{"title":"Grappige T Shirts","description":"\u003cstyle\u003e\n.collection-intro {margin: 0 0 15px 0;}\n.collection-intro p {margin: 0 0 15px 0; line-height: 1.6;}\n.trust-signals {background: #e8f5e9; padding: 12px; border-radius: 6px; text-align: center; font-size: 13px; margin: 10px 0 15px 0;}\n.desc-collapsed {max-height: 0; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s ease;}\n.desc-expanded {max-height: 5000px;}\n.read-more-btn {background: #3498db; color: white; border: none; padding: 10px 20px; border-radius: 5px; cursor: pointer; font-size: 14px; margin: 10px 0 20px 0; font-weight: 600;}\n.read-more-btn:hover {background: #2980b9;}\n\u003c\/style\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv class=\"collection-intro\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to Unethical Threads' grappige t shirts collection where humor meets premium craftsmanship. Our grappige t shirts feature original designs that refuse to play it safe, guaranteed to spark conversations. Available in sizes S-4XL with fast shipping and a 30-day satisfaction guarantee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"trust-signals\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Free Shipping On All Orders\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ 30-Day Guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e | \u003cstrong\u003e✓ Sizes S-4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cbutton class=\"read-more-btn\" onclick=\"var desc = document.getElementById('collection-desc-grappige-t-shirts'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-collapsed'); desc.classList.toggle('desc-expanded'); this.textContent = desc.classList.contains('desc-expanded') ? 'Show Less ▲' : 'Read More ▼';\"\u003eRead More ▼\u003c\/button\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv id=\"collection-desc-grappige-t-shirts\" class=\"desc-collapsed\"\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eAbout Our Grappige T Shirts Collection\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePremium Quality \u0026amp; Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect Occasions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Choose Unethical Threads\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelated Collections:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/funny-shirts\"\u003eComplete Funny Shirts Collection\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/grappige-dames-t-shirts\"\u003eGrappige Dames T Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e | \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/grappige-heren-t-shirts\"\u003eGrappige Heren T Shirts\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"CollectionPage\",\n  \"name\": \"Grappige T Shirts\",\n  \"url\": \"https:\/\/UnethicalThreads.com\/collections\/grappige-t-shirts\"\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"my-gf-beats-me-hat-funny-relationship-gag-trucker-hat","title":"My GF Beats Me Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My GF Beats Me hat from Unethical Threads is a structured trucker hat for guys who've accepted that their relationship dynamic is public knowledge. Mesh back, snapback closure, and a front panel that says what your friends already know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's Actually Wearing This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGuys whose girlfriends are, let's say, competitive. At everything. Including arguments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the hat that lives on a dashboard, gets worn to every cookout, and somehow ends up in every group photo. If your buddy's girl runs the relationship with an iron fist (lovingly, of course), this is what you hand him for his birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured foam front panel\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds its shape better than your excuses\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e because your relationship is already suffocating enough\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads and egos\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrisp, vibrant print\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fade after your 50th \"yes dear\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker hat profile.\u003c\/strong\u003e The kind your dad wore, but funnier\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gag Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gag gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I see your relationship clearly\" like handing someone a My GF Beats Me hat at their own birthday party. Works for bachelor parties, fantasy football losers, or just because. The recipient will either laugh immediately or get very quiet, and both reactions are correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat adjustable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Snapback closure in the back fits most head sizes. One size, minimal drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print hold up?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe print is made to last. It won't crack, peel, or fade just because you wore it every day for a month straight.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I actually wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat's the whole point. You'll get laughs, you'll get looks, and your girlfriend will have opinions. Wear it anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for my friend?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf your friend's girlfriend is the boss of the relationship (and everyone knows it), this is the gift. He'll hate that you're right and love the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847374418,"sku":"1238575_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847407186,"sku":"1238575_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847439954,"sku":"1238575_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Pink \/ White \/ Light Pink","offer_id":42012847341650,"sku":"1238575_16750","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_GF_Beats_Me_Funny_Crazy_Trucker_Hat_For_Men_With_Dark_Humor.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"i-was-sober-for-11-years-then-i-turned-12-funny-drinking-hat","title":"I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Was Sober For 11 Years Then I Turned 12 hat from Unethical Threads is a trucker hat for anyone whose relationship with alcohol has been longer than most of their friendships. Structured front, mesh back, and a joke that lands before you even open your mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone whose drinking story starts before their growth spurt. This hat is for the guy at the barbecue who brought his own cooler and has no intention of sharing. The friend who orders a round before anyone sits down. You know exactly who this is. You might be who this is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructured cotton front panels\u003c\/strong\u003e with a clean, crisp print that stays readable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBreathable mesh back\u003c\/strong\u003e so your head doesn't overheat while your jokes do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdjustable snapback closure\u003c\/strong\u003e, one size fits most heads (and most egos)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePrinted graphic that won't fade, crack, or apologize\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic trucker silhouette\u003c\/strong\u003e with a curved brim\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Gift or a Self-Portrait?