*NEW* I Would A Dropkick A Child For A Mug Root Beer Tee

Unethical Threads made a shirt for the person who would absolutely sacrifice a toddler's wellbeing for a cold Mug Root Beer. The I Would Dropkick A Child For A Mug Root Beer tee is for the subset of root beer fans who never learned impulse control. You know who you are.

Who actually wears this?

People who have a favorite root beer and are weirdly aggressive about it. The kind of person who ranks soda brands at parties and gets heated when someone says Barq's is better.

If you've ever had a genuine emotional reaction to a beverage, this shirt was designed specifically for your energy. It's not for everyone. That's the whole point.

• Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper situation
• Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL (because dropkicking is for every body type)
• Crew neck, because we're unhinged but not animals
• DTG (direct-to-garment) print that holds color wash after wash
• Pre-shrunk so it still fits after your root beer bloat subsides

Is this actually a good gift?

Yes. Full stop.

If someone in your life has ever uttered the words "I would do terrible things for a Mug Root Beer," you now have a moral obligation to buy this. It's the kind of gift that makes someone laugh, pause, and then nervously check if you're serious.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this shirt shrink?

It's pre-shrunk, so what you order is what you get. No surprises.

What sizes does the Dropkick A Child For A Mug Root Beer tee come in?

S through 4XL, unisex relaxed fit.

Will the print fade or crack?

DTG printing keeps the colors locked in. It won't crack, peel, or ghost on you after a few washes.

Is this offensive?

To children, maybe. To root beer fans, it's a lifestyle statement.