{"product_id":"do-not-invite-me-to-afters-no-matter-what-i-say-funny-t-shirt","title":"Do Not Invite Me To Afters No Matter What I Say Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Do Not Invite Me To Afters No Matter What I Say Tee from Unethical Threads is a preemptive strike against your own worst impulses. You know exactly who you are at 1 AM. This shirt tells your friends what sober-you desperately needs them to hear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually needs this shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who has ever texted \"I'm literally coming\" at 2:47 AM and then regretted their entire existence by sunrise. That person. You're that person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the wearable equivalent of a living will for your social life. You're outsourcing self-control to whoever happens to read your chest. Available in black or white, because your poor life choices shouldn't be limited by colorway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can survive the night even if your dignity can't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck (nothing fancy, you don't deserve fancy at 3 AM)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print for color that outlasts your willpower\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who can't say no?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift. If someone in your life keeps saying \"just one more\" and then disappears until 6 AM, this is the intervention they didn't ask for. Cheaper than therapy, more direct than a group chat screenshot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWrap it. Hand it over. Watch them laugh, then watch them wear it, then watch them completely ignore it next Saturday. The circle of life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizes S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors is this available in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Pick whichever matches your regret aesthetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe DTG print holds its color. Your questionable decisions are permanent, and so is this print.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually comfortable?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Comfortable enough to sleep on someone's couch in after the afters you swore you wouldn't go to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a party?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can. Whether anyone listens to it is entirely on them.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42842237304914,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42842237337682,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42842237370450,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42842237403218,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42842237435986,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42842237468754,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42842237501522,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42842237534290,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42842237567058,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42842237599826,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42842237632594,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42842237665362,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42842237698130,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42842237730898,"sku":"DoNotInviteMeToAftersNoMatterF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Do_Not_Invite_Me_To_Afters_No_Matter_What_I_Say_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1792706088","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/do-not-invite-me-to-afters-no-matter-what-i-say-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}