{"product_id":"i-wish-i-had-serotonin-instead-of-this-big-cock-tee-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Wish I Had Serotonin Instead Of This Big Cock Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Wish I Had Serotonin Instead Of This Big Cock tee says what your therapist won't put on a prescription pad. Text-only back print from Unethical Threads. You walk away, the room reads it, and you never have to deal with their reaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's had the kind of year where you'd genuinely trade anything impressive for the ability to feel normal on a Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt resonates with the serotonin-deficient crowd, which, statistically, is most of your group chat. If you've ever described yourself as \"functioning\" with invisible air quotes, this is your uniform. The back print means you don't even have to be facing people when the joke lands. You're already walking away. That's the energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels substantial, not that tissue-paper nonsense\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because you have enough going on without a complicated neckline\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print for text that stays sharp and doesn't crack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white. Pick the one that matches your outlook.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly if you know the person well enough to joke about their brain chemistry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is not a coworker gift. This is not a \"just met your boyfriend's parents\" gift. This is for the friend who texts you their intrusive thoughts at 2am and you both laugh about it. If that person exists in your life, they already want this shirt. They just don't know it yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the shirt actually say?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe back reads \"I WISH I HAD SEROTONIN INSTEAD OF THIS BIG COCK\" in plain text. The front is completely blank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print on the front or the back?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBack only. The front is blank, so you can maintain plausible deniability until you turn around.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a DTG (direct-to-garment) print, which holds up well. Cold wash, tumble dry low, and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a drug reference?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNo. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter your brain makes (or in this case, doesn't). This is depression humor, not a substance reference.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42626448687186,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42626448719954,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42626448752722,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42626448785490,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42626448818258,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42626448851026,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42626448883794,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42626448916562,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42626448949330,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42626448982098,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42626449014866,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42626449047634,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42626449080402,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42626449113170,"sku":"SerotoninInsteadBigCockB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Wish_I_Had_Serotonin_Instead_Of_This_Big_Cock_Tee__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1786824305","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-wish-i-had-serotonin-instead-of-this-big-cock-tee-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}