{"product_id":"my-bush-grows-thicker-than-your-beard-so-lower-your-tone-funny-t-shirt","title":"My Bush Grows Thicker Than Your Beard So Lower Your Tone Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My Bush Grows Thicker Than Your Beard So Lower Your Tone tee is Unethical Threads at peak feminist trash-talk. It's the comeback you've been rehearsing in the shower, finally on a shirt. Available in black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho's actually wearing this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnyone who's tired of men with patchy beards acting like they run things. This shirt is for the person who doesn't flinch, doesn't explain themselves, and definitely doesn't lower their tone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt hits hardest at brunch, at the bar, or anywhere a guy with a wispy goatee has opinions about your grooming. Pair it with whatever you want. You don't need our help.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a paper towel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit\u003c\/strong\u003e in sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because V-necks weren't invited\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the design stays crisp and doesn't crack or peel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComes in \u003cstrong\u003eblack or white\u003c\/strong\u003e, pick your energy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlmost certainly. That's the whole point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf someone reads \"My Bush Grows Thicker Than Your Beard So Lower Your Tone\" across your chest and gets flustered, congratulations. This is a shirt for people who think body autonomy and a sharp sense of humor go together perfectly. If they can't handle the joke, they definitely can't handle you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt's a unisex relaxed fit. Your normal size works, but go up one if you want it oversized.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's the print quality like?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) printed, meaning the design is in the fabric, not sitting on top. No cracking, no peeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this to work?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDepends entirely on your workplace. If HR has a sense of humor, go for it. If not, save it for the weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this a good gift for someone?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIf you know they'd laugh, yes. If you have to wonder whether they'd be offended, get them a candle.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42842779713618,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42842779746386,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42842779779154,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42842779811922,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42842779844690,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42842779877458,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42842779910226,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42842779942994,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42842779975762,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42842780008530,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42842780041298,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42842780074066,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42842780106834,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42842780139602,"sku":"MyBushGrowsThickerBeardF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_Bush_Grows_Thicker_Than_Your_Beard_So_Lower_Your_Tone_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1792713825","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/my-bush-grows-thicker-than-your-beard-so-lower-your-tone-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}