{"product_id":"never-killed-a-mountain-lion-but-ive-choked-a-cougar-funny-t-shirt","title":"Never Killed A Mountain Lion But I've Choked A Cougar Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Never Killed A Mountain Lion But I've Choked A Cougar tee is Unethical Threads at peak double entendre. Part outdoorsman flex, part confession you probably shouldn't make at Thanksgiving. Available in black or white, because your bad decisions should come in options.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eWho Actually Wears This?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePeople with a specific sense of humor and zero interest in explaining it. Hunters who appreciate a well-placed double meaning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe guy at every barbecue who says something that makes half the group choke on their beer while the other half pretends they didn't hear. If you've ever told a story that ended with your buddy saying \"you can't say that,\" this shirt was made for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e that actually feels like a shirt, not a see-through napkin from a clearance rack.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL.\u003c\/strong\u003e Nobody's getting left out.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrew neck.\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic. No one needs a deep V for this particular confession.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e so the text stays crisp and doesn't bail on you after a few washes. The joke deserves longevity even if the relationship didn't.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in \u003cstrong\u003eblack or white.\u003c\/strong\u003e Pick your fighter.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eIs This Actually a Good Gift?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a perfect gift for the right person and a terrible gift for the wrong one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know who in your life would wear this proudly and who would report you to HR for even suggesting it. For the friend who overshares at every cookout, the uncle who thinks he's still got it, or the coworker who somehow never gets fired, this lands every time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch2\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDoes this run true to size?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes. It's a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes, but most people find their usual size works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat sizes do you carry?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eS through 4XL. We don't gatekeep humor by waistline.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWill the print hold up?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's DTG printed directly into the fabric. No cracking, no peeling, no fading into an unreadable blur after a few washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCan I wear this in public?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLegally? Yes. Socially? That depends on the public. Dive bar, tailgate, fishing trip? You're golden. Church potluck? Read the room.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Small","offer_id":42808427413586,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-Black-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Medium","offer_id":42808427446354,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-Black-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Large","offer_id":42808427479122,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-Black-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":42808427511890,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-Black-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808427544658,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-Black-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808427577426,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-Black-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808427610194,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-Black-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Small","offer_id":42808427642962,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-White-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Medium","offer_id":42808427675730,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-White-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ Large","offer_id":42808427708498,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-White-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":42808427741266,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-White-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":42808427774034,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-White-2XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":42808427806802,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-White-3XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":42808427839570,"sku":"NeveKilledMountainLionCougarF-White-4XL","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0551\/9402\/6066\/files\/Never_Killed_A_Mountain_Lion_But_Ive_Choked_A_Cougar_Funny_T_Shirt_Black.png?v=1791922943","url":"https:\/\/unethicalthreads.com\/products\/never-killed-a-mountain-lion-but-ive-choked-a-cougar-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Unethical Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}