{"product_id":"im-fat-because-everytime-i-fuck-your-dad-he-pours-bacon-grease-down-my-throat-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"I'm Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Dad He Pours Bacon Grease Down My Throat Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I’m Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Dad He Pours Bacon Grease Down My Throat Tee from Unethical Threads is a text-only graphic tee that escalates from self-deprecating to completely unhinged in five stacked lines. Available in black or white, it’s the comeback nobody asked for, printed on heavyweight cotton nobody deserves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who’ve given up on subtlety as a communication strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe kind of person who answers \"how’d you gain weight?\" with a sentence that makes the asker wish they’d stayed quiet. You’re the one at the cookout whose shirt gets read out loud, involuntarily, by everyone within six feet. You already own at least two shirts that have gotten you uninvited from something. This is your third.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that survives every wash and every confrontation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrewneck with DTG print for color that sticks around longer than your good judgment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white (your dad doesn’t get a say)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFive lines of text. Zero graphics. Maximum damage.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s the perfect gift for someone who claims they \"don’t get offended.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen you get to test that theory. Works for birthdays, White Elephant, or any occasion where you want to be remembered and possibly uninvited from the next gathering. If you’re buying it for yourself, you don’t need permission. You already know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt’s a unisex relaxed fit, so yes. Check the size chart if you’re between sizes. Available in S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Pick whichever matches your willingness to be seen in public.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. DTG printed directly onto the fabric, so the text isn’t going anywhere. The shirt will outlast the friendships it ruins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this going to offend people?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. If you’re looking for something subtle, you’re on the wrong website.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can. Whether you should is between you and whatever’s left of your reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42723273244754,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42723273277522,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42723273310290,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42723273343058,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42723273375826,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42723273408594,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42723273441362,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42723273474130,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42723273506898,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42723273539666,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42723273572434,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42723273605202,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42723273637970,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42723273670738,"sku":"FatBecauseDadPoursGreaseF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Im_Fat_Because_Everytime_I_Fuck_Your_Dad_He_Pours_Bacon_Grease_Down_My_Throat_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1788914083","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/im-fat-because-everytime-i-fuck-your-dad-he-pours-bacon-grease-down-my-throat-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}