{"title":"You Are What You Eat!","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"lesbians-eat-what-t-shirt","title":"Lesbians Eat What? Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Lesbians Eat What? tee from Unethical Threads pairs a suspiciously innocent cat graphic with a question you already know the answer to. It's inappropriate, it's funny, and it's the kind of shirt that makes people do a double take in the grocery store checkout line.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think cat memes peaked too early and dirty jokes peaked too late. If you've ever sent a text that made someone reply with just a skull emoji, this is your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt plays well at barbecues, bar crawls, and anywhere the dress code is \"regrettable.\" The cat graphic really ties the whole thing together in a way that lets you maintain about three seconds of plausible deniability before someone reads the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K you didn't run\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S to 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e, because funny doesn't have a size limit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. Not trying to reinvent anything here.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e locks the color into the fabric. The joke will outlive your dignity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCat graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e doing about 80% of the heavy lifting on this one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Full stop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of gift that gets an immediate laugh and a \"where did you even find this?\" Works for birthdays, white elephants, bachelorette parties, or just reminding a friend that you know exactly who they are. If they're into inappropriate humor and cats (and honestly, who isn't), you're golden.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Lesbians Eat What tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton, so follow the care label (cold wash, tumble dry low) and you'll be fine. No surprise crop tops.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. It holds up wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on your workplace and your HR department's sense of humor. We believe in you, but we're not liable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":41963477336146,"sku":"LesWhat-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":41963477368914,"sku":"LesWhat-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":41963477401682,"sku":"LesWhat-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":41963477434450,"sku":"LesWhat-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":41963477467218,"sku":"LesWhat-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":41963477499986,"sku":"LesWhat-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":41963477532754,"sku":"LesWhat-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Lesbians_Eat_What_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481579"},{"product_id":"gays-eat-what-chicken-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"Gays Eat What? Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Gays Eat What? tee from Unethical Threads is exactly the shirt you think it is. A chicken. A question. A punchline that lands before anyone finishes reading. If you know, you know, and if you don't, the look on your face is half the fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who've been laughing at this joke since it first made the rounds. Pride month regulars, brunch table comedians, and anyone whose humor runs way past the line. It pairs well with mimosas and poor life choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a screen print on it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL (yes, we got you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck, because nobody asked for a V-neck on this one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print, so the colors stay vivid wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft enough to sleep in, loud enough to get you uninvited from Thanksgiving\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift. This is the one that makes someone open the box, pause for half a second, and then absolutely lose it in front of everyone. Works for Pride, birthdays, White Elephant, or any occasion where you want to be simultaneously the favorite and the most unhinged person in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the Gays Eat What? shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRuns true with a relaxed, unisex fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes. Available S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash cold, tumble dry low, and it holds up fine. The DTG print keeps its color too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. We are not your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt offensive?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTo some people, absolutely. That's sort of the point. If you're shopping at Unethical Threads, you already know what you signed up for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to Pride?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou'd be a legend. This shirt was practically made for Pride, cookouts, and anywhere people appreciate a solid double entendre.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42001156603986,"sku":"LGBWhat-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42001156636754,"sku":"LGBWhat-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42001156669522,"sku":"LGBWhat-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42001156702290,"sku":"LGBWhat-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42001156735058,"sku":"LGBWhat-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42001156767826,"sku":"LGBWhat-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42001156800594,"sku":"LGBWhat-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Gays_Eat_What_Chicken_Cock_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481850"},{"product_id":"bisexuals-eat-what-inappropriate-t-shirt","title":"Bisexuals Eat What? Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Bisexuals Eat What? Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. Nervous chickens. Nervous cats. One very loaded question. If you already know why those animals look concerned, this shirt was made for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are done with boring pride merch. Bi folks with a sense of humor and zero interest in sanitized, corporate-friendly representation. Also the person in the group chat who sends unhinged memes at 2 AM and never apologizes for it. You know who you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a glorified napkin.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because even chaos needs a neckline.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print locks the colors in so they don't fade into nothing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable. Your mom can't shrink the joke out of it.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this going to offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. The chickens and cats on this shirt are visibly stressed, and so will anyone who needs the joke explained. For pride events, house parties, and nights out with people who can handle it, the Bisexuals Eat What? Tee fits right in. For Easter brunch with grandma, maybe sit this one out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does \"Bisexuals Eat What\" mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLook at the nervous chickens and cats on the shirt and let the double entendre do its thing. If you still don't get it, this might not be your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. The DTG print holds up through plenty of wash cycles. Just follow the care label.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for a bisexual friend?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they have a dark sense of humor, this is a home run. If they prefer their pride merch wholesome, maybe grab them a candle instead.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt appropriate for work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work. But probably not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42005359427666,"sku":"BiEats-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42005359460434,"sku":"BiEats-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42005359493202,"sku":"BiEats-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42005359525970,"sku":"BiEats-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42005359558738,"sku":"BiEats-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42005359591506,"sku":"BiEats-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42005359624274,"sku":"BiEats-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Bisexuals_Eat_What_Inappropriate_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481856"},{"product_id":"men-eat-what-donkey-t-shirt-funny-inappropriate-ass-adult-humor-tee","title":"Men Eat What? 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If your humor runs dark and your wardrobe runs loud, welcome home.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper freebie from a 5K\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e (yes, we see you, big guys)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors don't bail after the first wash. Unlike your dignity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePre-shrunk.\u003c\/strong\u003e We thought of everything except your reputation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best kind of gift. The kind that makes someone laugh so hard they forget to say thank you. Perfect for birthdays, bachelor parties, or that friend whose sense of humor you've quietly admired from a safe distance. Just make sure you know your audience. If you give this to the wrong person, that's on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the Men Eat What Donkey shirt mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you have to ask, you might not be ready. But the donkeys on this shirt look very concerned for a reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRuns true to size in a relaxed, unisex fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes. Available S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePre-shrunk cotton. It holds up just fine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on where you work. If your boss laughs, you're golden. If HR has a file on you already, maybe save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOne of the best. Just make sure the recipient actually has a sense of humor. We can't help you if they don't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42021085053010,"sku":"MenDonkey-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42021085085778,"sku":"MenDonkey-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42021085118546,"sku":"MenDonkey-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42021085151314,"sku":"MenDonkey-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42021085184082,"sku":"MenDonkey-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42021085216850,"sku":"MenDonkey-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Men_Eat_What_Donkey_Ass_Inappropriate_Adult_Humor_Funny_T_Shirt.jpg?v=1762481931"}],"url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/collections\/you-are-what-you-eat.oembed","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}