{"product_id":"i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-patron-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"I Would Dropkick A Child For A Patron Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I Would Dropkick A Child For A Patron Tee is exactly what it sounds like. Unethical Threads made this for the person whose love of Patron has crossed into felony territory. Front print, heavyweight cotton, and a complete lack of impulse control.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who don't just drink Patron. They'd go to war for it. Your buddy who orders top shelf at a dive bar. The coworker whose opinions about tequila border on religious conviction. If you've ever had a heated argument about reposado vs. añejo, this shirt already belongs to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a gas station promo rag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck, short sleeve\u003c\/strong\u003e, the classic silhouette for committing to the bit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e so the colors hold up longer than your dignity at happy hour\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFront print placement\u003c\/strong\u003e because you want people to read this before they talk to you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt might be the best gift you can give someone who takes tequila too seriously. If they laugh at the title, buy it. If they don't, it's not for them. Works for birthdays, white elephants, or any situation where you want to win the gift exchange without trying that hard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit, true to size. Just order your normal size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print on the front or back?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFront only. People should see this one coming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% heavyweight cotton. Crew neck, short sleeve. Thick enough that it feels like an actual garment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNope. It's DTG (direct-to-garment) printed, so the design holds up. Follow the care instructions and it'll outlast your liver.\u003c\/p\u003e\n","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42375198572626,"sku":"DropKickPat-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42375198605394,"sku":"DropKickPat-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42375198638162,"sku":"DropKickPat-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42375198670930,"sku":"DropKickPat-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42375198703698,"sku":"DropKickPat-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42375198736466,"sku":"DropKickPat-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42375198769234,"sku":"DropKickPat-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/I_Would_Dropkick_A_Child_For_A_Patron_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt.png?v=1776776397","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/i-would-dropkick-a-child-for-a-patron-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}