{"product_id":"micropenis-club-president-tee-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"Micropenis Club President Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Micropenis Club President Tee from Unethical Threads puts 'MICROPENIS CLUB PRESIDENT' across the back of your shirt like a title on a varsity jacket. Self-deprecating, anatomically doomed, and delivered with total unearned confidence. It's the leadership position nobody's competing for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who'd rather make the joke about themselves before anyone else gets the chance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Micropenis Club President Tee is for the kind of person who treats self-deprecation like a competitive sport and losing like a personality trait. If you can wear this to a barbecue and keep a straight face while strangers read your back, you've already won whatever game the rest of us are playing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like a real shirt, not a see-through campaign handout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL (presidential duties come in all sizes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, blank front, all the action on the back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG print that keeps the text sharp and the color locked through every wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white only. Pick your preferred backdrop for the announcement.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, and it might be the only time \"I got you something presidential\" lands as a punchline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's perfect for the friend who already makes these jokes about themselves. You're not insulting them, you're giving them a formal title. The back print does the talking while they walk away from every conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat does the shirt actually say?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe back reads 'MICROPENIS CLUB PRESIDENT' in text. The front is completely blank. No graphics, no logo, no mercy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eIs the Micropenis Club President Tee offensive?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly to the person wearing it, and they chose to put it on. The joke targets the wearer, nobody else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnisex sizes S through 4XL with a relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eIs the text on the front or the back?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBack only. The front is blank, so the reveal happens when you walk away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat colors are available?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Two options, zero subtlety.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42625716027474,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42625716060242,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42625716093010,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42625716125778,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42625716158546,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42625716191314,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42625716224082,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42625716256850,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42625716289618,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42625716322386,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42625716355154,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42625716387922,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42625716420690,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42625716453458,"sku":"MicroPenisClubPresidentB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Micropenis_Club_President_Tee__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1786792371","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/micropenis-club-president-tee-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}