{"product_id":"my-body-is-a-machine-that-turns-dcks-into-sucked-dcks-tee-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"My Body Is A Machine That Turns D*cks Into Sucked D*cks Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My Body Is A Machine That Turns D*cks Into Sucked D*cks tee is a back-printed resume nobody asked for. Big text between the shoulder blades, zero subtlety. Unethical Threads at our most useful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who are aggressively honest about their talents.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLook, if you've made it this far into the product page, you already know whether this shirt is for you. The design lives on the back, which means you're not even the one who has to read it. Everyone walking behind you is. That's the real power move.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that feels like an actual shirt, not a dryer sheet with a neck hole\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because some things don't need reinventing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG print\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that stays put wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBack print design\u003c\/strong\u003e, so the joke lands on everyone behind you\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eDoes this work as a gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you know them well enough, it's the best gift you'll ever give.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGet this for someone who has to be told to lower their voice in restaurants. Someone whose group chat would make a therapist quit. If they've ever been asked to leave a family function early, wrap this up for their birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the design on the front or back of the shirt?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe design is printed on the back. The front is blank. Your face does the talking up front, the shirt handles things from behind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton. Wash cold, tumble dry low, and it holds its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat depends entirely on where you work and how much you value continued employment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes the print fade after washing?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe DTG print holds up well. Wash inside out on cold if you want to baby it, but it keeps its color.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42487374938194,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42487374970962,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42487375003730,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42487375036498,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42487375069266,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42487375102034,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42487375134802,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42487375167570,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42487375200338,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42487375233106,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42487375265874,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42487375298642,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42487375331410,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42487375364178,"sku":"MyBodyMachineB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_Body_Is_A_Machine_That_Turns_D_cks_Into_Sucked_D_cks_Tee__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1783336473","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/my-body-is-a-machine-that-turns-dcks-into-sucked-dcks-tee-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}