{"product_id":"i-only-drink-two-times-a-year-my-birthday-and-when-its-not-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Only Drink Two Times A Year My Birthday And When It's Not Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Only Drink Two Times A Year My Birthday And When It's Not Tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who tried moderation once, hated it, and never looked back. Available in black or white, this heavyweight cotton tee says what your liver already knows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who gave up pretending they only drink on special occasions. You know the type.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey're at every barbecue, every Tuesday happy hour, every \"I had a long day\" Wednesday. This shirt just makes the policy official. It's not a cry for help. It's a mission statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that can handle your questionable decisions and a hot dryer\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL, because bad habits come in all sizes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're not that fancy and we both know it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the joke doesn't fade before you do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eblack or white\u003c\/strong\u003e (your hangover doesn't care either way)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor your drinking buddy, your college roommate, or the friend who counts mimosas as a breakfast food? Absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the kind of gift that gets an immediate laugh and never gets returned. Skip the gift card. This says \"I know exactly who you are\" without any of the emotional vulnerability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for basically everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the design holds up through washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt comfortable for all-day wear?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. Heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. It's the shirt you forget you're wearing until someone reads it and laughs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends on your workplace. If your office has a keg, you're probably fine. If not, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash this shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low. It's not high maintenance, even if you are.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42807690297426,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42807690330194,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42807690362962,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42807690395730,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42807690428498,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42807690461266,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42807690494034,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42807690526802,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42807690559570,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42807690592338,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42807690625106,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42807690657874,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42807690690642,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42807690723410,"sku":"IOnlyDrinkTwoTimesBirthdayF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Only_Drink_Two_Times_A_Year_My_Birthday_And_When_Its_Not_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1791910039","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-only-drink-two-times-a-year-my-birthday-and-when-its-not-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}