{"product_id":"former-teenage-dirtbag-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"Former Teenage Dirtbag Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Former Teenage Dirtbag Tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who was a genuine problem at fifteen and is now, somehow, a functioning adult. Three words stacked on heavyweight cotton in black or white. You grew up. Mostly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in the parking lot and now have a 401(k).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou were the kid your friend's parents specifically warned them about. Permanent seat in detention, first-name basis with the vice principal. Now you pay a mortgage and own furniture you actually picked out, but part of you still lights up when someone says \"remember when.\" The Former Teenage Dirtbag Tee is that feeling in shirt form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton. The kind with actual substance, not the tissue-paper stuff.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Reformed dirtbags come in every size.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck. Classic, like your permanent record.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print that keeps its edge longer than you kept yours.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white. Pick whichever matches your level of reform.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone who spent their teens being a genuine nuisance and now pretends to be a responsible adult, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the gift that says \"I remember exactly who you were.\" Works for birthdays, reunions, or any occasion where you want to lovingly remind someone that adulthood is just a costume they put on. Hand it over with a straight face for maximum effect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the Former Teenage Dirtbag Tee soft?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton, preshrunk, and softer than you'd expect from something this blunt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit that works on every body that survived adolescence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printed, so the text holds up. Your reputation from high school might not, but the shirt will.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends entirely on how much your coworkers know about your past.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors does the Former Teenage Dirtbag Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Both deliver the same confession.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42733925072978,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42733925105746,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42733925138514,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42733925171282,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42733925204050,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42733925236818,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42733925269586,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42733925302354,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42733925335122,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42733925367890,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42733925400658,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42733925433426,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42733925466194,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42733925498962,"sku":"FormerTeenageDirtbagF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Former_Teenage_Dirtbag_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1789388283","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/former-teenage-dirtbag-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}