{"product_id":"i-dont-need-therapy-i-need-a-bail-bondsman-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Don't Need Therapy I Need A Bail Bondsman Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Don't Need Therapy I Need A Bail Bondsman tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who skipped the therapist's office and went straight to making questionable life choices. It says what your group chat already knows about you. Heavyweight cotton, unisex fit, no apology included.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who saved a bail bondsman's number before they saved their dentist's.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe friend everyone calls at 2 AM, not for advice, but because they're already awake and probably the reason you need the number in the first place. If you've ever been described as \"a lot,\" this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can take a hit (and a few more after that)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e (direct-to-garment), so the colors stay loud even after your 50th wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e from S to 4XL, because poor decisions come in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're not fancy, and we respect that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk fabric\u003c\/strong\u003e so it fits the same on day one and day one hundred\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if the recipient has a sense of humor and possibly a record.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNothing says \"I know the real you\" like handing someone a shirt that implies they need legal intervention more than emotional support. Baby showers? Probably not. Bachelor parties, birthdays for your most unhinged friend, or a \"congrats on the charges being dropped\" present? Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually soft or is it stiff like cardboard?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton, so it has some structure to it, but it's not scratchy or uncomfortable. Breaks in nicely after a wash or two.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing soaks the ink into the fabric instead of sitting on top. Turn it inside out, wash cold, and it'll keep looking fresh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to court?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe can't legally advise against it, but your lawyer might.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cscript type=\"application\/ld+json\"\u003e\n{\n  \"@context\": \"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n  \"@type\": \"FAQPage\",\n  \"mainEntity\": [\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Is this shirt actually soft or is it stiff like cardboard?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"It's heavyweight cotton, so it has some structure to it, but it's not scratchy or uncomfortable. Breaks in nicely after a wash or two.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"What sizes does this come in?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Will the print crack or fade?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"DTG printing soaks the ink into the fabric instead of sitting on top. Turn it inside out, wash cold, and it'll keep looking fresh.\"\n      }\n    },\n    {\n      \"@type\": \"Question\",\n      \"name\": \"Can I wear this to court?\",\n      \"acceptedAnswer\": {\n        \"@type\": \"Answer\",\n        \"text\": \"We can't legally advise against it, but your lawyer might.\"\n      }\n    }\n  ]\n}\n\u003c\/script\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42375229243474,"sku":"TherapyBailbondsman-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42375229276242,"sku":"TherapyBailbondsman-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42375229309010,"sku":"TherapyBailbondsman-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42375229341778,"sku":"TherapyBailbondsman-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42375229374546,"sku":"TherapyBailbondsman-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42375229407314,"sku":"TherapyBailbondsman-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42375229440082,"sku":"TherapyBailbondsman-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Dont_Need_Therapy_I_Need_A_Bail_Bondsman_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt.png?v=1776784737","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-dont-need-therapy-i-need-a-bail-bondsman-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}