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth, honestly. If you're buying this for someone, you already know they'll wear it to church just to see what happens. If you're buying it for yourself, you've earned it. Eleven years of sobriety is technically impressive even if the math is doing all the heavy lifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this hat come in different sizes?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's one size fits most with an adjustable snapback closure in the back. Fits the vast majority of adult heads comfortably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The print is made to hold up through regular wear and washing. Just don't throw it in the dryer on high and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this hat structured or floppy?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructured. The front panels hold their shape so the text stays readable and the hat looks clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on your job and your HR department's sense of humor. We believe in you, but we also sell inappropriate hats for a reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ White \/ Black","offer_id":42012847833170,"sku":"8334707_15908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":42012847898706,"sku":"8334707_15905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Royal \/ Red","offer_id":42012847865938,"sku":"8334707_15909","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Was_Sober_For_11_Years_Then_I_Turned_12_Funny_Drinking_Trucker_Hat_For_Men.jpg?v=1762481909"},{"product_id":"im-fucking-stupid-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-matching-couples-tee","title":"I'm Fucking Stupid Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Fucking Stupid tee from Unethical Threads is the other half of the most honest couples shirt set on the internet. One of you wears \"I'm Stupid.\" The other wears this. We both know which one you're buying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho wears the \"I'm Fucking Stupid\" shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe one who lost the argument. Or the one who knows they're the reason the other person needs therapy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEither way, this is the self-aware pick in the matching set. You and your partner both know the truth. This shirt just makes it public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can handle your bad decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're classy like that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that won't quit before you do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable.\u003c\/strong\u003e Unlike your reputation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good couples gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best couples gift if your relationship runs on roasting each other.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePair it with the \"I'm Stupid\" tee and you've got the most honest matching set at any cookout, bar, or family gathering that's about to get uncomfortable. If your partner can't take the joke, that's a bigger problem than the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come with the matching \"I'm Stupid\" shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo, this listing is for the \"I'm Fucking Stupid\" tee only. The \"I'm Stupid\" shirt is sold separately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the I'm Fucking Stupid shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Wash inside out on cold and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this without the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbsolutely. It works as a solo statement too. Some truths don't need a partner to land.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025728639058,"sku":"Stupid22-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025728671826,"sku":"Stupid22-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025728704594,"sku":"Stupid22-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025728737362,"sku":"Stupid22-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025728770130,"sku":"Stupid22-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025728802898,"sku":"Stupid22-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025728835666,"sku":"Stupid22-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025728868434,"sku":"Stupid22-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025728901202,"sku":"Stupid22-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025728933970,"sku":"Stupid22-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025728966738,"sku":"Stupid22-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025728999506,"sku":"Stupid22-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025729032274,"sku":"Stupid22-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025729065042,"sku":"Stupid22-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Fucking_Stupid_T_Shirt_Funny_Inappropriate_Matching_Couples_Gift_Tee.jpg?v=1762481968"},{"product_id":"im-stupid-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-couples-matching-tee","title":"I'm Stupid Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Stupid Tee is one half of Unethical Threads' most brutally honest couples set. Pair it with the matching I'm Fucking Stupid tee and let everyone else do the math on who got the worse deal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho wears which one?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's between you and your relationship. But let's be real, if you're reading this page, they already picked yours out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Stupid side is for the one who gets a little grace. The I'm Fucking Stupid side is for the one who earned the emphasis. Most couples don't even need to discuss it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton, thick enough to feel like you actually bought a shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors hold up wash after wash (unlike your last relationship)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good couples gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the couple in question roasts each other for sport, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't for the pair that finishes each other's sentences at brunch. It's for the pair that finishes each other's insults. The I'm Stupid set works for anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or any occasion where you want to publicly acknowledge what everyone already knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this listing include both shirts?