{"product_id":"clean-sober-i-showered-before-heading-to-the-liquor-store-funny-t-shirt","title":"Clean \u0026 Sober (I Showered Before Heading To The Liquor Store) Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Clean \u0026amp; Sober (I Showered Before Heading To The Liquor Store) tee from Unethical Threads is for people who choose their words very, very carefully. Every claim on this shirt is technically true. That's the best kind of true.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who pregame errands. The type who announces \"I'm being responsible today\" while loading a cart with bottom-shelf bourbon and frozen pizza. This is a status update for functioning adults who keep a very personal dictionary. You're not lying, you're just not elaborating.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that doesn't bail on you after one wash cycle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL, because poor decisions come in every build\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because you're casual, not feral\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print that keeps the text sharp and readable, even after you're not\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually offensive?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The joke is self-deprecating wordplay, not a shot at anyone's journey. You're clowning on yourself and your afternoon plans, which is fair game. If someone reads this shirt and gets offended, they probably didn't finish reading it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt come in other colors?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt comes in black or white. Two choices, which is honestly more decisions than you need before heading to the liquor store.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes are available?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Runs true to size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt making fun of sobriety?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. The joke is about one person choosing their words like a defense attorney. It's self-deprecating wordplay, not commentary on anyone else's choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe DTG print stays sharp through serious wash cycles. The text will outlast most of your weekend plans.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf the person describes their third beer as \"hydrating,\" absolutely. If they're in actual recovery, read the room.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42746753155154,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42746753187922,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42746753220690,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42746753253458,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42746753286226,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42746753318994,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42746753351762,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42746753384530,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42746753417298,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42746753450066,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42746753482834,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42746753515602,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42746753548370,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42746753581138,"sku":"CleanAndSoberF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Clean___Sober__I_Showered_Before_Heading_To_The_Liquor_Store__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790085400","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/clean-sober-i-showered-before-heading-to-the-liquor-store-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}