{"product_id":"im-fat-because-everytime-i-fuck-your-mom-she-makes-me-a-sandwich-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"I'm Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Mom She Makes Me A Sandwich Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe I'm Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Mom She Makes Me A Sandwich Tee from Unethical Threads is a four-line your-mom comeback on a heavyweight cotton tee. It goes exactly where you think, then sticks the landing on a sandwich. In black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who end arguments instead of winning them. This shirt does the talking so you can just stand there looking smug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know the friend. Opens with self-deprecation, pivots to your mother, and sticks the landing on something so dumb it wraps back around to brilliant. The I'm Fat Because Everytime I Fuck Your Mom She Makes Me A Sandwich Tee is their uniform, and the companion piece to our \"your dad\" bacon-grease tee (same energy, opposite parent, tamer punchline).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't quit after three wash cycles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because you're classy like that\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the text stays sharp long after the friendships don't\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eblack or white\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift if the recipient has a sense of humor and a high tolerance for eye contact with strangers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is what you buy for the person who already owns every \"normal\" funny shirt and needs an upgrade. Birthday, White Elephant, divorce party. Pair it with an actual sandwich for full commitment to the bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit that runs true to size from S to 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the text on both sides of the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFront print only. The back is blank, so people have to face you to get the full experience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs \"EVERYTIME\" on the shirt a typo?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThat's how it's printed. It's part of the design, not a cry for help.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shrink in the wash?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMinimal shrinkage with cold water and tumble dry low. The heavyweight cotton holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a family dinner?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYou can wear it anywhere you're comfortable defending your choices. We believe in you, but we're not your lawyer.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42723640246354,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42723640279122,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42723640311890,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42723640344658,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42723640377426,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42723640410194,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42723640442962,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42723640475730,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42723640508498,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42723640541266,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42723640574034,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42723640606802,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42723640639570,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42723640672338,"sku":"FatBecauseMomSandwichF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Im_Fat_Because_Everytime_I_Fuck_Your_Mom_She_Makes_Me_A_Sandwich_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1788960908","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/im-fat-because-everytime-i-fuck-your-mom-she-makes-me-a-sandwich-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}