone's favorite person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Protect The Dolls tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in. No fading, no cracking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Pedro Pascal?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you know, you know. It's about protecting who needs protecting. Pedro just happens to be the patron saint of that energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough for all day, sturdy enough that it won't fall apart on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your HR department has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42029904035922,"sku":"ProDolls-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42029904068690,"sku":"ProDolls-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42029904101458,"sku":"ProDolls-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42029904134226,"sku":"ProDolls-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42029904166994,"sku":"ProDolls-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42029904199762,"sku":"ProDolls-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42029904232530,"sku":"ProDolls-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Protect_The_Dolls_Pedro_Pascal_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481982"},{"product_id":"im-not-a-gorilla-but-i-can-beat-off-100-men-shirt","title":"I'm Not A Gorilla But I Can Beat Off 100 Men Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Not A Gorilla But I Can Beat Off 100 Men shirt is Unethical Threads doing what we do best: taking something viral and making it so much worse. The internet argued about how many men a gorilla could fight. We heard something different.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe guy at the gym who won't shut up about gorilla grip strength. The friend who makes every group chat worse on purpose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBasically anyone who saw the gorilla meme and immediately went to the darkest possible place. This shirt is for people who treat \"inappropriate\" as a personality trait, not a warning label.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that survives leg day and your mother's disappointment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in S through 4XL, because poor decisions come in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid wash after wash (the joke, unfortunately, also doesn't fade)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same whether you're bulking or coping\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift if you want to be remembered forever. This is what you give when a gift card feels too safe and you want to see genuine shock on someone's face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIdeal for gym rats, meme addicts, or anyone whose sense of humor peaked in a group chat at 2 AM. Fair warning: they will wear it everywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The design is DTG printed directly into the fabric, so colors hold up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on how fast people read it. Most will do a double take. Some will laugh. A few will never speak to you again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to the gym?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can and you should. Heavyweight cotton holds up to a full session, and the shirt basically guarantees nobody asks to work in with you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow long does shipping take?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost orders ship within 3 to 5 business days. You'll get a tracking email once it's on the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42039149854802,"sku":"GorBeato-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42039149887570,"sku":"GorBeato-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42039149920338,"sku":"GorBeato-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42039149953106,"sku":"GorBeato-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42039149985874,"sku":"GorBeato-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42039150018642,"sku":"GorBeato-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42039150051410,"sku":"GorBeato-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42039150084178,"sku":"GorBeato-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42039150116946,"sku":"GorBeato-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42039150149714,"sku":"GorBeato-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42039150182482,"sku":"GorBeato-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42039150215250,"sku":"GorBeato-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42039150248018,"sku":"GorBeato-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42039150280786,"sku":"GorBeato-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Not_A_Gorila_But_I_Can_Beat_Off_A_Hundred_Men_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482071"},{"product_id":"faguette-baguette-funny-lgbtq-pride-month-meme-shirt","title":"*NEW* Faguette Baguette LGBTQ Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Faguette Baguette tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. LGBTQ pride meets French bakery wordplay on a shirt with absolutely no chill. If you need it explained, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think the intersection of bread puns and queer joy is peak comedy. The kind of person who'd rock this at Pride, at brunch, or at Thanksgiving dinner just to watch an uncle quietly Google something under the table. It's a personality test printed on cotton.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't feel like a paper napkin with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in S through 4XL, because funny comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, keeping it classic while the graphic handles the chaos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay locked in (your opinions will fade before this does)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with a strong drink and stronger opinions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you know the person. This isn't a safe Secret Santa pick. 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Follow the care instructions and it holds up fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends entirely on your workplace. If your HR department has a sense of humor, go for it. 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The kind of shirt you wear when you're up $200 and conveniently forget about last weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can survive a long night at the table\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (the only safe bet you'll make today)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that actually lasts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, so it still fits after a losing streak stress-eating session\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a gambler?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, and they'll love it more than their last parlay loved them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for birthdays, bachelor parties, or as a subtle intervention nobody will take seriously. 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And yet here we are. It's dumb, it's flirty, and you already know if this is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think puns are the highest form of comedy. Honestly, they might be right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one lands especially well at bars, travel meetups, and anywhere someone might appreciate the intersection of world geography and deeply questionable flirting. Your mom will hate it. That's a feature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that thin see-through stuff\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because bad jokes come in all sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay locked in, wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, because surprises are for pickup lines, not laundry day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. If you know someone who texts pickup lines to their partner unironically, this is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks for birthdays, Valentine's Day, or any anniversary where you want to be funny and slightly inappropriate. Just know the recipient before you wrap it. 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BJJ guys who want their wardrobe to match their ground game energy, comedy nerds, and Jewish friends who've been waiting for merch at the exact intersection of grappling and guilt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the shirt that lives in your gym bag and earns more compliments than your actual technique.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that won't disintegrate after a few wash cycles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because grapplers come in every weight class\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck (no weird collars happening here)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors outlast your cardio\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, because surprises belong on the mat, not in the dryer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a pun. A really good one, but still a pun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you can't laugh at wordplay this clean, you might be overthinking it. The people who actually train think it's hilarious. The people who don't train were never buying a BJJ shirt anyway. Everyone in the middle just wants to know where you got it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Jew Jitsu Tee run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a relaxed unisex fit, so it's comfortable without being baggy. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people grab their usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing means the design stays sharp no matter how many times you wash it. Your gym attendance might fade, but the shirt won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I train in this shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically yes, but save it for off the mat. Gi or rashguard for rolling, Jew Jitsu Tee for everything else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person trains BJJ or appreciates a sharp pun, absolutely. If they're easily offended, maybe grab them a candle instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Plenty of room whether you're a featherweight or a super heavyweight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42160659365970,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42160659398738,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42160659431506,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42160659464274,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160659497042,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160659529810,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160659562578,"sku":"Jejiusu-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42160659595346,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42160659628114,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42160659660882,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42160659693650,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160659726418,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160659759186,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160659791954,"sku":"Jejiusu-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Jew_Jitsu_Shirt.jpg?v=1758825705"},{"product_id":"dont-let-me-do-shots-or-coke-shirt","title":"Don't Let Me Do Shots Or Coke Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Don't Let Me Do Shots Or Coke tee is your pre-game disclaimer printed on cotton. Unethical Threads made this for the person in every friend group who needs a handler, a Gatorade, and maybe a lawyer by 1 AM.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe person whose Uber rating is below 4.5 and whose bar tab has its own zip code. You know exactly who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friends have been saying \"someone needs to watch you\" for years, and this tee finally puts it in writing. It's less of a fashion choice and more of a public service announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can survive your worst nights out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because at least something about you should be classic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e that keeps its color longer than you keep your composure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e, which is good because you're going to need that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift. If someone in your life has ever sent a 3 AM text they had to apologize for at brunch, this is their uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of gift that makes them laugh, then pause, then go \"wait, what are you trying to say.\" Perfect for birthdays, bachelor parties, or an intervention disguised as a present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Don't Let Me Do Shots Or Coke tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG print holds up wash after wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it, but it doesn't need much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about drugs?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's about whatever you need it to be about. We don't judge. That's kind of our whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a family event?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is a different question. Read the room, or don't. 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