{"product_id":"my-body-is-a-machine-that-turns-toes-into-sucked-toes-backprint-funny-t-shirt","title":"My Body Is A Machine That Turns Toes Into Sucked Toes Tee (BACKPRINT)","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My Body Is A Machine That Turns Toes Into Sucked Toes tee is Unethical Threads at peak efficiency. A back-print confession that reframes your weekend hobby as industrial output. Available in black or white, because your kink doesn't have a dress code.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who got tired of being coy about it. The foot thing is one of the most common fetishes on earth and somehow still gets treated like classified information. This shirt skips the whole arc and goes straight to the press conference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt hits different as a backprint. People read it as you walk away. That's not an accident, that's comedic timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a suggestion of one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e, because we're civilized about everything except the text on your back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e for color that survives actual use, not just the first rinse\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign is on the \u003cstrong\u003eback\u003c\/strong\u003e. Front stays blank for plausible deniability.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncredible gag gift. Right up until the person wearing it starts nodding along sincerely. That's the thing about the \"my body is a machine\" format: it gives you just enough ironic distance to play it as a joke, but the specificity of what fills those slots makes it feel like a real confession. Works either way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat does the design look like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe full text \"My Body Is A Machine That Turns Toes Into Sucked Toes\" is printed on the back of the shirt. The front is blank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this shirt actually good quality?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHeavyweight cotton, DTG printed. The color holds and the print won't crack or peel. It's a real garment, not a costume.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this get me weird looks?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. That is the entire point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTechnically, yes. The backprint means people only read it as you walk past, so it's really a problem for the next meeting, not this one.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42770070831186,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42770070863954,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42770070896722,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42770070929490,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42770070962258,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42770070995026,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42770071027794,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42770071060562,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42770071093330,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42770071126098,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42770071158866,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42770071191634,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42770071224402,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42770071257170,"sku":"MyBodyIsAMachineThatTurnsToesIntoB-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_Body_Is_A_Machine_That_Turns_Toes_Into_Sucked_Toes__BACKPRINT__Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1790788915","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/my-body-is-a-machine-that-turns-toes-into-sucked-toes-backprint-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}