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is the I'm Stupid tee only. The I'm Fucking Stupid tee is sold separately so you can pick different sizes and colors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG printing process bonds ink directly into the fabric, so it holds up through the wash cycle without peeling or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this by itself without the matching shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. The I'm Stupid tee works perfectly fine as a solo confession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42025731162194,"sku":"ImStupid-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42025731194962,"sku":"ImStupid-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42025731227730,"sku":"ImStupid-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42025731260498,"sku":"ImStupid-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025731293266,"sku":"ImStupid-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025731326034,"sku":"ImStupid-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025731358802,"sku":"ImStupid-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42025731391570,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42025731424338,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42025731457106,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42025731489874,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42025731522642,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42025731555410,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42025731588178,"sku":"ImStupid-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_m_Stupid_I_m_Fucking_Stupid_White_Shirt.png?v=1762481969"},{"product_id":"protect-the-dolls-t-shirt-pedro-pascal-save-transgender-tee","title":"Protect The Dolls Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Protect The Dolls tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who watched Pedro Pascal become the internet's protective dad and thought \"yeah, that's a whole identity.\" Trans rights, feminist energy, and the kind of feral loyalty that only chronically online people understand. Wear it like you mean it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't need the meme explained to them. If you've ever typed \"protect them at all costs\" in a group chat, congratulations, this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt hits different at pride, at brunch, at the grocery store when you just need the world to know where you stand. The kind of shirt that finds its people without trying. You'll lock eyes with a stranger across the bar and just nod. That's the whole interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station tissue\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because gatekeeping sizes is embarrassing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e for that \"I woke up like this\" energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't quietly abandon you after a few washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSoft enough to sleep in\u003c\/strong\u003e (we won't judge)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes. If someone in your life has strong opinions about Pedro Pascal, trans rights, or both, you just found their next favorite shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of gift that makes someone say \"you actually get me.\" Works for birthdays, pride, or just a random Tuesday when you want to be someone's favorite person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Protect The Dolls tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in. No fading, no cracking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about Pedro Pascal?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you know, you know. It's about protecting who needs protecting. Pedro just happens to be the patron saint of that energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough for all day, sturdy enough that it won't fall apart on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your HR department has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42029904035922,"sku":"ProDolls-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42029904068690,"sku":"ProDolls-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42029904101458,"sku":"ProDolls-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42029904134226,"sku":"ProDolls-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42029904166994,"sku":"ProDolls-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42029904199762,"sku":"ProDolls-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42029904232530,"sku":"ProDolls-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Protect_The_Dolls_Pedro_Pascal_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481982"},{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-dr-pepper-graphic-inappropriate-humor-tee","title":"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper Graphic Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper tee from Unethical Threads is for the people who mean it. Not every soda, just Dr Pepper. You know your priorities, and this shirt makes sure everyone else does too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been asked \"what's your favorite drink?\" and answered with an intensity that made the room uncomfortable. Dr Pepper loyalists don't do casual. If you've ever gotten genuinely mad at a restaurant for not carrying it, this was made for you. The kind of person who sees 23 flavors and thinks \"yeah, worth it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that holds up better than your impulse control around a vending machine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct to garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e because at least something in your life should be predictable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone whose entire personality is Dr Pepper, this is the gift. Stop buying them another case. They already have a fridge full. Give them something they can wear to Thanksgiving dinner that makes at least one relative deeply uncomfortable. It's thoughtful in the most unhinged way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually say \"dropkick a child\"?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. It says \"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Dr Pepper.