{"product_id":"moister-than-an-oyster-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"Moister Than An Oyster Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Moister Than An Oyster tee from Unethical Threads is exactly as inappropriate as it sounds. A text-only print that rhymes its way into your wardrobe (and other people's discomfort). Heavyweight cotton, black or white, S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's ever said something filthy out loud and felt no shame about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis reads as a women's humor tee, but it's cut unisex because innuendo doesn't care about your gender. Your friend who makes the entire brunch table go silent? This is her shirt. Your buddy who drops lines at cookouts that make dads choke on their beer? Also his shirt. It works on everyone who's ever leaned into a terrible rhyme and refused to apologize.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that doesn't disintegrate after three washes (unlike your dignity at karaoke)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Fits everyone from \"I skipped lunch\" to \"I had two lunches\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. Nothing fancy, because the words on your chest are doing all the work\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed.\u003c\/strong\u003e The text stays crisp and vivid, not cracking and peeling like a bad bumper sticker\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBlack or white.\u003c\/strong\u003e Pick whichever matches your soul\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know someone well enough to buy them this shirt, you already know the answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the tee you grab for a bachelorette party, a birthday for your most unfiltered friend, or just yourself on a random Tuesday. It arrives looking exactly like the listing, no surprises. The only reaction you need to worry about is from the person standing behind them in the checkout line at Target.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does the Moister Than An Oyster tee come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. It's a unisex relaxed fit, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors is this shirt available in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Two choices, both correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print crack or fade?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's DTG printed, meaning the ink is embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top. It holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how attached you are to your job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this actually a women's shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's unisex. The humor skews femme but the fit doesn't. Wear what's funny.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42625720877138,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42625720909906,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42625720942674,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42625720975442,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42625721008210,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42625721040978,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42625721073746,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42625721106514,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42625721139282,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42625721172050,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42625721204818,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42625721237586,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42625721270354,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42625721303122,"sku":"MoisterThanAnOysterF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Moister_Than_An_Oyster_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1786793444","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/moister-than-an-oyster-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}