{"product_id":"lifes-a-bitch-then-you-marry-one-funny-t-shirt","title":"Life's A Bitch Then You Marry One Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Life's A Bitch Then You Marry One tee from Unethical Threads says what every married person has thought at least twice before lunch. Heavyweight cotton, available in black or white, sizes S through 4XL. The shirt your spouse will pretend to hate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who said \"I do\" and immediately started questioning their judgment. This is the official uniform of husbands who load the dishwasher wrong on purpose, wives who've memorized every divorce lawyer billboard on the highway, and bachelor party crews who want to set realistic expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you've ever described your marriage as \"a life sentence with occasional conjugal visits,\" this one's already yours in spirit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that won't fall apart faster than your last relationship\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e, sizes S to 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks are for people who still try\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the joke outlasts your patience\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eblack or white\u003c\/strong\u003e (unlike your marriage, you get a choice here)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift for a married friend?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's the best gift for a married friend. Better than a sympathy card, cheaper than couples therapy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks for anniversaries, divorce parties, Father's Day, or just a random Tuesday when your buddy texts you \"she's making me go to her mom's again.\" Pair it with a six-pack and you've got a care package that actually means something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this shirt come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit. Plenty of room for comfort and regret.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDTG printing keeps the design sharp wash after wash. Follow the care label and you're good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt going to offend someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the whole point of wearing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough to sleep on the couch in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to a wedding?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can. Should you? Depends on how much you like the couple. We take no responsibility for uninvitations.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42808284971090,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42808285003858,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42808285036626,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42808285069394,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808285102162,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808285134930,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808285167698,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42808285200466,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42808285233234,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42808285266002,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42808285298770,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808285331538,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808285364306,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808285397074,"sku":"LifesABitchThenYouMarryOneF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Lifes_A_Bitch_Then_You_Marry_One_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1791917903","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/lifes-a-bitch-then-you-marry-one-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}