{"product_id":"i-hate-crotch-goblins-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Hate Crotch Goblins Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Hate Crotch Goblins tee from Unethical Threads is a heavyweight cotton graphic tee for the proudly child-free. It says what you're thinking so you don't have to open your mouth. Available in black or white, sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who chose sleep, savings, and spontaneous travel over sticky handprints on everything they own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe child-free crowd has been saying this stuff for years. This shirt just puts it on cotton. Wear it to brunch, wear it to the grocery store, or wear it to your family reunion if you're feeling particularly brave.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because opinions come in all sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck. Simple. Lets the text do the talking.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print, so the graphic won't crack, peel, or fade into oblivion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for someone who hates kids?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the right person, this is the best gift they'll get all year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone in your life has ever rolled their eyes at a baby shower invite or described a restaurant experience ruined by a screaming toddler, you've found their shirt. The child-free aren't exactly known for being subtle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit that runs true to size. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. The DTG print bonds ink directly into the fabric, so it holds up without cracking, peeling, or fading.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the I Hate Crotch Goblins tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs 'crotch goblins' going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people, absolutely. That's sort of the whole idea. If you're worried about offending parents, this probably isn't your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42752346456146,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42752346488914,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42752346554450,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42752346587218,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42752346619986,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42752346652754,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42752346685522,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42752346718290,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42752346751058,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42752346783826,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42752346816594,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42752346849362,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42752346882130,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42752346914898,"sku":"IHateCrotchGoblinsF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Hate_Crotch_Goblins_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790166553","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-hate-crotch-goblins-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}