{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-jose-cuervo-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Jose Cuervo Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Jose Cuervo Tee from Unethical Threads is exactly what it sounds like. A heavyweight cotton tee for people who love tequila more than they love other people's children. Front-print, unisex, sizes S to 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who order Cuervo neat and don't flinch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't for someone who \"occasionally enjoys a marg.\" It's for the person with a bottle permanently on the counter, who considers lime wedges a food group, and who has genuinely done the math on this shirt's premise and landed firmly on the tequila side.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like a real shirt, not some paper-thin bar promo freebie\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S to 4XL, because Cuervo doesn't discriminate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck, short sleeve.\u003c\/strong\u003e The classics. Nothing weird going on here.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors hold up even after your fourteenth regret-fueled Sunday laundry\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFront print.\u003c\/strong\u003e Everyone reads it immediately. That's the whole point.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes This Actually Make a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know the person, absolutely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf they've ever said \"I'd kill for a shot of Cuervo\" with a little too much sincerity, this is basically a love letter. Skip this for office Secret Santa unless your HR department has a sense of humor (they don't).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit, true to size. Order your normal size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) printed, not a cheap iron-on. The design won't crack, peel, or fade in the wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me kicked out of places?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on the place. It gets laughs at bars and side-eyes at brunch. Both count as wins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs it only available in black?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. This joke only works on black.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this around kids?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically yes. Strategically, maybe read the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42373285216338,"sku":"DropKickJoco-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42373285249106,"sku":"DropKickJoco-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42373285281874,"sku":"DropKickJoco-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42373285314642,"sku":"DropKickJoco-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42373285347410,"sku":"DropKickJoco-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42373285380178,"sku":"DropKickJoco-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42373285412946,"sku":"DropKickJoco-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Jose_Cuervo_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt.png?v=1776715490","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-jose-cuervo-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}