{"product_id":"i-hate-crotch-goblins-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Hate Crotch Goblins Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Hate Crotch Goblins Tee from Unethical Threads is a backprint statement for anyone who's done pretending they like other people's kids. Available in black or white, this heavyweight cotton tee lets the people behind you know exactly where you stand.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually buying this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChild-free people who are completely done being polite about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe ones who've heard \"you'll change your mind\" enough times to need a wardrobe-based rebuttal. This shirt picks up where the eye roll leaves off. It's not subtle. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually survives laundry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because even child-free people deserve classic silhouettes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG printed so the message stays crisp and legible\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign on the back, for maximum impact as you walk away from someone else's screaming toddler\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this actually work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone who's vocally child-free, this is the easiest gift decision you'll ever make.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's for your friend who brings noise-cancelling headphones to family gatherings. The one who has opinions about kids in breweries. They already think it. You're just making it wearable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does crotch goblins mean?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's internet slang for other people's kids. If you had to Google that, this shirt might not be for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the design on the front or back of the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe back. So you can make your point while walking away. Poetic, really.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's not a flaw, it's the feature.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing locks the color in. Your opinions about children will outlast your other graphic tees.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42752351666258,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42752351699026,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42752351731794,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42752351764562,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42752351797330,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42752351830098,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42752351862866,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42752351895634,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42752351928402,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42752351961170,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42752351993938,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42752352026706,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42752352059474,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42752352092242,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Hate_Crotch_Goblins__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790166714","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-hate-crotch-goblins-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}