I Got My First Boner From The Green M&M Tee

This is the I Got My First Boner From The Green M&M tee from Unethical Threads. It says what you've been too cowardly to admit since 2003. Heavyweight cotton, printed to last, and yes, at least one person at the cookout is going to need a minute.

Who actually wears this?

People who were the right age when those commercials hit. You know exactly what age that was.

Look, the Green M&M awakened something in an entire generation and nobody talks about it. This shirt talks about it. It's less of a fashion choice and more of a public confession, and honestly, confession is good for the soul.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a shirt, not a dryer sheet with a neck hole
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL
• Crew neck, because V-necks make this shirt weirder somehow
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the colors stay locked in and don't crack or fade
• Machine washable, though the emotional damage is permanent

Is this a good gift?

It's a fantastic gift. It's also a dangerous one.

Give this to the friend who has zero filter, the coworker who treats the group chat like a confessional, or that one cousin at Thanksgiving. They'll either love you forever or you'll confirm something about them you can never take back. Either way, you'll know.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the print hold up after washing?

Yes. DTG printing bonds directly to the fabric, so the colors don't crack or peel. Your confession is permanent.

What sizes are available?

S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.

Will people get the joke?

The right people will. That's the whole point.

Is this shirt actually comfortable?

Heavyweight cotton, relaxed fit, crew neck. It's a proper tee, not a costume.

Can I wear this to work?

Depends on your workplace. We believe in you, but HR might not.