I'm Not Going Bald I'm Just Getting More Head Tee

The I'm Not Going Bald I'm Just Getting More Head tee from Unethical Threads is for every guy whose hairline is retreating faster than his dignity. You might've spotted this one after Tate wore it. We were selling it first, for what it's worth.

Who actually wears this?

Guys who looked in the mirror, accepted the situation, and decided to make it everybody else's problem.

Bald dads, thinning twentysomethings, and anyone who'd rather get a laugh than a hair transplant. If your buddy is losing his hair and his sense of shame, this is what you get him.

• Heavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a tissue with a screen print
• Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (yes, big heads welcome)
• Classic crew neck
• DTG printed so the joke stays sharp and the colors don't bail after three washes
• Pairs well with a shaved head, a sunburned scalp, or absolute denial

Is this a good gift?

It's a great gift.

Birthday, Father's Day, gag gift for the groomsman who won't stop borrowing your Rogaine. If someone you know is losing their hair and winning at self-deprecation, wrap this up and hand it over. They'll wear it. Probably to Thanksgiving.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt actually say "I'm Not Going Bald I'm Just Getting More Head"?

Yes. In big, clear letters. No subtlety here.

What sizes does this come in?

S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it works for pretty much any body type.

Will the print fade or crack?

Nope. DTG (direct to garment) printing keeps the colors locked in wash after wash.

Is this appropriate to wear in public?

That depends entirely on your definition of "appropriate." We'd say yes. Your HR department might disagree.

Can I return it if someone gets offended?

Check our return policy, but we can't return your dignity. That was gone when you added this to your cart.