{"product_id":"eat-a-dick-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"Eat A Dick Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Eat A Dick Tee from Unethical Threads puts \"EAT A DICK YOU DUMB SHIT\" across the chest in plain, unblinking type. Available in black or white. It's the shirt you wear when subtlety has officially failed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are done pretending to be polite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour roommate who named the group chat something unrepeatable. The friend who RSVPs to weddings with \"I guess.\" Anyone who treats profanity as punctuation and considers a handshake too formal. This isn't a personality test. It's just a graphic tee. But it does say a lot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that doesn't feel like a tissue paper hand-me-down\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic crew neck (because V-necks are a choice we didn't make)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the letters stay sharp no matter how many times you wash it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on how well you know the person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they laugh at things most people apologize for, yes. If they've ever sent a text that was just a middle finger emoji with no context, absolutely. If they forward HR emails to the group chat for entertainment, wrap this up immediately. For anyone else, maybe get them a candle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Eat A Dick Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. The text holds up through regular washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Feels substantial, not flimsy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this come in other colors?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBlack or white. Pick the one that matches your level of hostility.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42630741885010,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42630741917778,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42630741950546,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42630741983314,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42630742016082,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42630742048850,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42630742081618,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42630742114386,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42630742147154,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42630742179922,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42630742212690,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42630742245458,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42630742278226,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42630742310994,"sku":"EatADickYouDumbShitF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Eat_A_Dick_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1787030496","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/eat-a-dick-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}