{"product_id":"call-me-the-third-little-piggy-sweatshirt","title":"Call Me The Third Little Piggy Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eUnethical Threads put Call Me The Third Little Piggy on a sweatshirt because some of us learned what that piggy had and never recovered. If you know, you know. If you don't, maybe sit this one out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who ruined their own childhood and thought it was funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou're the person who reads nursery rhymes with a straight face while absolutely dying inside. You think that deserves a sweatshirt. You're right, and here it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels substantial, not some tissue-paper situation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e (yes, 4XL, we got you)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because even degenerates can look put-together\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors hold up through every regrettable outing you wear this to\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable.\u003c\/strong\u003e You'll need that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you actually know the person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a safe pick for your office Secret Santa. But for your unhinged best friend, your sibling who shares your exact broken sense of humor, or yourself (you deserve nice things)? Perfect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Third Little Piggy sweatshirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this sweatshirt actually good quality?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with DTG printing for colors that actually last. This is not flimsy novelty garbage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I machine wash it?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYep. Cold wash, tumble dry low. Turn it inside out if you want to baby the print, but it holds up fine either way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill people understand the joke?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe right people will. And honestly, those are the only people whose opinions matter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat if someone gets offended?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen they don't get the joke, and that's their problem. You didn't wear it for them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"FAQPage\",\n  \"mainEntity\": [\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"What sizes does the Third Little Piggy sweatshirt come in?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is this sweatshirt actually good quality?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Heavyweight cotton with DTG printing for colors that actually last. This is not flimsy novelty garbage.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Can I machine wash it?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Yep. Cold wash, tumble dry low. Turn it inside out if you want to baby the print, but it holds up fine either way.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Will people understand the joke?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"The right people will. And honestly, those are the only people whose opinions matter.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"What if someone gets offended?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"Then they don't get the joke, and that's their problem. You didn't wear it for them.\"\n      }\n    }\n  ]\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42223981297746,"sku":"SweatPiggy-Black-S","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42223981330514,"sku":"SweatPiggy-Black-M","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42223981363282,"sku":"SweatPiggy-Black-L","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42223981396050,"sku":"SweatPiggy-Black-XL","price":37.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42223981428818,"sku":"SweatPiggy-Black-2XL","price":38.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42223981461586,"sku":"SweatPiggy-Black-3XL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Call_Me_The_Third_Little_Piggy_Sweatshirt.jpg?v=1764009656","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/call-me-the-third-little-piggy-sweatshirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}