\" That is the whole shirt. You've been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's not a bug, it's the entire point. If the people around you can't handle it, you might need different people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. This shirt will outlast most of your friendships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLegally, yes. Socially, that depends entirely on how much you care about what strangers think. We're guessing not much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42038716006482,"sku":"KickerD-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42038716039250,"sku":"KickerD-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42038716072018,"sku":"KickerD-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42038716104786,"sku":"KickerD-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42038716137554,"sku":"KickerD-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42038716170322,"sku":"KickerD-Black-3XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42038716203090,"sku":"KickerD-Black-4XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_Dr_Pepper_Soda_Humor_Tee.jpg?v=1762482068"},{"product_id":"good-bush-bad-bush-george-w-bush-busch-apple-t-shirt","title":"Good Bush Bad Bush George W Busch Apple Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Good Bush Bad Bush George W Busch Apple Tee is where presidential history meets gas station beer in the worst possible way. Unethical Threads put them together so you didn't have to. You're welcome (and also, sorry).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho is this shirt actually for?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who see Busch Apple in the cooler and immediately think of foreign policy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your sense of humor has been flagged by the algorithm at least once this year, you're the target demo. This shirt lives at the intersection of history class and a tailgate that went completely off the rails. It's not for everyone, and that's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because we're unhinged, not experimental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay vivid through your questionable life choices\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same after laundry day, whenever that is for you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this get me in trouble?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably. That's kind of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Good Bush Bad Bush design is one of those shirts where half the room laughs and the other half pretends they didn't. If you need plausible deniability, just say it's about beer. Technically, it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the Good Bush Bad Bush shirt mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a mashup of George W. Bush and Busch Apple beer. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is baked into the fabric. Wash it normally and it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf the person you're buying for laughs at things they probably shouldn't, yes. If they've ever forwarded you a meme with zero context, this is their shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42040622383186,"sku":"BapBush-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42040622415954,"sku":"BapBush-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42040622448722,"sku":"BapBush-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42040622481490,"sku":"BapBush-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42040622514258,"sku":"BapBush-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42040622547026,"sku":"BapBush-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42040622579794,"sku":"BapBush-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/0a6da287df11e2e5bd7b2eb8b2f72be7.jpg?v=1762482071"},{"product_id":"chewy-the-raccoon-meth-pipe-funny-news-viral-meme-tee","title":"*NEW* Chewy The Raccoon Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Chewy The Raccoon Tee from Unethical Threads is the only appropriate response to a raccoon getting busted with a meth pipe on live television. If you saw that story and your first thought was \"I need that on a shirt,\" congratulations, you're our people.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who watched the Chewy news segment and immediately sent it to every group chat they're in. The overlap between \"follows local news for the chaos\" and \"owns too many graphic tees\" is a perfect circle, and you're standing in the middle of it. This isn't for people who need the joke explained. If you know, you know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a costume\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL (yes, 4XL, we don't gatekeep)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're keeping at least one thing traditional here\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid through every wash, no cracking, no peeling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePreshrunk, so what you order is what you get\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift for the friend who texted you the Chewy story at 2 AM. Birthdays, white elephants, \"I saw this and thought of you\" moments. This is a shirt that says you pay attention to what actually makes someone laugh, not just what's safe. Fair warning: your coworkers might have questions at the next casual Friday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat is the Chewy The Raccoon shirt about?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's based on the viral news story about Chewy, the raccoon found with a meth pipe. The internet lost its mind, and we turned it into a tee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in. No cracking, no peeling, no fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on how you feel about raccoons and questionable life choices. It's funny, not mean. But know your audience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt material like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Feels substantial, not flimsy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42042644987986,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42042645020754,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42042645053522,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42042645086290,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42042645119058,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42042645151826,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42042645184594,"sku":"ChewyRacc-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Chewy_The_Raccoon_Meth_Pipe_Viral_News_Meme_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482092"},{"product_id":"nothing-about-me-is-flat-earth-society-funny-boob-meme-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Nothing About Me Is Flat Earth Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Nothing About Me Is Flat Earth tee from Unethical Threads takes two things the internet can't shut up about and smashes them together. Flat earthers get trolled. Curves get acknowledged. Everyone else just reads it twice and