{"product_id":"my-retirement-plan-is-a-parlay-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"My Retirement Plan Is A Parlay Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My Retirement Plan Is A Parlay Tee from Unethical Threads is for everyone who looked at a 401k, looked at the Sunday slate, and made the obvious choice. Block lettering on heavyweight cotton. Available in black or white.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who treat the group chat like a financial advisory board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf your idea of diversification is spreading your action across three different sports, this is your uniform. You've heard of index funds. You understand compound interest. You simply believe your model is better. The My Retirement Plan Is A Parlay Tee is the dress code for anyone whose savings strategy resets every Sunday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can handle the emotional weight of your investment strategy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neck, because you're not an animal\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the color lasts longer than your financial plan\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a great gift for anyone whose retirement plan makes their parents nervous.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks for birthdays, holidays, Father's Day, or as a very honest Secret Santa pick. If someone in your life has ever referred to a bet slip as a \"portfolio,\" you already know what to get them. Pairs well with unsolicited opinions about point spreads at Thanksgiving dinner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable across the board.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill this shirt shrink?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it holds up. Cold wash, tumble dry low.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is in the fabric, not sitting on top of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat colors does it come in?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white. Pick whichever matches your level of optimism about retirement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIs this an actual retirement plan?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. But you already knew that, and you're still here. We respect the commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42660569350226,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42660569382994,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42660569415762,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42660569448530,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42660569481298,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42660569514066,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42660569546834,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42660569579602,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42660569612370,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42660569645138,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42660569677906,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42660569710674,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42660569743442,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42660569776210,"sku":"MyRetirementPlanIsAParlayF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_Retirement_Plan_Is_A_Parlay_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1788185455","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/my-retirement-plan-is-a-parlay-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}