{"product_id":"i-eat-healthy-im-a-cockitarian-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Eat Healthy I'm A Cockitarian Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Eat Healthy I'm A Cockitarian tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A mock-wholesome dietary declaration printed on the back of a heavyweight cotton tee, available in black or white. Your nutrition plan, your business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who think food puns peaked with cockitarian. Bachelorette parties, pride events, anyone whose group chat would lose it over this shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of thing that makes someone either high-five you or pretend they didn't see you, and both reactions are the point. The I Eat Healthy I'm A Cockitarian backprint does the talking so you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually holds up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because you're classy like that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print that won't crack, peel, or ghost after 50 washes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gag gift. Bachelorette parties, white elephant exchanges, birthday presents for the friend who has no filter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Cockitarian tee hits that sweet spot where it's funny enough to actually wear, not just funny enough to unwrap. Most novelty shirts live in a drawer. This one earns its rotation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does cockitarian mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a made-up diet label. Use context clues.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the design on the front or back?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe back. The front is blank, so you get a solid moment of looking normal before people read the rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no sad flaking after a few washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on your workplace. We're not your HR department.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42752313688146,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42752313720914,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42752313753682,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42752313786450,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42752313819218,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42752313851986,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42752313884754,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42752313917522,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42752313950290,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42752313983058,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42752314015826,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42752314048594,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42752314081362,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42752314114130,"sku":"IEatHealthyImACockitarianB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Eat_Healthy_Im_A_Cockitarian__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790165477","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-eat-healthy-im-a-cockitarian-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}