snorts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think the earth is round but their chest isn't. The overlap between conspiracy meme lovers and people with a sense of humor about their own body is larger than you'd think, and this shirt lives right in the center of that Venn diagram. It's a hit with women who like to make a point (two of them, actually) and the partners brave enough to buy it for them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a see-through napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors don't bail after three washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft enough that you'll forget you're wearing something this inappropriate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. Flat earthers will be mad you're mocking their movement, prudes will clutch pearls at the implication, and HR will have thoughts. But the people whose opinions you actually value (your real friends, your group chat, that one bartender) will think it's the funniest thing you own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt about flat earth or boobs?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Nothing About Me Is Flat Earth tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the design holds up through every wash without cracking, peeling, or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf the person you're buying for has a sense of humor and a chest, you're golden. If they have neither, maybe grab a gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42059247943762,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42059247976530,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42059248009298,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42059248042066,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42059248074834,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42059248107602,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42059248140370,"sku":"NothingFlat-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42059248173138,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42059248205906,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42059248238674,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42059248271442,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42059248304210,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42059248336978,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42059248369746,"sku":"NothingFlat-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Nothing_About_Me_Is_Flat_Earth_Society_Meme_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482106"},{"product_id":"new-call-me-the-third-little-piggy-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Call Me The Third Little Piggy Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Call Me The Third Little Piggy tee from Unethical Threads is what happens when a nursery rhyme meets someone who should not be left unsupervised around nursery rhymes. You already know the punchline. If you don't, this shirt isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in middle school humor and are genuinely proud of it. The kind of person who sends screenshot-worthy texts to the group chat at 2 AM.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis shirt lands hardest at cookouts, bar crawls, and anywhere your mom isn't. Though some of you will absolutely wear it in front of your mom, and honestly, respect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (yes, the big kids eat too)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck because we're unhinged, not unfashionable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the graphic stays vivid through countless washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft enough to sleep in when you pass out on someone's couch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a fantastic gift if you want to be the funniest person at the party and also possibly never invited back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for birthdays, white elephants, bachelor parties, or just because you saw it and immediately thought of someone specific. That instinct is correct. Trust it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Third Little Piggy shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. The DTG print holds up. Wash inside out on cold if you want to baby it, but it handles a normal cycle just fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. If your boss laughs at dirty jokes, go for it. If HR sends weekly emails about the dress code, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the shirt comfortable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eVery. Heavyweight cotton but not stiff. Comfortable from the first wear with no break-in period.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42063142748242,"sku":"CallMePiggy-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42063142781010,"sku":"CallMePiggy-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42063142813778,"sku":"CallMePiggy-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42063142846546,"sku":"CallMePiggy-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42063142879314,"sku":"CallMePiggy-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42063142912082,"sku":"CallMePiggy-Black-3XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42063142944850,"sku":"CallMePiggy-Black-4XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Call_Me_The_Third_Lil_Piggy_Cause_I_m_All_Bricked_Up_And_Ready_To_Get_Blown_Funny_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482118"},{"product_id":"think-outside-the-box-funny-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Think Outside \"The Box\" Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Think Outside \"The Box\" Tee from Unethical Threads takes a tired corporate catchphrase and sends it exactly where your mind already went. This is a shirt for people who heard \"think outside the box\" in a meeting and took it somewhere HR can't follow. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't need a creativity seminar. They just need a pillow and some privacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever been told you have a one-track mind and took it as a compliment, congrats, this is your uniform. It pairs well with poor decisions and zero shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a see-through napkin\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDirect-to-garment printed, so the colors stay locked in, not cracking off like cheap iron-ons\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk. What you order is what you get.