{"product_id":"if-dicks-could-fly-your-mouth-would-be-an-airport-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"If Dicks Could Fly Your Mouth Would Be An Airport Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe If Dicks Could Fly Your Mouth Would Be An Airport Tee from Unethical Threads is the comeback shirt your loudest friend doesn't know they need yet. A front-print roast for anyone whose mouth runs like a runway with no closing time. Cruel, funny, and completely earned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually needs this shirt?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who has a friend that treats silence like a personal insult.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know the one. They've never had an unspoken thought, they retell the same story to the same people who were there when it happened, and they somehow always have more to say. This is the shirt you wear around them, and they'll either get the hint or (more likely) talk about it for twenty minutes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a see-through suggestion of one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL, because loud friends come in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're making a statement with the words, not the neckline\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that stays sharp and doesn't fade on you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/strong\u003e, though given who you're buying this for, that's optimistic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this actually work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. This is the gift for the friend everyone loves but nobody can get a word in around.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks for birthdays, Secret Santa, or just a casual act of war at brunch. Fair warning: they will wear it, they will think it's about someone else, and they will bring it up constantly, which is sort of the whole problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care instructions and it holds its shape. Ignore them and that's between you and the dryer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the text on the front or back?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFront. Big, clear, impossible to miss. Just like the person you're buying it for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes do you carry?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. It's a shirt about someone who talks too much, not a motivational poster. Read the room, or don't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow should I wash this?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTurn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The DTG print holds up well if you don't treat your laundry like a combat sport.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42551659626578,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42551659659346,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42551659692114,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42551659724882,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42551659757650,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42551659790418,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42551659823186,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42551659855954,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42551659888722,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42551659921490,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42551659954258,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42551659987026,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42551660019794,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42551660052562,"sku":"DicksFlyAirportF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/If_Dicks_Could_Fly_Your_Mouth_Would_Be_An_Airport_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1786546128","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/if-dicks-could-fly-your-mouth-would-be-an-airport-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}