{"product_id":"my-wiener-isnt-12-inches-but-it-smells-like-a-foot-tee-funny-t-shirt","title":"My Wiener Isn't 12 Inches But It Smells Like A Foot Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe My Wiener Isn't 12 Inches But It Smells Like A Foot Tee from Unethical Threads is a funny graphic tee that leads with big energy and lands somewhere genuinely horrible. It's the kind of joke that rewards anyone dumb enough to read the whole thing. Available in black or white, heavyweight cotton, sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople who peaked in a group chat. If your humor runs toward \"make everyone at the cookout deeply uncomfortable,\" this is your uniform.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe whole bit works best delivered deadpan. No explaining, no pointing at your chest. Just stand there and let people read it in real time. The face journey is always worth it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a real shirt, not a napkin someone printed on\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, S-4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Big wiener energy comes in all sizes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck\u003c\/strong\u003e because even this shirt has standards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no fading into a mystery smudge.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable in black or white\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's possibly the best gift. It says \"I know exactly who you are and I'm not sorry.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWorks for birthdays, white elephants, bachelor parties, or any occasion where handing someone a shirt and watching them read it one line at a time counts as entertainment. Zero context, zero explanation. Just hand it over and wait.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eDoes this shirt shrink?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it holds up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eIs the print going to crack or peel?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on that gives up after three washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWill this get me in trouble?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDepends on where you wear it and how much you care. We make the shirt, not the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat colors does this come in?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack or white.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42705061544018,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42705061576786,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42705061609554,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42705061642322,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42705061675090,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42705061707858,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42705061740626,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42705061773394,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42705061806162,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42705061838930,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42705061871698,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42705061904466,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42705061937234,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42705061970002,"sku":"MyWienerIsnt12InchesF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/My_Wiener_Isnt_12_Inches_But_It_Smells_Like_A_Foot_Tee_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1788526309","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/my-wiener-isnt-12-inches-but-it-smells-like-a-foot-tee-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}