{"product_id":"blow-jobs-are-real-jobs-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"Blow Jobs Are Real Jobs Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Blow Jobs Are Real Jobs Tee is a text-only slogan shirt from Unethical Threads that says exactly what you think it says. Black or white, full activist-poster earnestness, absolutely zero actual advocacy. It's the funniest shirt you can't wear to Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think professionalism was already a joke before they got involved. The friend in your group chat who sends things you have to delete before clearing customs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one lands because the format is so familiar. Every legitimate cause has a \"X is real work\" slogan, and this shirt just walks right in wearing the same cadence with a completely straight face. You either clock it immediately or you spend way too long staring at someone's chest trying to figure out why it's funny. Which, honestly, makes it funnier.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL, because this joke is for every body\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic crew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e cut. Nothing experimental happening here\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the text stays crisp and doesn't crack, peel, or quietly retire after six washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBlack and white only.\u003c\/strong\u003e Clean. Stark. Like a protest sign you'd never actually bring to a protest\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if you know what you're doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is for the person who already has the personality to back it up. You're not creating chaos, you're accessorizing it. Buy it for a birthday, a bachelor party, a white elephant exchange you want to win decisively. Just don't wrap it for your mother-in-law unless she's genuinely cool (and not just \"says she's cool\" cool).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt inappropriate?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. That's the point. If you need something safe for a PTA meeting, Unethical Threads is not your brand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Blow Jobs Are Real Jobs Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the text stays sharp without cracking, peeling, or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you like working there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt for men or women?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's unisex. The relaxed fit works on everyone, and the joke doesn't care about your gender.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42629857771602,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42629857804370,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42629857837138,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42629857869906,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42629857902674,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42629857935442,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42629857968210,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42629858000978,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42629858033746,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42629858066514,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42629858099282,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42629858132050,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42629858164818,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42629858197586,"sku":"BlowJobsAreRealJobsF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Blow_Jobs_Are_Real_Jobs_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1786984468","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/blow-jobs-are-real-jobs-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}