{"product_id":"i-want-to-be-mysterious-but-i-never-stfu-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Want To Be Mysterious But I Never STFU Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Want To Be Mysterious But I Never STFU Tee from Unethical Threads is for every person who planned to be the quiet, enigmatic one and then opened their mouth. You wanted mystique. You got a 45-minute monologue about your neighbor's dog.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who genuinely tried being mysterious for about eleven seconds before telling a stranger their entire life story at a gas station. Introverts in theory, extroverts by accident.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever said \"I should talk less\" and then immediately didn't, this is your uniform. It's not a cry for help. It's a public service announcement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not a translucent napkin from a tourist trap\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're classic like that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors stay sharp long after your filter has worn off\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e (unlike your reputation)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This a Good Gift for Someone Who Never Shuts Up?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Obviously. If you know someone who describes themselves as \"mysterious\" while simultaneously texting you seventeen paragraphs about their lunch, hand them this shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's self-aware, it's accurate, and it saves you the trouble of telling them yourself. They'll laugh, they'll wear it, and they still won't stop talking. But at least now everyone's been warned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the I Want To Be Mysterious But I Never STFU Tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for everyone who can't keep a secret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. Your shirt will outlast most of your friendships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton. Thick enough to feel substantial, soft enough that you'll forget you're wearing a public confession.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProbably not. It's more of a self-roast than anything. If someone gets offended by you admitting you talk too much, that says more about them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42347382866002,"sku":"MysUp-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42347382898770,"sku":"MysUp-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42347382931538,"sku":"MysUp-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42347382964306,"sku":"MysUp-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42347382997074,"sku":"MysUp-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42347383029842,"sku":"MysUp-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42347383062610,"sku":"MysUp-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Want_To_Be_Mysterious_But_I_Never_STFU_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt.png?v=1774275593","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-want-to-be-mysterious-but-i-never-stfu-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}