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHonestly, yes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the friend who always takes it too far, the partner who appreciates a visual aid, or that one coworker you're quietly trying to get uninvited from the holiday party. Wrap it. Hand it over. Enjoy the ugly-laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk, so what you order is what you get. Same fit after washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The direct-to-garment printing puts the ink into the fabric, not on top of it. It holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. We're not your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42065546510418,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42065546543186,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42065546575954,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42065546608722,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42065546641490,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42065546674258,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42065546707026,"sku":"OutsideBox-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42065546739794,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42065546772562,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42065546805330,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42065546838098,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42065546870866,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42065546903634,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42065546936402,"sku":"OutsideBox-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/It_s_Hard_To_Think_Outside_The_Box_When_My_Face_Is_Always_Buried_In_It_Shirt.jpg?v=1762482121"},{"product_id":"new-its-only-a-problem-if-youre-losing-gambling-funny-shirt","title":"*NEW* It's Only A Problem If You're Losing Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe It's Only A Problem If You're Losing tee is for anyone who's ever justified a bad bet with worse logic. An Unethical Threads original for the gambler who insists they're \"up overall\" despite all evidence. Wear it to the casino, the poker table, or family dinner where you owe your brother money.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePoker players. Sports bettors. Slot machine loyalists who have a \"system.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever said \"I'm not addicted, I'm committed,\" this is your uniform. The kind of shirt you wear when you're up $200 and conveniently forget about last weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can survive a long night at the table\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (the only safe bet you'll make today)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed for color that actually lasts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk, so it still fits after a losing streak stress-eating session\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a gambler?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, and they'll love it more than their last parlay loved them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for birthdays, bachelor parties, or as a subtle intervention nobody will take seriously. If they don't laugh, they're in denial about more than just their bankroll.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works whether you're built like a bouncer or a blackjack dealer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the colors hold up wash after wash. No cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an appropriate gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor a gambler with a sense of humor, absolutely. For your boss or your grandma, maybe read the room first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Thick enough to feel substantial, soft enough that you'll actually want to wear it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill people be offended by this shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people, sure. But if you're shopping at Unethical Threads, you already knew that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42109182345298,"sku":"ProblemLose-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42109182378066,"sku":"ProblemLose-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42109182410834,"sku":"ProblemLose-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42109182443602,"sku":"ProblemLose-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42109182476370,"sku":"ProblemLose-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42109182509138,"sku":"ProblemLose-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42109182541906,"sku":"ProblemLose-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Its_Only_A_Problem_If_You_re_Losing_Gambling_Casino_Poker_Meme_Shirt.jpg?v=1754379251"},{"product_id":"tylenol-extra-autism-parody-funny-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Tylenol Extra Autism Parody Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Tylenol Extra Autism parody tee from Unethical Threads takes that viral conspiracy theory and puts it right on your chest. If you know, you know. If you don't, this probably isn't for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose group chats have a body count.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe kind of person whose humor runs dark enough that their friends stopped being surprised years ago. If your sense of humor has ever made a therapist pause and scribble something down, welcome home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a collar\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because we're unhinged, not animals\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the colors stay vivid long after your reputation doesn't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePre-shrunk fabric, same fit after every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. That's sort of the entire point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you're shopping at a store called Unethical Threads expecting grandma-approved apparel, you may have taken a wrong turn somewhere. This one's for people who laugh at things they probably shouldn't, and have made peace with that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an official Tylenol product?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. This is a parody tee. Tylenol has nothing to do with this, and we're pretty sure they'd prefer to keep it that way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone who'd think this is funny, absolutely. If you have to wonder whether they'd be offended, maybe stick with a gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt actually cause autism?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's a shirt. Come on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42159198044242,"sku":"EATism-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42159198077010,"sku":"EATism-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42159198109778,"sku":"EATism-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42159198142546,"sku":"EATism-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42159198175314,"sku":"EATism-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42159198208082,"sku":"EATism-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42159198240850,"sku":"EATism-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Tylenol_Extra_Autism_Meme_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1758751870"},{"product_id":"are-you-from-japan-cuz-i-wanna-get-in-japanties-t-shirt","title":"*NEW* Are You From Japan - Japanties Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cem\u003eNEW\u003c\/em\u003e Are You From Japan - Japanties Tee is Unethical Threads putting the worst pickup line you've ever heard on heavyweight cotton. It's stupid. It's juvenile. You already know you want it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople whose friends already expect the worst from them. This is the shirt for whoever takes it one step too far in the group chat, the one who sends the joke everyone's thinking but nobody says out loud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the bar, a cookout, or anywhere you want someone to slowly shake their head at you. Pairs well with confidence and a complete lack of shame.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt you'd choose to wear, not a gas station freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because terrible taste comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e keeping it simple so the shirt can do the heavy lifting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that holds up wash after wash (the joke isn't fading even if your dignity does)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eCan I actually wear this in public?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. Strategically, that's between you and your comfort level. Someone's grandma is going to read it out loud at the grocery store and you'll just have to stand there. Totally worth it. If you're shopping at Unethical Threads, you already know what you signed up for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Japanties tee a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your friend has a terrible sense of humor and no filter, this is the perfect gift. If they're easily offended, maybe grab a candle instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size, so grab your usual.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The DTG print bonds ink directly into the fabric, so the design holds up wash after wash. No cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually comfortable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. It's a real shirt, not some flimsy novelty tee you'll wear once and toss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42160665657426,"sku":"Japanties-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42160665690194,"sku":"Japanties-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42160665722962,"sku":"Japanties-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42160665755730,"sku":"Japanties-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160665788498,"sku":"Japanties-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160665821266,"sku":"Japanties-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160665854034,"sku":"Japanties-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42160665886802,"sku":"Japanties-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42160665919570,"sku":"Japanties-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42160665952338,"sku":"Japanties-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42160665985106,"sku":"Japanties-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42160666017874,"sku":"Japanties-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42160666050642,"sku":"Japanties-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42160666083410,"sku":"Japanties-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Are_You_From_Japan_Cuz_I_Wanna_Get_In_Your_Japanties_Shirt.jpg?v=1758826036"},{"product_id":"dont-let-me-do-shots-or-coke-shirt","title":"Don't Let Me Do Shots Or Coke Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Don't Let Me Do Shots Or Coke tee is your pre-game disclaimer printed on cotton. Unethical Threads made this for the person in every friend group who needs a handler, a Gatorade, and maybe a lawyer by 1 AM.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe person whose Uber rating is below 4.5 and whose bar tab has its own zip code. You know exactly who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour friends have been saying \"someone needs to watch you\" for years, and this tee finally puts it in writing. It's less of a fashion choice and more of a public service announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can survive your worst nights out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S through 4XL (yes, 4XL, we see you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because at least something about you should be classic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e that keeps its color longer than you keep your composure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e, which is good because you're going to need that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift. If someone in your life has ever sent a 3 AM text they had to apologize for at brunch, this is their uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of gift that makes them laugh, then pause, then go \"wait, what are you trying to say.\" Perfect for birthdays, bachelor parties, or an intervention disguised as a present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Don't Let Me Do Shots Or Coke tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG print holds up wash after wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it, but it doesn't need much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually about drugs?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's about whatever you need it to be about. We don't judge. That's kind of our whole thing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a family event?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you want. Whether you should is a different question. Read the room, or don't. We're not your parents.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42166720626770,"sku":"DLMDShot-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42166720659538,"sku":"DLMDShot-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42166720692306,"sku":"DLMDShot-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42166720725074,"sku":"DLMDShot-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42166720757842,"sku":"DLMDShot-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42166720790610,"sku":"DLMDShot-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42166720823378,"sku":"DLMDShot-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Don_t_Let_Me_Do_Shots_Or_Coke_Black_Shirt.png?v=1759339777"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/collections\/Grappige_T_Shirts.jpg?v=1761606972","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/grappige-t-shirts.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}